Hello, my question is: what does the Bible say about marriages by the court and not in a church?  Does God see them the same?  IF a guy was once lost and got married in the court and is now pursuing a relationship with God and a relationship with me but hasn’t actually filed for divorce but has been separated for three years now... what do I do?  I’m lost....

Sincerely,
Off The Market?

Dear Off The Market,

This man is married – you shouldn’t be pursuing a relationship with him.  It is a common myth that a couple must be married in a church building in order for the marriage to be valid.  In reality, the Bible never gives a single example of someone getting married in a church building… church buildings as we know them didn’t really even exist in the days of the early church.  What matters is the marriage vow.  Marriage is a commitment between a man and a woman (Matt 5:33)… a solemn agreement recognized by God (Matt 19:4-6).  As you readily admit, this man is separated from his wife but still bound to her.  He is trying to have an adulterous relationship with you.  Honor his marriage and make it clear that you want nothing to do with defiling it (Heb 13:4).

I am at a crossroad of whether or not to obey the secular law.  I see more emphasis being placed upon the secular law that is being pushed down our throats than God’s moral law.  Where in the Bible does God or Jesus say to obey man’s secular law?

Sincerely,
Not Above The Law

Dear Not Above The Law,

In multiple places, we are told to obey the government.  Jesus said, “Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s” (Lk 20:22-25) when asked about paying taxes.  The apostle Paul said that we should obey the government, and he devoted Rom 13:1-7 to the subject.  The apostle Peter taught that we should obey kings, governors, etc. because they are sent by God to praise those that do well and bring vengeance upon those that do evil (1 Pet 2:13-15).  Peter made it clear that we should honor those that rule over us (1 Pet 2:17).  The only time that it is okay to break the law is if the government commands you to do something sinful (Acts 5:27-29).

How did people get married in Bible times?  Was it a large ceremony like the ones we have now?  I know the Bible tells us that unmarried sex is wrong, but I was just wondering how people went through marriage then; like, were they married by a preacher/pharisee?  What qualified them as being married in the eyes of God?

Sincerely,
Going To The Chapel?

Dear Going To The Chapel,

The Bible doesn’t say much about marriage ceremonies because they vary so much from culture to culture.  The only detail about marriage that the Bible mentions is the importance and the sanctity of the vows (1 Cor 7:39).  Marriage is meant for a lifetime, and the marriage vows carry the weight of lifetime promises (Mk 10:7-9).  The legal requirements for marriage will vary from one country to another.  God does tell us that we must obey the laws of the government (Rom 13:1-2, 1 Pet 2:13-14).  Make sure to not only make your vows before God, but also do what is right in the eyes of all men (Rom 12:17) by making sure the marriage is legally recognized.

What are your thoughts on a Christian taking a non-christian to court and suing them?  Is there ever an appropriate time?

Sincerely,
Plaintiff

Dear Plaintiff,

The Bible doesn’t forbid Christians from taking non-christians to court.  The only prohibition is against Christians suing other Christians (1 Cor 6:5-8).  However, Jesus cautioned Christians against being litigious people that try and take vengeance themselves (Matt 5:40, Rom 12:19-21).  In short, if at all possible, try and reconcile with people outside of court, and avoid the judicial system as much as you can (Matt 5:25-26).

Hi, preacher.  I have a question: I'm thinking about joining the army to help people in Iraq, and I know that the Bible says to love thy neighbor and not kill, but if I'm doing it for the greater good, would it be a sin if I were to be killed?

Sincerely,
In The Crosshairs

Dear In The Crosshairs,

There is nothing wrong with being a soldier.  The Bible is full of soldiers that were also very faithful people.  King David battled Goliath (1 Sam 17:48-50).  The first Gentile convert to Christianity was a Roman soldier (Acts 10:22).  Being a soldier and killing someone in battle is not the same as murdering someone in cold blood.  People don’t go to hell for being soldiers, but they do go to hell for being murderers (Rev 21:8).  If you died on the battlefield (hopefully that won’t happen), that would not destine you to eternity away from God.

We do recommend that you gravely consider the state of your soul and relationship with God before enlisting.  Being a soldier is a hazardous job, and it accentuates the need to be prepared to meet your Maker.  Please read “What I Must Do To Be Saved?” for more information on what God says we must do to receive salvation.