Is it okay to deceive someone if it is the only way they will even begin an open discussion with you (e.g. telling someone that you agree with or understand their values when you truly do not because you know that unless you tell them that, there will be no way they will have a constructive conversation with you)?

Sincerely,
Feigned Interest

Dear Feigned Interest,

It is never okay to lie (Rev 21:8), but you don’t have to lie to be diplomatic.  Jesus tells us to be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves when interacting with mankind (Matt 10:16).  Just because you disagree with someone doesn’t mean that you can’t kindly ask to understand their position.  Wise men seek understanding (Pr 24:3), and friendships are built by being honest and gracious with your words (Pr 22:11).

Trying to balance being gracious with being forthright can be tricky, but it is possible.  Learning to have our words “seasoned with grace” is a lifetime education (Col 4:6).

Hello, I watched a program on TV about this small African tribe.  The people of this tribe were amazingly kind and welcoming, but they didn't even know we have been to the moon or of Jesus.  They believed in different gods, and they were brought up that way from birth.  Their whole tribe is kind of separated from the rest of the world.  There has to be hundreds of these same kinds of situations out there; what happens to these people when they die?

Sincerely,
Hermit Helper

Dear Hermit Helper,

What God does with the African tribe that is isolated from society is between Him and them.  We know that God doesn’t hold people accountable for things that they cannot do (2 Cor 8:11-12).  We also know that He says all mankind is without excuse because the Creation speaks of His greatness (Rom 1:20).  We also know that God has a certain expectation that we will seek Him out (Matt 7:7-10).  All of these principles must be balanced out when considering the fate of isolated peoples.

Ultimately, the Lord is judge… a righteous one (2 Tim 4:8).  The Lord doesn’t desire any of the wicked to perish (Ezek 18:23).  He will fitly and properly judge all mankind.

According to 1 Corinthians 5:9, we are not to associate ourselves with sinful people; how are we supposed to try and help them if we shouldn't be hanging around them?

Sincerely,
Love From A Distance

Dear Love From A Distance,

In order to understand 1 Cor 5:9, we have to read the rest of the chapter.  Chapter five of first Corinthians is dealing with a christian who had decided to return to a wicked lifestyle (1 Cor 5:1).  Instead of rebuking this sinning brother, the Corinthian church was accepting his immoral lifestyle (1 Cor 5:2).  Paul was rebuking the congregation for not disciplining this wayward christian.  The church has the responsibility to discipline willfully sinning brethren – we do this by not associating with them until they repent (1 Cor 5:11).  This responsibility is only in regards to those who are within the church – not those outside of it (1 Cor 5:12-13).  God wants us to spend time with the lost, so we might win them to Christ (Mk 2:16-17).  We are to live in the world (1 Cor 5:10) as shining lights (Matt 5:14) to those who don’t know Christ.

I was wondering if there are any verses in the KJV about what to do when you are being used?  I vaguely remember reading that if you know you are being used to continue helping the person anyway.  Please help me with any information.

Sincerely,
Taken Advantage Of

Dear Taken Advantage Of,

There are multiple verses that deal with being mistreated as a christian.  Each verse addresses different circumstances.  The one you are talking about is in Matt 5:39-42.  Some other verses to consider are Matt 5:11-12, Jhn 15:20, 1 Cor 4:12, and Rom 5:3-4.

      Is the instruction in Hebrews 13, to be hospitable to strangers, given to the church or simply individuals?  If it applies to the church, how would one distinguish a Christian stranger from a non-Christian stranger since our benevolence is limited to Christians?

Sincerely,
Giving

Dear Giving,

It is true that as a congregation, a local church’s work is limited to caring for the needy Christians, but Heb 13:2 is a command to individual Christians.  There is a difference between what we can do as individuals and what we can do as the church united (for example, 1 Tim 5:9-11 says the church can only provide for the needs of certain kinds of widows, but we as individuals can take care of whatever type of widows we want). Hebrews 13 involves a lot of commands that clearly apply to individuals – like how to take care of your marriage (Heb 13:4).  The command to be hospitable and entertain strangers is an individual command that we all should personally heed.