I was reading a question to a priest, and I asked him why we call him ‘father’ when it specifically says not to in the Bible (Matt 23:8). His response was that it is for the same reason a child calls their parent ‘father’; they are the natural father and the priest is the spiritual father. While I believe calling a priest ‘father’ is wrong, why is it okay to call our birth parent ‘father’?

Sincerely, Paternal Nomenclature

Dear Paternal Nomenclature,

Calling a priest ‘father’ is wrong because, as the priest said, it is referring to ‘father’ in a spiritual sense. That is what Christ is condemning in Matt 23:8-10. Christ is rebuking people who elevate themselves above others within the church. Catholic priests place themselves in a position of spiritual superiority and authority above others. That is wrong and exactly what Christ told His disciples never to do.

On the other hand, the term ‘father’ is perfectly fine when used to refer to a physical parent. The Bible itself uses the word ‘father’ almost 1,000 times, and the vast majority of those times refer to fleshly parents. Gen 2:24, Gen 9:22, Lev 20:9, Pr 17:25, Mk 10:29, Lk 11:11 are just a few examples. Our fathers are a blessing from God given to us for a time to guide and discipline us (Heb 12:9-10). They are worthy of honor and the title ‘father’ (Eph 6:2).

My daughter would like to start attending a congregation much closer to her home, but the congregation sends a small fund to another church to support a preacher in Cuba. It also has, on occasion, had ladies’ meetings at which a lunch is served. The church that she attends at present does much of the same things, except they have church sponsored pot-lucks held at the building once a month and game days on a chosen day at the building. Both of the congregations are in the liberal camp, but the first congregation has a good program for learning, strong elders, and would not pressure a person into doing anything against their own conscience. The question is, which of these two congregations would you recommend that she attend, and how would you counsel her to give of her means since she knows it is her responsibility? Thank you; she will be looking forward to hearing the answer.

Sincerely, Motherly Mother

Dear Motherly Mother,

It sounds like a no-brainer to me. You are trying to choose between two undesirable situations, so I will only respond to the question you asked. The first congregation you mentioned is:

1. much closer
2. less liberal
3. has better elders
4. has better teaching

In my opinion, that would be the best choice.

Now, concerning your question on giving: you certainly need to give as you have been prospered (1 Cor 16:2). I know nothing about the congregation you described, but I do know that there are a hundred different degrees of liberalism as well as conservatism. If you can give with a good conscience (1 Tim 1:19), then give at that congregation. If you believe your money will be used unscripturally and/or will be used to promote more unscriptural projects, then I would send my money to a congregation that would use it in harmony with the Lord's will. Perhaps that congregation would also be a better one to attend.

Titus 1:6 speaks of "the husband of one wife".

Can a divorced brother who is remarried be referred to as “the husband of one wife” and thus be ordained as a deacon?  His wife is also a divorcee.

Please help; I am confused!

Sincerely, Choosing Wisely

Dear Choosing Wisely,

He may be qualified; he may not – your congregation will need to properly judge whether he fulfills the requirements of Tit 1:6. The phrase ‘husband of one wife’ literally means a ‘one woman man’ in the Greek. He must be devoted exclusively and faithfully to his one wife. A man who is widowed and then remarried could still be properly described as a ‘one woman man’ because he was completely devoted to his first wife until her death, and now is fully devoted to his current wife.

The question you will have to wrestle with is if this divorced brother has shown the character trait of monogamous fidelity. Why did he get divorced? Was it for infidelity? Was he always faithful to her? Did she leave him, or did he leave her? How does he behave with his current wife? How long has he been married to his current wife? The answers to these questions will help you to assess whether he is a faithful ‘one woman man’.

You are right to be concerned about him serving as a deacon. Divorce is a red flag that should make us pause before appointing a man as a qualified deacon, but depending on the circumstances surrounding his divorce, he may still be qualified.

 

A few weeks ago you answered a question about inter-faith marriages.  You listed four possible outcomes to the described situation; three of which you labeled as "BAD" and only one as "GOOD."

The first two outcomes are below:

1. She eventually converts and obeys the gospel, becomes a christian, and is saved (GOOD).
2. You eventually convert and obey the Catholic church, and you are both lost (BAD).

Your response implies that Catholics are not Christians and that Catholics are not saved.  I realize that there is only one truth, but many denominations obey the gospel.  Truth is not limited to one denomination.

Where in the Bible do you find that there is only one church that is "properly" Christian?

Sincerely, Accepting Our Differences

Dear Accepting Our Differences,

Where in the Bible do you see there being more than one church that is properly Christian? The burden of proof lies upon those who wish to add churches to God's design. Paul said there was only one church, one doctrine, and one God (Eph 4:4-5). Jesus always referred to His church, not His churches (Matt 16:18). Jesus is head of the church – one head, one body (Eph 5:23). The truth is nobody even fathomed the idea of anything but one church in the first century.

When you write that ‘truth is not limited to one denomination’, you treat that assertion as an established fact… when in reality the opposite is true. Multiple religions are condemned in the New Testament. Any practices other than New Testament practices are condemned (2 Thess 2:15). Christians are warned against warping, altering, and perverting God’s established teachings for His church (Gal 1:6-9, Rev 22:18-19). Furthermore, we are promised that many will claim to have served Christ in this life and will be turned away as false Christians on the Judgment Day (Matt 7:21-23).

The practices of the New Testament church are laid out simply in the New Testament. Any congregation that wants to serve Christ need merely look at the church of the Bible and mimic its behavior (see our post here for further details on finding a faithful church). If a congregation wants to ensure its place as part of Christ’s body, it must submit to Christ’s teachings alone. There can be no man-made creeds, no human ideas and theologies, no statements of faith – just the Bible.

The Catholic church is not the same as Christ’s church, therefore Catholics are not Christians. The Catholic church accepts the pope as it’s head, placing his authority above the Bible. Their practices fit perfectly with Paul’s definition of what false religion looks like: forbidding marriages and abstaining from certain foods (1 Tim 4:1-3). Catholic priests expect to be called ‘father’, a practice in direct contradiction to the Scripture (Matt 23:9). The church of the Bible looks nothing like the Catholic church – you cannot be both a Catholic and a Christian.

I've been a member of my church for my entire life, and I was raised based in this doctrine.  I see some major inconsistencies with the doctrine and the Bible.  I have looked into other congregations that might better fit the Bible's description of what we are supposed to be doing, but I can't find anything that's completely proper according to the Bible.

I can't justify moving to another church (that is also imperfect) even though I understand that some things aren't being done according to Scripture.  What should I do?

Sincerely, Church Shopping

Dear Church Shopping,

Don’t look for another church with another doctrine; look for a church that is trying to follow the New Testament pattern as closely as possible. A congregation doesn’t need to be full of perfect people, but they need to be trying to faithfully follow God’s Word and not their own ideologies. The following are a few markers of what you should find in every church that is faithful to Christ’s Word:

1. Their name should be Biblical. Church of Christ (Rom 16:16), the church (Acts 14:27), church of God (1 Cor 1:2), the Way (Acts 24:14) – all of these are Biblical names given to a local congregation. Having the right name on the front of the building doesn’t mean they are the right church, but if they can’t even get their name from the Bible, they probably aren’t worth wasting your time on.
2. Their doctrine should be a copy of the New Testament (Acts 2:42). Any creeds, ‘statements of faith’, articles of belief, manuals, or handbooks are from man and not from God. You want a congregation that uses the Bible to decide their practices.
3. They are autonomous. Every congregation of the New Testament had independence. Only local elders were over them (1 Pet 5:1-2, Acts 14:23). They were bound to follow Christ as their only head (Eph 5:23). No boards or committees, no headquarters in some other state, no popes or potentates – what you are looking for is a local body of believers which is accountable to Christ and His Word.
4. The church’s work should be simple. The church of the first century wasn’t involved in every community and political arena. Their work was focused on three things – caring for needy christians (Acts 4:34), preaching to the lost, and teaching the saved (Acts 15:35). Find a congregation who is committed to being about Christ’s work.
5. They should be open to examination. Any congregation that is serving Christ should be willing to explain why they do what they do. They should be willing to be examined because they are constantly examining themselves (2 Cor 13:5). There is nothing wrong with asking a congregation where their practices can be found in the New Testament. Ask questions and expect Bible answers for them.

These five things are by no means all of the characteristics of Christ’s church, but this should help narrow down your options significantly. Most people accept mediocrity from their church; don’t do that. It is unfair to expect the people of a congregation to be perfect… you will never find perfect humans. However, you should demand intellectual honesty and Biblical faithfulness from any congregation you want to be a member of. If you would like additional help as you look for a faithful congregation in your area, please email us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org and we would be happy to help you look.