I have done something really wrong.  I was trying to fit in with the crowd.  I lost myself and I feel ashamed of myself.  I have joined a church, become a christian, and I want to know if God will forgive me for the sin I committed.

Sincerely,
Mortified With Myself

Dear Mortified With Myself,

God says that He finds more joy in one sinner returning to Him than in ninety-nine who don’t need to repent (Lk 15:7).  God also says that there should be no limit to forgiveness when someone repents (Lk 17:4).  When we turn back to God, He promises to show us mercy and to remember our sins no more (Heb 8:12).  It is very normal for us to still feel guilt when we dwell upon our previous lives of rebellion against God, but we can’t let that guilt consume us.  God forgives us; therefore, we can turn that guilt into gratitude (Rom 6:17).  If you repent, He is ready to forgive.

The most important step in forgiveness is to make sure that you properly obeyed God and have actually become a christian… many churches simply don’t teach what the Bible does regarding salvation.  This leaves people with the impression that they have obeyed God, but in actuality, they haven’t.  Let’s take the time to make sure you properly sought God’s forgiveness the first time.  We highly recommend you read “What Must I Do To Be Saved” and thoroughly examine whether you properly obeyed God the first time around.  If you did – WONDERFUL!  If you didn’t… now is the time to do things right.  If needed, we would be happy to direct you to a faithful, Bible-guided congregation near you.  Simply e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

(This post is a follow-up to the post “Set A Date”)

I saw your post about dating, but is it true that not every one is blessed?  I believe that not every one finds their love.  There are a lot of people out there without a wife or a husband.  I don’t believe that there is a girl or boy for everyone.

Sincerely,
Lone Star

Dear Lone Star,

Matt 19:12 says that there are three reasons that people decide to never marry.

1. They are born without a desire for marriage.
2. Life circumstances lead to their bachelorhood.
3. They choose to abstain from marriage so as to better serve God.

You are right that some people never get married.  Though the majority of people decide to, marriage isn’t necessary to serve God.

The other issue that you bring up is the idea that people have one right person for them to marry – a “soul mate”.  The Bible never teaches the idea that there is only one fish in the sea for each of us.  The Bible says a lot about how to find a godly spouse, but it never implies that there is only one right person for each of us.  If that were the case, it would be wrong to remarry after your spouse dies because you had already found “the one”, and any other marriage would be with someone that wasn’t your soul mate.

What are the general and specific qualities to the command "rejoice"? What are the boundaries by which I must confine my expression of joy and delight in the Lord?

Sincerely,
Bursting

Dear Bursting,

The word ‘rejoice’ means ‘to be glad’.  Php 4:4 says that we should rejoice at all times in Christ.  That is a blanket statement about the attitude we ought to have as christians.

However, you also asked a second question.  You asked what ways we are allowed to express that joy.  That is a separate issue.  Many religious groups break into all sorts of ludicrous behavior (shouting, wailing, rolling in the aisles, etc.) in the name of rejoicing.  In order to see what ways are appropriate to show our joy (especially during worship), you need to go to other verses.  A good article to read on worship is “Order Of Operations”.

Hey guys, you don’t know how much your answers mean to me.  I really appreciate it, and I have another question on my mind that burdens me a lot.  Does God test us, or does He allow us to be tested?  Is it something similar to temptation when He allows us to be tempted, but doesn’t tempt us?

Sincerely,
Trial Trouble

Dear Trial Trouble,

The Bible says that God never tempts us to do evil (Jas 1:13).  God never purposefully puts us in a situation with a desire for us to sin.  The devil wants to devour you with sin, but God never does (1 Pet 5:8).  However, God does put us in situations in order to find out what we are made of.  God tested Abraham when He asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac (Gen 22:1).  God put Abraham in a position where he could succeed or fail – but the key is that God wanted him to succeed (Gen 22:14-18).  Abraham was tried by God (Heb 11:17), so God could bless him.  God may put us in circumstances that are difficult, but His desire is always to benefit us.

On the other hand, the devil tempts us for the purpose of destroying us – just like he did with Jesus in the wilderness (Matt 4:1).  That is why God promises us that He will never allow the devil to tempt us beyond what we are able to handle (1 Cor 10:13).  The devil tries to set us up for failure, and the Lord tries to set us up for success.

How do you forgive yourself as God has forgiven you?

Sincerely,
Regretful

Dear Regretful,

What you are asking is one of the most difficult things in life ­– forgiving yourself.  Like all things, God is better at forgiveness than we are.  Many people hold on to the guilt and shame of sin far too keenly.  God tells us that there are several things to remember:

1. Even if your heart condemns you, God keeps His promises.  On the Judgment Day, we will be judged by God's standards, not whether or not we feel worthy (1 Jn 3:20).
2. We can reassure our own hearts that we have been forgiven when we study and live by the truth of the Bible (1 Jn 3:18-20).  The more we immerse ourselves in God's teachings, the quicker we begin to realize that forgiveness isn't about being worthy… but about having faith in the mercy of God.

All in all, self-forgiveness takes time... just like all areas of growth.