5 minutes a day 5 days a week All the New Testament in a year

5 minutes a day 5 days a week All the New Testament in a year

My girlfriend and I are considering moving out together this summer; we aren't engaged yet but have talked about it, and we strongly feel that God has put us together.  We have been going to church a lot lately and trying to keep our life straight; we have never had sex and have agreed not to until we are married, and since we wouldn't be having sex, would it be a sin to live together?

Sincerely, Home Hunting

Dear Home Hunting,

Moving in together would be a sin as well as a temptation toward further sin. No matter how pure our intentions might be, two people of the opposite sex living together looks bad. Even if you weren’t actually sleeping together, nobody would believe you. God tells us to abstain from every form of evil (1 Thess 5:22). The word ‘form’ in that verse literally means “shape or appearance”. Christians need to not only avoid sin - but avoid looking like they are sinning. A boyfriend and girlfriend living together (no matter how chaste) looks like a sinful relationship. The Bible also tells us to do the things which are ‘honorable in the sight of all men’ (Rom 12:17, 2 Cor 8:21). Consider what living together before marriage does to the honor of your girlfriend. God wants you to do what is in her best interest and uphold her reputation and honor.

Secondarily, the temptation to sleep together will certainly grow with living together. There is nothing abnormal about a man and a woman being strongly attracted to each other. God recognizes that young people naturally are inclined to burn with passion for the opposite sex (1 Cor 7:9). The key is to make sure you don’t put yourselves in a position that could compromise your integrity. We are to ‘flee fornication’ (1 Cor 6:18) and be wise as serpents in regard to righteousness (Matt 10:16). Don’t set yourselves up to sin.

The idea of living together before marriage is a modern one - not a Biblical one. Biblically speaking, if you aren’t ready to get married, you aren’t ready to live together. The deepest act of love you could show to your girlfriend would be to wait until you are ready for marriage.

5 minutes a day 5 days a week All the New Testament in a year

What does the Bible say about two people sleeping in the same bed together if they aren't married but aren't having sex either?

Sincerely, Two In The Bed

Dear Two In The Bed,

If you are talking about two people of opposite gender who aren’t related to each other – you’ve got a problem. For the sake of brevity, I’m going to assume you aren’t talking about two brothers sharing a bed at Grandma’s house, or Great Aunt Bessie sharing a queen sized bed with Great Aunt Marge during a family reunion weekend. Everyone feels comfortable with those circumstances.

I’m guessing that you are asking whether or not two people who are of similar age and opposite gender can sleep (but not have intercourse) together. That situation isn’t honorable. God wants us to do that which is honorable in the sight of all men (Rom 12:17, 2 Cor 8:21). He also wants us to avoid all forms, which literally means ‘appearances’, of evil (1 Thess 5:22).

God tells us to treat young women as sisters and young men as brothers (1 Tim 5:1-2). Let me ask you...

1. Would you want a man sleeping in the same bed as your sister before they were married?
2. Would you advise your brother to sleep in the same bed as his girlfriend before they were married?
3. Would you want your son or daughter to sleep in the same bed with someone before they were married?

The advice we would give to our children and siblings is the same advice we should take ourselves. Flee immorality (1 Cor 6:18) and don’t put yourself in that situation.