My wife and I are members of a church of Christ, the kind that has a fellowship hall, youth minister (and stuff like that), but no instrumental music (or anything like that).  My point is, my wife and I have become a little uncomfortable with this zeal and not being able to find the authority for these things.  We went to a very conservative type of church of Christ, like your congregation (from what I gather from y'all’s answers). There is more to it than that but, my question is: what can we expect with a change from a "liberal" type of church of Christ to a "conservative" church of Christ?

Sincerely,
Motivated To Move

Dear Motivated To Move,

Oftentimes, the worship service at liberal congregations doesn’t seem all that different from the worship service at conservative ones, but the principles behind why they each do what they do is vastly different.

The fundamental difference between the more conservative congregations and the more liberal ones is how closely they adhere to the Bible pattern.  In a conservative congregation, you will see the focus of the church being upon preaching the truth to the lost, teaching the saved, and carrying for needy saints – that’s it.  A conservative congregation believes that the church is sufficient to do God’s work, and they shouldn’t delegate that work out to another organization like a missionary society.  Conservative congregations support preachers directly, and they send funds directly to care for other needy christians… just like the Bible pattern.  This is why conservative congregations are sometimes referred to as ‘non-institutional’.  They don’t believe any other institution should take the place of the church – not a missionary society, not a federation of congregations pooling their funds, not a group of preachers controlling the direction of multiple churches.

The other thing that you will see is that a conservative congregation believes that there is a difference between individual responsibilities and congregational responsibilities.  Individuals have the responsibility to spend time together and socialize with other christians.  Individuals have the responsibility to do good to all mankind and be involved in their community as helpers of the poor and friends to strangers (Gal 6:10).  The church has the responsibility to be the pillar and ground of the truth (1 Tim 3:15).  You won’t see the church using its resources (including its building) for purely social activities such as potlucks – it is our responsibility as individuals to show hospitality (Heb 13:2).  You also won’t see the church getting caught up in secular charity activities like food pantries for the poor or community activism – it is our responsibility as individuals to effect change in our communities and help our neighbors. When we blur the lines between what the church should be doing and what individual christians should be doing, we get into all sorts of trouble.  Conservative congregations do their best to keep those lines as distinct as the Bible does.

In short, a conservative congregation will always show you Bible authority for what it does.  We speak where the Bible speaks and are silent where the Bible is silent (Rev 22:18-19).

    I have been a minister (ordained in the Baptist faith) now for nearly twenty-seven years.  My wife left me after twenty-eight years of marriage, and I'm currently still the pastor.  However, I need a helpmate.  I want to date, but all women are scared of dating a preacher.  I understand that, too.  I don't want to cause a "black eye" on the church, so here is my question:

I'm fifty-one and alone… if I start dating women, should I quit preaching?  Not quit serving God, NO!  Quit preaching.  I think that would look best on God and His church… not a denomination, but the church of all believers of the Son of God.  Please give your honest opinion.  Again, thanks for your honestly.

Sincerely,
Single Baptist

Dear Single Baptist,

You say that you don't believe in denominationalism, but you are preaching for a denomination.  You've been through a lot, and we cannot imagine the pain you must feel having your wife leave you – tragedies like your divorce are a time to evaluate quite a few things in life.  What if we told you that the Lord's church does exist without denominationalism?  What if we told you there are groups of people that do just what the Bible says without denominational ordainings, traditions, and hierarchies?  After twenty-seven years of preaching for a denomination, would you be willing to consider that the Lord's church isn't part of that world?  In the Lord's church, preachers are just men (Acts 14:15) and are treated like all other christians – even when it comes to dating.  There is another way; we urge you to read the article "Down With Denominationalism", and if you are interested, we would be happy to study these issues out with you.

     We went to a church that believed if you were married more than once you couldn't be a deacon or preacher. This is because the Bible says you can only be the husband of one wife.  Is this a correct interpretation?

Sincerely,
Counting Criteria

Dear Counting Criteria,

The qualification you are referring to can be found in 1 Tim 3:12.  The phrase ‘husband of one wife’ literally means a ‘one-woman man’ in the Greek. He must be devoted exclusively and faithfully to his one wife. A man who is widowed and then remarried could still be properly described as a ‘one-woman man’ because he was completely devoted to his first wife until her death, and now is fully devoted to his current wife.

The question a congregation has to wrestle with is if a divorced brother has shown the character trait of monogamous fidelity. Why did he get divorced? Was it for infidelity? Was he always faithful to her? Did she leave him, or did he leave her? How does he behave with his current wife? How long has he been married to his current wife? The answers to these questions will help assess whether he is a faithful ‘one-woman man’.

Divorce is a red flag that should make us pause before appointing a man as a qualified deacon, but depending on the circumstances surrounding the divorce, the man may still be qualified.

     I am happy to write to you.  I am wanting to know how you conduct your worship on Sundays.

God bless you.

Sincerely,
Looking For Order

Dear Looking For Order,

The Bible gives us examples and commands for five different elements to the public worship.

1. Teaching/Preaching (1 Cor 4:17)
2. Singing (Eph 5:19)
3. Prayer (Acts 12:5)
4. Taking A Collection – Sunday only (1 Cor 16:1-2)
5. Lord’s Supper – Sunday only (Acts 20:7)

Of these five elements, two of them are specifically allowed only on Sundays.  The others can be done any time the brethren get together.  The congregation here in Monroe, WA is a simple New Testament congregation, and our worship is just what you find in the Bible.

     My wife and I attend the church of Christ, but most of our families do not.  I have heard our families and even some visitors say they don't like a large congregation. Our congregation started in 1950 with about forty people; today, we have 350 to 400 members.  My point is, sometimes I get the impression that some think that larger congregations are unscriptural and lean more towards the doctrine of man.  However, our elders have always made sure to stick to Scripture at all cost.  My question is: does the Bible reveal how many people gathered to worship God in the first century church (the church of Christ)?

Sincerely,
Part Of A Big Family

Dear Part Of A Big Family,

Christ’s churches have been as small as two or three, as big as several thousand, and everything in between.  Jesus said that “where two or three are gathered together in My name, there I am” (Matt 18:20)… so a congregation can in fact be very tiny.  Some first century churches met in homes, which probably meant they weren’t too big (Col 4:15).  However, we also see that the first congregation was over five thousand strong (Acts 4:4).  The size isn’t the issue – it is the adherence to the Bible pattern of truth that God cares about (1 Tim 3:15).  It is sometimes more difficult to hold to that pattern the larger a congregation gets because there are more voices and more potential for division, but that doesn’t mean that large congregations are somehow unscriptural by default.  If your group is large and faithful – what a wonderful blessing!