I’m so torn up inside!  Why can’t I stop sinning?  I really do try, and I succeed for a while, but then I fall right back into it.  I feel as if I’m slowly escaping this sin, but I still feel burdened by it, and I’m scared God will stop forgiving me.  I know it says in the Bible that God’s grace is endless, and that’s the only thing that leads me to succeed when I do.  I refuse to give up, and feel I am slowly winning the battle, but when I fall, I feel soooooo terrible.  Any advice?

Sincerely,
Repetitive Sinner

Dear Repetitive Sinner,

When a sin becomes so entrenched in your life that you are enslaved to it (Jhn 8:34), you are dealing with an addiction.  Addictions are formed by habits, and habits are formed by repeatedly making the same choices.  James describes this process in Jas 1:13-15.  All sins begin with a mental decision.  If you want to remove an addiction, isolate the choices that are putting you in the position to commit that sin.  If you change the environment and circumstances that lead you to a sin, you change the future playing field.  One of the easiest ways to do this is to let someone else know about your struggle (Jas 5:16).  There is strength in numbers (Eccl 4:12), and exposing a sin takes its power away (Jhn 3:20).

Hi.  I have this issue of feeling alone.  I'm twenty-six and male, and never have I once had a relationship with a woman.  I'm extremely lonely to the point where I would throw myself in a bad experience just to validate my existence.  I pray every night to God for help.  I usually get so lonely I end up committing sins like porn, masturbation, etc.  It's not because I want to; it’s because I do it out of habit from being alone for so long.  The longer I wait, the more I think my soul mate doesn't exist.  Every time I think I have a chance with someone, I always find out they’re in a relationship, etc.  I love God, and even with my flaws, God is with me.  It's just that I feel deep loneliness and a longing for companionship.

Sincerely,
Alone

Dear Alone,

You have eloquently articulated what is the root of your problem – loneliness.  Now it is time to take charge of your life and remove that loneliness.  When we desperately want a spouse, we can sometimes become myopic and forget that dating isn’t the only way to fill our lives with friendship.  The problem is loneliness; the solution is to get involved in peoples’ lives.  God tells us to replace bad habits with good ones (Lk 11:24-26).  By your own admission, you have the habit of being alone.  Get involved in the lives of others – go to church (we can help you find a faithful one in your area), socialize with people your age, hang out in public places like Starbucks instead of lingering alone at home, volunteer at local non-profit organizations like the food bank or the animal shelter.  In short, get out and get active.  You have no control over whether or not you are in a romantic relationship, but you have a great deal of control over how active your life is.

I know this sounds crazy, but when I was little, I would bet on a lot of stuff (like "I'll do ten jumping jacks if I miss this basketball shot.").  But sometimes, I would say things like, "I'll go to hell if I miss this shot"… and stuff like that.  I know it was years ago, but I can't stop wondering if I am going to hell because of what I said.  And I was saved at the time, so am I?  I can't stop thinking that because I bet my life that I am and should be going to hell.  I've asked God to forgive me, but will I still go to hell?  Please help.

Sincerely,
Youthful Regrets

Dear Youthful Regrets,

Saying that you will go to hell for missing a basketball shot won’t guarantee your eternal destiny any more than saying, “I’ll go to heaven if I make this shot.”  We aren’t the final judge of our eternal home – Christ is (2 Tim 4:1).  If you have done what Christ teaches you must do to be saved, you will go to heaven (read “What Must I Do To Be Saved?” for specifics on the steps of salvation), and if you turn away from Christ, you will be lost (Acts 4:12).  Everyone deserves to go to hell because of their sins (Rom 6:23), but Christ offers to save us if we love and obey Him (Jhn 14:15).  What you did in the past doesn’t matter; what you do now is what counts (2 Cor 6:1-2).

This may be a dumb question, but why do we sin even if we know it’s wrong, and we hate even the thought of it?

Sincerely,
Selfishly Annoyed

Dear Selfishly Annoyed,

There is a constant struggle among our soul, our fleshly body, and our mind (Rom 7:14).  Sin is tempting to our physical bodies – even when we know that it damages our souls.  Sin has the power of instant gratification even though the long-term consequences are spiritual death (Rom 6:23).  Sin is alluring and enticing and plays upon our most basic physical desires (Jas 1:14).  Sin appeals to the eyes, flesh, and our pride (1 Jhn 2:16).  The devil knows all of our fundamental physical desires and exploits them to get us to do things that have major spiritual consequences.  He is tricky (Eph 6:11) and fools us unless we guard ourselves against his lies (Jhn 8:44).

I have studied in school about elderly people getting a “do not resuscitate” order for when they are past their limit and do not want to be kept alive by a machine.  I can fully see why someone would have one of these, seeing as how modern medicine values length of life and not so much quality.  I have even considered getting one of these when I get into the later years of life.  But I'm not sure if this would be considered scripturally sound.  I understand that God will take us when our time comes, and that it is all in His hands.  Yet, at what point is enough enough?  When I can no longer feed myself, so a feeding tube is inserted?  Or when I’m being kept alive by life support, but I have little to no brain function and can’t do anything but lie there waiting?  I would love to know where you stand on this.

Sincerely,
Preparing For My Funeral

Dear Preparing For My Funeral,

The act of purposefully taking your own life is definitely wrong, but refusing to prolong a terminal illness is a much murkier area.  There is no doubt that suicide is sinful (read “Victim Was The Assailant” for further details), but when someone doesn’t accept surgery, chemotherapy, life-support, etc. – that isn’t suicide.  ‘Do not resuscitate’ orders, living wills, and other such decisions are a matter of wisdom and conscience.

God very clearly teaches that we should be people who value life.  It isn’t our right to presumptuously choose the moment of our death (Eccl 8:8).  Just because we are suffering isn’t necessarily a reason to stop fighting for life.  Suffering can be a very important part of our life here (Eccl 7:14).  The general rule should be to seek to preserve life – even our consciences tell us this.  It is called the “survival instinct”.

On the other hand, there comes a point when continuing to poke, prod, and prolong the life of a body that is obviously dying can offend our conscience as well.  This is where wisdom comes in.  God tells us to ask Him for wisdom (Jas 1:5) and to make conscientious decisions (1 Tim 3:9).  There is no magic answer to your question – only principles to follow in a very difficult time.