My son is dying a horrible, long lasting death of ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease).  I have been a Christian my whole life and an active staff member in the church.  My whole spiritual world has been rocked by watching my son suffer day after day with nothing in sight except a horrible death.  My question is:  I have been taught my whole life that God answers prayers.  That is not true.  God can heal.  Yes, He can, but it is just a matter of whether or not He will.  God doesn't like to watch His children suffer.  Then why does He let us?

Sincerely,
Mad Mom

Dear Mad Mom,

We are so sorry for your son's suffering, and we cannot fathom the pain it has wrought for you as well.  Sickness is a consequence of Adam and Eve’s sin in the Garden of Eden.  One of the curses of their sin was that we all must face our own mortality – life is finite (Gen 2:17).  Sickness, disease, and pain are a part of the human existence.  Sadly, this is true even for our children.  When God gave us freewill, He gave us the right to cause problems for ourselves and others, and if He simply removed all the consequences for our actions, He would be removing our freedoms as well.

God could have made us without the freedom to choose, but then we wouldn’t be “in His image”… we would be automatons.  As a parent, you have seen how the freewill of our children can break our hearts sometimes, and it can be difficult to see your children hurt when they make choices that have painful consequences.  From scraped knees to heartaches, parents watch their children get hurt when they leave the nest and strike out on their own.  God has that same parental paradox (Heb 12:9-10) – the love to let us choose even when those choices have caused all sorts of problems for us.  Your son is suffering because of the diseases mankind’s choices have brought upon us.

I am sick with allergies (environmental and food), bronchitis, and stomach issues that include GERD and IBS.  I have also found out that I have chronic ear disease with a hole in one eardrum.  I have all sorts of little things going on.  My question is: is it something I have done?  I want to fix it whatever it is, but I first need to know what it is that I have done.  How do I find out if it is my fault?

Sincerely,
Sick Of Being Sick

Dear Sick Of Being Sick,

You might be hurting for living unfaithfully… but that is only one of several reasons why people suffer.  Here are the two other reasons why people suffer:

1. Sometimes bad things simply happen because they happen.  Job suffered greatly, and his children died, but it wasn’t his (or their) fault.  Job hadn’t done anything wrong, nor had his kids.  It all happened because Satan wanted to do evil (Job 1:6).  As long as we live in this world of sin, there will be troubles.  Sometimes, there isn’t anyone at fault… just time and chance wreaking havoc in a sinful world (Eccl 9:11).
2. Sometimes people suffer so that God can be glorified.  Jesus’ disciples asked Him why a certain man had been born blind, and Jesus answered, “So that God’s works might be revealed in him.” (Jhn 9:1-3)  This man’s ailment provided an opportunity for God to show His glory.  There are times that we suffer, so God can teach us and teach others through our pain (Eccl 7:2-3).

You are doing the right thing by examining your life and making sure that you are right with God.  If you would like to have Bible classes or need a congregation, we can help you find a faithful one near you (our e-mail is askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org), but unfaithfulness isn’t the only cause of suffering.

     I'm going to be up front with you; I am not a Christian.  I have no desire to be.  My fiancé, on the other hand, is.  I am trying to understand how he believes, so we will have a more harmonious union.  I asked him this question, and he did not know the answer.

My question is: if the Lord is so wonderful, why would He want to see His children suffer?  Why would He take away a life that has not yet even begun?  Why would He hurt the innocent when the evil continue to live?  I don't understand this.

If you could please explain this in simple terms – the preachers in my area get very upset when someone doubts the Lord’s amazing-ness.  Thus, I am turning to you, whoever you are, to give me a straight answer.  Thank you so much.

Sincerely,
Unbelievable

Dear Unbelievable,

Many people don’t believe in God because religious people are unwilling or incapable of giving logical answers to questions like this.  We are so sorry that you’ve never gotten the answers that the Bible offers because the Bible does give an answer to this question.
This world is full of all sorts of disease, pain, violence, and strife – but God didn’t cause those things; sin did.  All bad things are a result of sin.  When God made the world, He placed mankind in the Garden of Eden and gave us a joyously blissful existence in that paradise.  Who caused the pain?  We did.  It is sin that has brought all of the death, disease, decay, pain, suffering, troubles, and heartaches into our world.  We all, in varying degrees, are reaping the benefits of a world with sin in it.  Sickness is a consequence of Adam and Eve’s sin in the Garden of Eden.  One of the curses of their sin was that we all must face our own mortality – life is finite.  Sickness, disease, and pain are a part of the human existence.  Sadly, this is true even for our children. When God gave us freewill, He gave us the right to cause problems for ourselves and others, and if He simply removed all the consequences for our actions, He would be removing our freedoms as well.  The flip-side to this is that all children go to heaven, so after a child dies, God immediately comforts them on the other side.

God gives mankind the freedom to make decisions, but He also has the wisdom to know how those choices will affect the future (Job 12:13).  God planned before the foundation of the world to save us by sending His own Son to die (Eph. 1:3-4).  Even though He isn’t responsible for our choices, God sent the perfect cure. This world isn’t fair – if it were, it would be heaven.  Instead, we live in a fallen world where man has been exiled from paradise.  This world is not our home; Christians await a better world (Heb 11:16).

     Is it okay for Christians to meditate?  If you pray to relieve stress but also want to just take a few minutes a day to picture a nice scenery or something to bring zen, is that okay?

Sincerely,
Mind Over Matter

Dear Mind Over Matter,

God wants us to dwell upon positive things (Php 4:8).  There is nothing wrong with meditating on the good and beautiful of this life.  Ps 77:12 talks about dwelling upon God’s creation and His handiwork as a positive thing.  Meditation isn’t a replacement for prayer – but it can be pleasant.

     I've recently become aware of my backsliding, and I've decided to fix things in my life to make myself closer to God.  I have a band that is secular, and it's definitely my livelihood at twenty-two years old.  I don't sing about Satan or bash God or anything of that nature, but I have used swearing and talking about killing posers (in a playful manner; I play Thrash Metal, so it is an aggressive form of music).  However, I do have a lot of songs about the realities of nuclear war, sci-fi movies, etc.

I don't know what to do.  I want to get right with God, but I'd hate to see my band end over it (I know that sounds very selfish saying it or typing it out).

I've had a very bad history with religion.  I abandoned my faith as a teenager and did just about every kind of blasphemy and obscene and irreverent living you can think of.  When I was seventeen, I came close to dying from alcohol poisoning, and it made me realize that I needed Jesus back in my heart.  I struggled for YEARS... yes, YEARS, in agonizing fear of being unforgiven for all the horrible things I did out of rebellion... I worried about God hating me or not forgiving me.

Anyways, I've gotten carried away; I'm just concerned.  What's your opinion?

Sincerely,
Giving Myself A Thrashing

Dear Giving Myself A Thrashing,

Can you still play and cut out all swearing? Swearing is a sin (Eph 4:29).  Can you clean up the content of your music?  All that we say and dwell on should attempt to be pure and honorable (Php 4:8).  Is the environment that your band puts you in conducive to long-term faithfulness, or will it slowly tear you away from the Lord?  God tells us to watch the company we keep because it can corrupt us (1 Cor 15:33).  You said that you are backsliding – is the band environment part of the problem or part of the solution?

If you can faithfully ask yourself those questions, you will have your answer.