Some believe that there is a waiting place after death.  My question is: IS there a waiting place, or since Christ came, do believers go right to heaven with the Lord?

Sincerely,
Biding My Time

Dear Biding My Time,

Within Hades, there are two areas where people wait for the final judgment. All of the faithful who die wait in the good part of Hades called ‘Paradise’ (2 Cor 12:4, Lk 23:43). All of the wicked who die wait in a part of Hades known only as ‘torments’ (Lk 16:23).

In Hades (‘Hades’ means ‘the unseen place’), all of the dead shall wait for Judgment Day.  Rev 20:12-15 points out that on the final Day of Judgment, all the dead will be permanently divided between heaven and hell.  Until then, the wicked that have died tarry like prisoners awaiting their court date.  They know their fate, but the final verdict is yet to be laid down.  Likewise, God’s people who have died are joyously comforted in Paradise, waiting for the day when they shall rise and be with the Lord forever (1 Thess 4:16-18).

The Bible tells us many times that God loves us.  So my question is: how could a God that loves us so much condemn anyone to eternal suffering in hell?  I believe that the vast majority of the world would say, "no" if you asked them if they are a christian.  By what the Bible tells us, that would mean that most people will go to hell.  It is very difficult for me to believe in a loving, caring God under those circumstances.  The parable of the sheep and goats is an even further discouragement.  Please help me out.

Sincerely,
That Fire Is Hot

Dear That Fire Is Hot,

God doesn’t condemn us to hell; He offers to save us from ourselves.  When God designed mankind, He made us in His image (Gen 1:26).  One result of that design is that all humans have eternal souls.  That is a positive thing.  God intended for Adam & Eve to never die and to always enjoy the blessings of fellowship with God in the garden (Gen 2:8).  Eden was a perfect situation, and it was our sin that destroyed that perfection.  Mankind sinned, and that sin causes us to die (Rom 6:23).  God gives us the freedom to choose to live or choose to sin; the fact that we all choose to sin is not His fault (Rom 5:12).  Heaven is a perfect place, and if God allowed sinful people into heaven, it would cease to be perfect.  Our actions and choices have condemned us.

God, however, wishes to save us from ourselves.  He sent His only begotten Son to die for our sins (Jhn 3:16).  He provided us with the Bible, which shows us the path to receive salvation (Rom 10:17, Rom 1:16).  We should not blame God for those who go to hell any more than we should blame a doctor when his patient refuses to take their medication.  It is true that many people will go to hell (Matt 7:13), but God doesn’t desire that any should perish (Ezek 18:23).  God sent us a Savior in Jesus Christ, even though we didn’t deserve it (1 Jn 4:14).

I have a friend, and he bounces back and forth with his spiritual beliefs.  At the present time, this person is intimate with his cousin.  I could explain the story, but the relevance I am looking for is Biblical.  Where in the scriptures does it talk about intimacy with cousins, family members, and so forth as wrong?  We grow up as kids being taught that it is wrong.  My friend thinks since he is not breaking any laws and they’re not having children, it is okay.  I know his motives are all wrong; it is all about the pleasure and selfish desires.  Please provide guidance and suggestions on how to approach this matter.  I am one who cares, but I also realize I am powerless.  What others do with their lives does not affect me… is it my business?

Sincerely,
My Family Tree Forks

Dear My Family Tree Forks,

In the New Testament, there is only one place that addresses the issue of fornication with family members.  1 Cor 5:1 mentions a man who had taken his father’s wife.  This verse wouldn’t condemn marrying a first cousin.  In fact, there aren’t any verses that would condemn that choice.  It may be socially unacceptable in America in this age (fifty years ago in America it was a fairly common practice), but it is not a sin.  The only intra-family relationships that are ever condemned in the Bible are relations among immediate family members (Lev 18:6-18).  The ordinance reaches as far as aunts and uncles, but it does not extend all the way to cousins.

However, this seems to be the least of your friend’s problems.  From what you have told us, he is committing fornication.  That is a sin no matter who is involved (1 Cor 6:18).  However, if your friend doesn’t care what the Bible says on that topic (and you have indicated that he doesn’t), you will be wasting your breath.  Don’t throw your pearls before swine (Matt 7:6).  Sadly, there is nothing you can do if he doesn’t want your help.

Is it okay for a woman to baptize someone that she has been studying with even if there are several men in her congregation?

Sincerely,
About To Go Under

Dear About To Go Under,

Everything we are taught about baptism emphasizes the person being immersed and not the one doing it.  Baptism saves you from your sin (1 Pet 3:21).  Baptism is a burial with Christ (Rom 6:4).  In order to be baptized, you must believe and repent (Mk 16:16, Acts 2:38).  All of these requirements address what is expected of and what happens to the person being baptized.  As far as we can tell, there are no qualifications given for who must do the baptizing.

Having said that, it is only fair to point out that the only examples we have in the Scriptures are of Christian men baptizing people.  It seems that this is an incidental point though, not a point of doctrine.  For many people, this is an issue of conscience, and if there is any doubt in your mind over this issue (whatever is not of faith is sin – Rom 14:23), the safest way to handle it is to have a Christian man do the baptizing.

What does the Bible say about men wearing their hair long?

Sincerely,
Hand Me The Scissors

Dear Hand Me The Scissors,

It is a sin for men to have long or feminine hair.  The apostle Paul states that men are supposed to have short hair (1 Cor 11:14).  Likewise, women are supposed to have long hair (1 Cor 11:15).  It is important to note that the word ‘long’ and the word ‘short’ are relative terms.  Something can only be long (or short) in relation to something else; depending upon the culture and fashion of the day, a man’s hair can be varying lengths and still be considered short.  If a man is bald, he has short hair; if his hair grows out an inch, it would still be considered short.

Men must have short hair and women must have long hair.  Another way to say this is that men must not have women’s hair, and women must not have men’s hair.  God designed men to look different from women, and it is a dishonor for a man to have long hair like a woman’s (1 Cor 11:14).  God designed women to look different from men, and it is a dishonor for a woman to have short hair like a man’s.  It is a sin for a man to dress or act effeminately (1 Cor 6:9) – just as it would be a sin for a woman to dress or act like a man (even in the Old Testament this was a rule – Deu 22:5).  Men should dress, act, and cut their hair in a masculine way.  Women should dress, act, and cut their hair in a feminine way.  Otherwise, they are rejecting the image and design God has honored them with.