Hi.  While my faith has recently been shaky, I'm happy to say that I am a whole-hearted believer in God.  My closest friend, however, is far from that which is something I've started to question God about.

She is very intelligent, especially in the sciences.  Actually, to be honest, we both are rather gifted in that area which is probably what brought us together.  But the most important thing that separates us is that she doesn't believe in God, and she has a lot of scientific evidence to back up her opinion.  I have my evidence too, but whenever the subject comes up, she refuses to talk about it, saying she's concerned she'll ruin my faith.  How do I reach out to a person like this?  It hurts me so much to see her live out her life with obvious gaps that only God can fill.

Any suggestions on how to direct my friend to the Lord without ruining our friendship?  She has developed something against religion recently, saying that it's just a tool used through history to give people power and reason to kill.  This really bothers me, but again, the friendship is so important to me, and I don't want to lose it.  At the same time, her salvation is also at least that important to me.  Thanks, and God bless.

Sincerely,
A Proven Friend

Dear A Proven Friend,

You are obviously dealing with a very intelligent person who has formed her own opinions… but without all the data.  What we normally do when studying with someone like this is to hand them a couple of books and tell them we would like to hear their thoughts after they are finished reading.  That has a two-fold effect:

1. It takes all wrangling over words out of the picture because it isn't an argument anymore... they are simply reading.
2. It shows you how serious they are about pursuing the subject.  If it is important, they will read and get back to you, but if it isn't important, the subject will just get dropped.  Either way, you can have a clear conscience that you tried to help.

In this circumstance, we recommend "Evidence That Demands A Verdict" by Josh McDowell (this book should address much of the argument of the Bible being used as a tool to hurt others).  We also recommend “Case For A Creator” by Lee Strobel to deal with the scientific arguments and “Has God Spoken?” by A.O. Schnabel (which addresses the internal evidence of the Bible’s supernatural origins).  That is our recommendation on the topic… less confrontation and more information.

     My husband and I were converted to Christianity almost six years ago.  I am grateful each and every day that we made that choice and have chosen to raise our kids up in the way of the Lord.  There have been many trials along the way, and I'm sure there will be many more to come.  However, as I am growing in the Word, I can see my husband take the "backseat" or "lukewarm" approach more and more often.  As my children are getting older, I think they are starting to catch on; this saddens me deeply.  I guess my question is: if you see someone "slipping away" and you've already made known your concern to them (and they get defensive whenever you make another attempt or effort), what do you do?  I guess in my "ideal Christian husband world" I would never have to send this because we would both be reading this and discussing these posts together... which I have recommended several times, and he sees me doing it all the time.

Sincerely,
Through Thick and Thin

Dear Through Thick And Thin,

Your situation is a difficult one and very hard to endure.  That feeling of being spiritually alone in your marriage is both trying and discouraging.  Here is the problem – there is nothing you can say to your husband that will make him want to change.  Since you’ve already talked to him before, you have seen how true that is.

Perhaps this is why the Bible says that the way a wife can change her husband is by her actions instead of her words.  1 Pet 3:1 says that a wife’s greatest tool against spiritual apathy in her husband is her own behavior.  1 Pet 3:1-6 outline the way a wife can make a difference, and it isn’t by taking over and forcing him to be spiritually active; it is by letting him lead the family but balancing that subjection with reverence for God.  This is a tricky thing to do!  Never compromise your own morals and spirituality, but allow him to lead in everything else.  This sort of meek and gentle behavior is God’s recipe for a wife to get to the heart of her husband, so he can be roused from his spiritual slumber.  This sort of behavior can prick your husband’s heart and also highlight for your children how important Christ is in your life.

Recently, my friend and I promised each other that if we saw the other turning away from God, we would speak up.  Basically, we promised to be each other’s support system and to encourage each other in God.  But I found out a few weeks ago that she has been sleeping with her boyfriend and some other similar things.  I would speak up, but she doesn't know I know because both her boyfriend and sister told me on accident; they thought she would have told me.  I know she is avoiding honesty because she thinks I will scold her and be disappointed.  I admit, I am disappointed, but I just wish she would be honest with me.  How do I handle this?  I don't want to cause fights by revealing to her who told me, but I want to be able to help her.  What do I do?

Sincerely,
A Concerned Friend

Dear A Concerned Friend,

If you know that a fellow christian is living a sinful life, you have a moral obligation to do something about it.  Christ says that we should privately confront one another (Matt 18:15).  If she repents, you have saved her soul (Jas 5:20).  Make it clear that you have honest and loving concern for her (2 Thess 3:14-15).  It is an act of love to entreat a fellow christian to turn from sin (1 Jn 3:18).  No matter how you came by the information, you have a responsibility to try and save your sister.

     TV is associated with a lot of sin, and it's addictive.  Do those two things make it wrong?

Sincerely,
Power Off?

Dear Power Off,

Television can be associated with bad things, and it can be associated with good things – it all comes down to how you use it.  Television is just a means of communication and gaining information.  Before television, it was radio, and before radio, it was books.  There is bad music to listen to and good music; there are bad books to read and good books.  It all comes down to wisdom.  God tells us to fill our minds with things that are good and true (Php 4:8).  Use that principle in the television shows you choose to watch.

5 minutes a day
5 days a week
1 New Testament in a year

There are 261 weekdays in a year, and there are 260 chapters in the New Testament. By reading one chapter, Monday through Friday, you will read the whole New Testament by the end of the year. The Daily Cup series is to help with that goal.

Happy Studying!

"The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup." -- Psalm 16:5

Click here for a pdf of the study schedule - CLICK HERE