I am a Christian separated from my husband who is also a Christian.  We have been separated for three years.  No unfaithfulness has been committed on either part, but there are issues that have not been resolved yet.  I have relocated to another state and am active in my church.  I was asked to accept a leadership role, and I did, but I recently stepped down because my husband said it is not biblical for me to be in leadership with our marriage the way it is.  Is this true?

Sincerely,
Separated

Dear Separated,

We are sorry to hear about your separation, but it sounds like you are handling it the way the Lord intends in such circumstances (1 Cor 7:10-11).  Here is the issue – we don’t know what church you are attending, but biblically there are no official leadership positions for women in the church.  Technically, the only positions of authority within the church are elders and deacons.  The qualifications for both elders and deacons require that they be men (1 Tim 3:1-12).  Any church that is creating leadership positions other than those found in the Bible is adding to the Word of God (Rev 22:18-19).

Why do some churches baptize in the name of Father, Son, and Holy Ghost when everyone in the Bible was baptized in Jesus’ name?

Sincerely,
Get It Right

Dear Get It Right,

There is no difference between being baptized in the name of Jesus Christ and being baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; both phrases are used in the New Testament (Acts 2:38, Matt 28:19).

[This question is in response to “Feminine Ways”]

How do you view Deborah in the Bible?  How do you explain why God mentions her at all?  She judged both men and women in Israel.  I'm not convinced that God will be boxed in to whom He can use at any given time.  God Bless.

Sincerely,
Thinking Outside the Box

Dear Thinking Outside the Box,

The only rules God is “boxed in” by are His own.  The Bible is full of women that taught and shared God’s wisdom… Deborah is just one example of them.  Miriam, Moses and Aaron’s sister, was a prophetess (Ex 15:20), and so were Philip’s four daughters (Acts 21:8-9).  The problem is not with women teaching; it is the venue in which they do it.

We didn’t make 1 Cor 14:34 and 1 Tim 2:12 – those are God’s laws, not ours.  We also didn’t make the qualifications that an elder be a man – the Lord authored Tit 1:5-9 and 1 Tim 3:1-7.  The qualifications for an elder restrict women from being pastors, but it also forbids young men, unmarried men, and those without children.  It isn’t a matter of the value of people; it is a matter of what God’s law says.

Hello.  I thank you for offering information to me in the past.  I am wondering if you have a church denomination?  If so, what would it be?

Sincerely,
Who Are You?

Dear Who Are You,

Our congregation here in Monroe goes by the name ‘Monroe Valley church of Christ’ because ‘church of Christ’ is a Biblical name for a congregation (Rom 16:16), but we aren't a denomination – just a group of Christians who have gathered together to be God's people in Monroe.  We worship by singing (Col 3:16), studying the Bible (1 Tim 4:13), praying (2 Thess 3:1), taking communion (only on Sundays – Acts 20:7), and taking up a collection (also only on Sundays – 1 Cor 16:1-2).  We teach that you must hear God’s Word (Rom 10:17), believe God’s Word (Jhn 3:16), repent of your sins (Mk 6:12), confess Jesus as your Savior (Lk 12:8), and be baptized to be saved (Acts 2:38, 1 Pet 3:21).  We do all these things because they are practices found in the Bible.

There are other congregations like ours scattered across the country and the world.  Most of them use the name ‘church of Christ’, but then again, many churches that use that name aren’t faithful.  A Bible name for a church isn’t enough to make it faithful.  We have helped others, like yourself, looking for New Testament Christianity find faithful congregations in their area by contacting other preachers and christians that we know.  We’d be happy to do the same for you.  If you feel comfortable, just let us know what general area you live in, and we will try and get you in touch with a congregation that lives like your Bible reads (our e-mail is askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org).

     We recently had a man from the congregation preach for us, and as he talked, he told the unfortunate story of how his son's life was not in accordance with God's will and how he wished so much that he could even share a meal with him, but because of his sinful state, he could not be around him.  Is this the kind of separation the Bible teaches we are to have from those outside Christ?  How can we be a light to those not in Christ if we can't speak a word to them?

Sincerely,
Seems Harsh

Dear Seems Harsh,

It sounds like this man’s son became a Christian and then fell away.  When that happens, the church is told to show tough love and separate themselves from the wayward brother or sister.  We are commanded to “withdraw from” and “have no company with” an ungodly Christian (2 Thess 3:6, 1 Cor 5:1-13).  We are to do this for the sinner’s own good, hoping it will bring shame on them, and they will repent (2 Thess 3:14). This is really a loving thing to do even though it is a hurtful and sorrowful act for all people involved. The church is given strict orders to withdraw and not associate with a wayward brother or sister (1 Cor 5:13).

However, the immediate family doesn’t have the same “black and white” guidelines.  In fact, we see that in some scenarios, the family is commanded to do the opposite – as in the case of an unbelieving spouse (1 Cor 7:13).  Sometimes the family has a greater influence by still associating with the wayward Christian… in other cases, the family finds the best way to help the sinning loved one is to separate themselves.  When dealing with immediate family, there are wisdom and judgment calls involved.

It is important to note that when a Christian turns back to a life of sin, the church is supposed to separate themselves from them… but that command only applies to wayward Christians.  The apostle Paul specifically tells us that we should try to draw near and affect the lives of sinners that haven’t ever obeyed the gospel (1 Cor 5:9-10).  Christians should seek to be lights in the world and examples to those who have never known Christ.