I feel I have lost faith in humanity.  Now, at the age of twenty-three, after going through some extremely challenging times and feeling deeply wounded, I find myself not developing relationships with others.  However, I have a strong relationship with God and have strong spiritual conviction.

In my past, I have never been able to trust men, and I fear returning to church because I know it’s set up in a patriarchal structure.  I feel like if I go back to the church, then I will have to be inferior to men and God, and I cannot accept that fate as I am a strong, loving woman and feel that gender should have no role in my relationship with God.  How can I restore my faith in humanity when I have suffered and endured so much and am continuously disappointed by the acts of others?

Sincerely,
Jaded

Dear Jaded,

Before you give up on mankind, remember something – God hasn’t given up on us.  Until God destroys this world with fiery judgment at the Second Coming, there is hope for people (2 Pet 3:7-9).  Even though many people are ungodly and uncaring (after all, the gate to destruction is wide – Matt 7:13), not everyone is that way.

Any religious groups that treat women as inferior aren’t reading their Bibles.  The Bible clearly states that women are equal heirs of life with men (1 Pet 3:7).  Men and women are different, but different doesn’t mean one is better than the other.  The Bible is the only great religious document to treat women with such esteem.  Two books of the Bible are named after women (Ruth and Esther).  An entire chapter of Proverbs is dedicated to the worth and wonder of godly women (Proverbs 31).  While the Koran, Dharma, and Veda all treat women as inferior… the Bible protects your rights and esteems your value.

It is impossible to serve God and not interact with people.  People are what Christ came to this earth for (Matt 28:18-20).  Christians are warned against forsaking the church and failing to gain and offer the encouragement that can be found in church services (Heb 10:24-25).  Christianity isn’t meant to be pursued alone… God put us on this earth together.  We can help you find a faithful church in your area.  We admit that many churches aren’t faithful and aren’t trustworthy, but just because false teachers have let you down, that doesn’t mean you stop looking.  Searching for a Bible-fearing congregation is part of what hungering and thirsting for righteousness is all about (Matt 5:6).  Maybe, just maybe, all your struggles have been leading up to this moment when you could find us, and we could help you find people who love the Lord as much as you do.  You never know until you try.  Our e-mail is askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we are happy to help.

While on vacation, I had heard other christians say it’s okay to take the Lord's Supper in their hotel room.  My concern is when checking out places to take vacations, shouldn't a christian go where they know a church exists?  It seems you’re not putting God first – but your vacation.

Sincerely,
Travel Agent

Dear Travel Agent,

There are some issues that it would best not to be too dogmatic about – this is one of them.  Some brethren feel that you can take the Lord’s Supper and hold services in your hotel room on a Sunday because God says that “where two or three are gathered together, there I am” (Matt 18:20).  Others feel as you do, that all vacations should have a congregation to visit planned into the trip.  It is impossible to say that one brother is right and the other is wrong in this sort of situation.  Paul tells us that when the Scriptures leave room for personal choice, that we should allow each christian to independently decide because we all must face God independently (Rom 14:3-4).  You have a very valid point in your view of this issue and should make sure to never offend your own conscience by vacationing where there is no church (Rom 14:23), but don’t be too judgmental with those who feel differently.

What is the role of elders?  Can women be elders?  Why or why not?

Sincerely,
Quality Control

Dear Quality Control,

Elders are the superintendents of a local congregation, and they are always men.The word elder is one title to describe the leaders of a local church. Other titles include 'overseer/bishop' (depending on translation – 1 Tim 3:1) and 'pastor' (Eph 4:11). The title of the job explains their role. They have the oversight of God’s people. That oversight only extends to one congregation (1 Pet 5:2), the local congregation that they are among. Each congregation has elders appointed in it (Acts 14:23).

Elders must meet strict requirements before they are appointed. Those qualifications can be found in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9. Elders are always referred to by the pronouns 'he' and 'him' – thus making them men. Also, one of the qualifications is that they be 'a husband of one wife' (Titus 1:6) which makes it pretty clear we are talking about men. Elders also never serve alone.  All the churches in the Bible had multiple elders. Elders serve an important role of protecting, leading, and guiding the direction of a congregation. They will give an account for every christian in their congregation (Heb 13:17). A congregation should never take lightly the responsibility of appointing only completely qualified elders.

I am forty-three and have been a christian since I was nineteen.  Since then, I have seen so much judgment, condemnation, hatred, and intolerance within the church towards other christians.  Finding a church and other christians that don't make me want to gouge my eyes out has been impossible.  The Bible seems to be very contradictory, and God claims to be loving, but according to the Bible, He is more angry than loving.  My life has been horrible, and Christianity has brought no relief.  A friend of mine who is a Nichren Buddhist has introduced me to Buddhist chanting.  In one month, I have gotten more peace and relief from that than from being a christian.  I have always felt that my pain and prayers have fallen on deaf ears by God.  I am very conflicted and am standing at a crossroad.  I really don't know what direction to take.  Why has Christianity been such a dissatisfying experience for me?  Why has every church member I have ever known been such a hypocrite and fake?  I would like to believe that God really wants us to be happy, but my personal experiences have not been the case.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Ohm

Dear Ohm,

Corruption, hypocrisy, and scandal have been hallmarks of religion for as long as there has been religion… even in Jesus’ day.  The entire chapter of Matthew 23 is devoted to Christ lambasting the hypocrisy of the religious leaders of His day.  Paul warned that false teachers would commandeer Christ’s message for their own gain (2 Tim 4:3), and Peter sternly rebuked many of his contemporaries for their evil motives that would cause people (just like yourself) to doubt the truth because of the corruption of the messengers (2 Pet 2:1-2).  But there is hope!

Just like in Jesus’ day, there are pockets of people who actually practice what God preaches.  Most churches that proclaim Christ aren’t doing what the Bible teaches and are warping and twisting Jesus’ message (Gal 1:6-7), but there are congregations that truly do want to do only what the Bible says… people who are hearing and sincerely trying to do what God teaches (Jas 1:22-25).  We here at AYP remember that feeling of frustration with the religious confusion and hypocrisy.  We remember what it was like to feel frustrated to the point of giving up – and then we found the truth and people who love each other and love the Lord.

We can help you find a congregation in your area that can show you that there are sincere, honest people trying to serve God.  Christianity isn’t complicated when people do it God’s way.  Don’t give up just yet.  If you are willing to give it a try, we would be happy to help find a congregation in your area.  Just e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

We have recently been told at our church not to visit any church because that is church prostitution, and anyone who does visit other churches is a spiritual prostitute.  Is there any such thing as church prostitution and spiritual prostitution?

Sincerely,
Faithful Member

Dear Faithful Member,

The Bible does talk about spiritual prostitution – but never about church prostitution.  Spiritual prostitution is idolatry (Judg 2:17).  If someone decided to regularly attend a congregation that wasn’t faithful… that would be a very real problem, but simply visiting other faithful, God-fearing churches in your area isn’t wrong.  It also isn’t wrong if you are searching other churches because you want to find a church that is more faithful!

The problem is that many, many churches aren’t faithful.  Corruption is so prevalent in religion today that it is deeply disturbing.  God even warned us that false teaching would come (2 Thess 2:3).  Be very wary of churches that only tell you what you want to hear, instead of what you need to hear (1 Tim 4:3-4).  Compare all churches to the Scriptures; test all preaching against the Bible (1 Jn 4:1).  We recommend you read “Finding A Church” and “Down With Denominationalism” before visiting around.