Recently, my friend and I promised each other that if we saw the other turning away from God, we would speak up.  Basically, we promised to be each other’s support system and to encourage each other in God.  But I found out a few weeks ago that she has been sleeping with her boyfriend and some other similar things.  I would speak up, but she doesn't know I know because both her boyfriend and sister told me on accident; they thought she would have told me.  I know she is avoiding honesty because she thinks I will scold her and be disappointed.  I admit, I am disappointed, but I just wish she would be honest with me.  How do I handle this?  I don't want to cause fights by revealing to her who told me, but I want to be able to help her.  What do I do?

Sincerely,
A Concerned Friend

Dear A Concerned Friend,

If you know that a fellow christian is living a sinful life, you have a moral obligation to do something about it.  Christ says that we should privately confront one another (Matt 18:15).  If she repents, you have saved her soul (Jas 5:20).  Make it clear that you have honest and loving concern for her (2 Thess 3:14-15).  It is an act of love to entreat a fellow christian to turn from sin (1 Jn 3:18).  No matter how you came by the information, you have a responsibility to try and save your sister.

Well, the last couple of days have really been tough...my girlfriend and I thought we conceived a baby (we are not married, and I know that is a sin), but I asked for forgiveness... but then it all fell apart.  I loved her and trusted her... she ended up telling me there was a possibility that the baby might not be mine; she left me because it was hard to be with me after she told me, and I admit it was hard, but I was willing to forgive and let go, but she left, and now she has told me that the doctors told her she probably lost the child.  I don’t know if the kid was mine, but I feel like it was.  I had dreams about it and saw myself with a lil’ boy I had never seen before.  I was so happy to find out I was going to be a daddy and was going to raise him right by God.  I’m not sure if it’s mine or if she miscarried.  I just want advice on why things like this happen.  I tried my hardest to make it work, and I wanted to be happy, but it all fell apart.  I’m twenty years old, and this is one of the hardest, if not the hardest, things I’ve ever dealt with.  I lost the love of my life and my possible child, plus she had a daughter, and she would call me “Dad”, so it’s like I lost two children.  Please, I need the Lord’s Word to get through this, so please help!

Sincerely,
Floundering

Dear Floundering,

You are experiencing the pain of sin in a very real and personal way.  God does offer forgiveness if we place our faith in Him (read “What Must I Do To Be Saved” for more details), but that forgiveness doesn’t remove the consequences of sin.  David sinned when he committed adultery with Bathsheba (2 Sam 11:2-4); God forgave David of the sin when David repented (2 Sam 12:13), but David’s child still died as a consequence of that sin (2 Sam 12:14).  Sin has both spiritual and physical consequences.  The spiritual consequence of sin is eternal death unless we are forgiven in Christ (Rom 6:23).  The physical consequences of sin still remain after forgiveness.  God says that we reap what we sow (Gal 6:7).  When we behave immorally toward a woman, lose our temper, mistreat others, are bad examples for our children, etc. – there are consequences to those choices.  God wants you to have a happy and healthy life here on this planet.  The only way to do that is to trust His Word that teaches us everything about life (2 Pet 1:3).  We are so sorry that your road has been so difficult as of late; hopefully, this will become an opportunity for you to start with a new commitment to live as God intends.  If you would like help finding a faithful congregation in your area (not all churches are equal) to help you on that journey, we would be happy assist you in locating one.  Simply e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

Will you be forgiven if you have to do something that is legal, but not morally right by God?  What if you have no other option at that moment in order to survive financially?

Sincerely,
A Difficult Decision

Dear A Difficult Decision,

You can be forgiven of anything, but that isn’t the right question to be asking.  If something is a sin (i.e. not morally right), it is a sin.  God never allows you to be tempted beyond what you are able (1 Cor 10:13).  On the Day of Judgment, you will have to give account for the life that you lived (Rom 14:12).  Peter, under fear of death, said, “We must obey God rather than men.” (Acts 5:29)  You must place your morals before your finances.  Remember, God promises that He will never let His people starve (Ps 37:25).  Trust God.

      I suffered a severe head injury and was in a coma for two days last year.  Upon awakening, I had severe amnesia.  I still do not remember being baptized.  I really feel that I should be baptized again because I would like to remember that event.  Please advise.

Sincerely,
Feeling Foggy

Dear Feeling Foggy,

Your situation is certainly unique, and we can’t give you a clear answer, but we’ll try and lay out the principles for you, so you can make as informed a decision as possible.

The word ‘baptism’ simply means ‘immersion’ – it is the reason for your immersion that makes baptism a soul-saving act.  When we understand that baptism saves us from our sins (1 Pet. 3:21) and are baptized by the authority of Christ (Acts 2:38) and believe in His Name (Mk. 16:16), then that baptism saves us.  Many people are baptized without understanding these things… in which case, they just get wet.  You will have to evaluate for yourself whether or not you understood what you were doing when you were baptized (Php 2:12).  This might be hard because you don’t remember the event itself.  If you can look at the evidence and feel confident with your motives at the time, there is no need for re-baptism.  If not or if you aren’t sure, re-baptism is a logical and conscientious decision.  At the end of the day, you are going to need to decide for yourself, and whatever decision you come to should be approached prayerfully.

Can you lose your salvation?

Sincerely,
Fallen From Grace

Dear Fallen From Grace,

Yes, you can lose your salvation – but not by accident.  There are two extremes when it comes to discussing salvation.

One extreme is the Calvinistic view that your salvation is never in jeopardy, regardless of what you do.  This view is called ‘Perseverance of the Saints’ – the belief that if you are saved, you will always persevere without ever needing to worry about your salvation.  This view is simply not biblical.  Consider several verses from the book of Hebrews.  Heb 6:4-6 talks about ‘enlightened partakers of the Holy Spirit’ (certainly this refers to saved christians) who then ‘fall away’ and ‘crucify afresh the Son of God’.  There can be no doubt that this is talking about people losing their salvation.  Heb. 10:26-27 talks about knowledgeable christians rejecting the gospel and the terrifying expectation of judgment to come upon them.  Paul said he feared that his preaching had been in vain to the Galatian brethren because they were turning away from the pure word of God (Gal 4:11, Gal 1:6).  Yes, we most certainly must watch how we live and act so as to not miss the prize of heaven (1 Cor 9:25-27).

The other extreme is to have zero confidence in your salvation.  This is the attitude of “unless I am living perfectly, I am going to be lost.”  This view is also wrong.  Christ died to save sinners (1 Tim 1:15), and it is His blood that pays the price for your entrance into heaven (1 Pet 1:18-19).  Your salvation is not dependent upon perfect living but FAITHFUL living (Eph. 2:8): hearing God’s word (Rom 10:17) and then living by that Word (Jas 2:14-18) to the best of your ability.  Perfection is not a requirement of salvation in Christ – commitment is.  A committed christian, though he often may fall short of who he wants to be, can be confident in his eternal reward.