I am a saved person and believe that Jesus died for my sins, and now I am saved and love my Lord.  I have been married to my husband for five years, and his children have treated me with hatred and contempt.  My husband is a christian, can lay on hands, and speak in tongues.  But instead of stopping their bad behavior, he lets them continue, and he says their behavior is my fault.  I do not smile or have joy, only if I'm in church.  My question is: can I commit suicide and still go to heaven?  Just can't take much more days of crying and hurt.

Sincerely,
Not A Wicked Stepmother

Dear Not A Wicked Stepmother,

Suicide is murder, self-murder, and is therefore very clearly a sin (Rev 21:8).  The only difference between suicide and murdering someone else is that you don’t get a chance to repent after suicide.  Suicide is a final decision and leaves no room for correction or for asking forgiveness.  Therefore, in most cases, it would be fair to say that suicide will send you to hell.  It is a willful act of disobedience against God without opportunity for repentance.

The only reason we here at AYP hesitate to say, “All people who commit suicide go to hell,” is because God never specifically makes that statement.  The final judgment belongs to God (Heb 12:23), but we certainly wouldn’t want to face that judgment with our own blood on our hands.

There is always a way of escape from the temptation to sin (1 Cor 10:13).  There are other options, and there is help.  If you'd like someone in your area to help you through your struggle and the conflicting messages you are receiving, we would be happy find a faithful congregation in your area to help bring you comfort and truth.  Please don't give up hope.

The Lord does provide relief through His Word (Acts 20:32).  From what you have said about speaking in tongues, laying on of hands, etc. – we fear that you may not be getting the full picture of what the Lord’s will is for His church and family (1 Tim 3:15).  We know of many preachers across the country ready and willing to help people like yourself come to a more complete understanding of the Lord’s ways.  E-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org if you would like a preacher from your area to contact you.

I was born in a Jewish home as an only child, and since I became a christian (baptism), my life has had such supernatural turmoil since I received Christ some twenty years ago – I am 45... I lived a life of lust and other various sin – soon, a "born-again christian" by the name of ‘Stormy’ witnessed Christ to me; I had an out-of-body experience and have since heard a few directives from angels, or God, seemingly directly.  "You are a priest" is one that sticks in my mind.  I currently do not live the life of a "priest"; I work and struggle to make sense of supporting myself.  I am really having a hard time making sense of who I should be in Christ.  I can't escape what I have been shown; there is no doubt about a creator, but I just don’t know how to properly serve Him.  I read the Bible in short glossy sessions, but I still don't see a clear direction.  I don't know how to be a priest; I do know how to be scared and worried.  I am currently working after spending some fifteen years on the streets.  I kind of wish Jesus would have taken me away somewhere.  I just don't know what I should be doing.  My life just seems to be a “wanting-to-die-get-it-over-with” kind of existence.  I feel lost again, but now knowing about hell.  A few opinions would help… prayers, too.

Sincerely,
Looking For Hope

Dear Looking For Hope,

It sounds like you have had a very tumultuous life and a very confusing religious journey.  Thankfully, the Bible has answers that will give you stability and peace.  Paul specifically says to ignore visions and the words of angels (Gal 1:8).  The Bible is all you need to find life and godliness (2 Pet 1:3).  The truth can be found in the sum of God’s Word (Ps 119:160).  Put all your previous religious experiences aside and start reading the Bible in meaningful, studious sessions.  When we take the Bible as our guide and place all our trust in it – confusion goes away (1 Cor 14:33).  Faith comes by hearing God’s Word (Rom 10:17).  We recommend that you read the posts “What Must I Do To Be Saved” and “Down With Denominationalism” to help clarify what God would have you do.  Both of those posts are full of verses and should give you an idea of where to start.

Furthermore, we would be happy to get you in touch with a faithful congregation in your area that could have Bible studies with you.  Having someone to teach you the gospel step-by-step can be immensely useful (Rom 10:14).  If you would like that, e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

What is the age of accountability?

Sincerely,
Old Enough to Know Better

Dear Old Enough to Know Better,

The age of accountability is the age when a child becomes accountable to God for their sins and would be judged for them… exactly at what age that happens is the tricky part of your question.  We can tell you what the Bible says on the subject, but it doesn’t say much.

We know any baby that dies goes to heaven.  David’s son died, and David made it clear that his son was in heaven (2 Sam 12:23).  Also, Paul uses the immaturity of children as an example (1 Cor 13:11).  This tells us God doesn’t have the same expectation of a child’s behavior as He does of an adult’s.  Children are not bound by the same rules as adults.  A child doesn’t have the mental capacity or maturity to be held accountable for their mistakes like adults are.

In order to become a christian, there are several things God expects you to be capable of doing:

1. Take responsibility for your sins (Acts 3:19).
2. Hear and understand the Word of God (Rom 10:17).
3. Be responsible for your own spiritual growth (1 Pet 2:1-2).

If a child is not capable of doing those things, they cannot be held accountable for their eternal future.

This still doesn’t answer the question though because every child matures at a different rate.  Everyone agrees that a five-year-old can’t be held accountable, and that a twenty-year-old can.  It is the age spectrum in between where our judgment gets fuzzy.  Only God, who knows our hearts (Lk 16:15), can accurately judge the hour in which a child makes that transition into accountability.

Can you be baptized and not be saved?

Sincerely,
Water Worries

Dear Water Worries,

People are baptized all the time without being saved!  The word ‘baptism’ comes from the Greek word ‘baptizo’ which means ‘immersion’.  The word ‘baptism’ is the same word that Greeks used when a ship sank to the bottom of the ocean or when someone dove to the bottom of a swimming pool.  In the most technical sense, people are baptized when they take baths, go swimming, etc.  Taking a bath will baptize you, but it definitely won’t save you.

Baptism is only effective when it is done by faith (Col 2:12) and by the authority of Christ (Acts 2:38).  When we are immersed in water for the purpose of appealing to God for a clear conscience (1 Pet 3:21), then we are saved.  Baptism is only effective when combined with belief in Christ (Mk 16:16).

What are the scriptures in the Bible about a christian backsliding into sin and wanting to repent and have a new relationship with God?

Sincerely,
A Fresh Start

Dear A Fresh Start,

There are several key verses that deal with backsliding and several more that deal with returning to God.  Heb 6:4-8 is the clearest passage on the danger of falling away from Christ.  Paul warns the Galatians about falling away (Gal 5:4), and the book of Hebrews says that we can fall away by drifting back into a life of sin (Heb 2:1).  If we return to old ways and faithless living after becoming christians, we have crucified Christ again (Heb 6:6).  Even Paul said that it was possible for him to become disqualified if he rejected christian living (1 Cor 9:27).

If someone falls away from Christ, they must repent and start living properly (Rev 2:5).  It is important to admit the sin and own up to our mistakes (1 Jn 1:9).  Christ is ready to forgive us innumerable times if we honestly seek Him (Matt 18:21-22).  As long as there is breath in our bodies, there is time to repent.  If you have fallen away, start over now and let today be your day of salvation (2 Cor 6:2).