5 minutes a day 5 days a week - a year of Bible Wisdom

I'm in a little bit of a dilemma.  I have a couple of friends who I love to death, but lately, I have been having second thoughts about them.  They're both seventeen years old and are already drinking quite a bit.  One of them is a pretty heavy smoker, and both of them smoke weed and get high when they aren't hanging out with me.  The heavy smoker also has sex a lot with a guy who doesn't even want a relationship with her.  Neither of them go to church, nor do they have the slightest interest in going, and whenever I try to talk about it, they start cussing about church.  When they're around me, they don't drink, don't smoke, try hard not to swear, and respect that I'm not into all of that stuff.  Like I said already, I love them to death.  They're two of my best friends and have been since middle school.  I was hanging out with them the other day and kind of started thinking they weren't the best people to be hanging out with.  I am a member of the church of Christ, and I was wondering if you could help me out with what I should do.  Thanks.

Sincerely,
Keeping Questionable Company

Dear Keeping Questionable Company,

When friendships begin to fall apart, it is a very painful thing, and that is why you are struggling right now.  Your life has taken a different course than theirs.  Your life is built on a different foundation, and those differences become more prominent the older you get.  You are at a crossroads and need to make a decision.  Here are some things to consider:

1. You may have heard the verse – “Bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Cor 15:33).  Right now, your friends are showing a certain level of respect for your spiritual and moral values, but that is changing.  As you said, they mock church and God and try not to swear (which means they do swear some of the time).  The more they continue to live ungodly lifestyles, the more that behavior will seep in.  If you continue to spend time with them, that behavior will influence you no matter how strong you are.  Solomon was the wisest man on the planet, and bad company turned him into an idolater (1 Kgs 11:4).  If it can happen to Solomon, it can happen to any of us.
2. You have tried to help them, but they aren’t interested.  It is a good thing for christians to befriend unbelievers and try to make a difference in their lives… Jesus did this (Matt 9:10).  However, when someone shows no interest in spiritual things, it is time to shake the dust off your feet – no matter how hard that may be.  Jesus said it best when He warned, “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before the swine lest they trample them under their feet and turn and rend you.” (Matt 7:6).
3. God tells us to obey our consciences… and your conscience is telling you something right now (Acts 24:16).  Your conscience is a gift from God.  Your conscience makes you feel bad when you are doing something you believe is wrong.  God tells us to always have a clear conscience (2 Tim 1:3).  Listen to your conscience; it is right on the money with this issue.

These verses don’t make it easy for you to make an exit from these friendships, but hopefully, that gives you some comfort that you will be doing the right thing.  What a blessing that the church has people like you that love the Lord even when it means making difficult decisions.

I know a person dealing with depression and bisexuality.  I need help on what to tell them on their path to the right way.

Sincerely,
An Encouraging Friend

Dear An Encouraging Friend,

We won’t pretend to be able to give you an entire lesson in counseling in a single post.  AskYourPreacher is simply not a good forum for that.  However, we can give you a few Bible verses that might be of comfort to your friend.

1. 1 Cor 6:9-11 points out that many christians have had the same struggles and problems… and they successfully conquered them.
2. Mk 10:27 says that all things are possible with God.
3. Some of the greatest people of the Bible have dealt with great sorrow and depression – read our post “I’ve Got The Joy, Joy, Joy” for examples.
4. A faithful congregation can make a huge difference in someone’s life because each member helps to strengthen the other members (Eph 4:16).  Encourage your friend to start attending a faithful church – we can help you find one for them (e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org).

5 minutes a day 5 days a week - a year of Bible Wisdom

5 minutes a day 5 days a week - a year of Bible Wisdom