What should a woman do when she doesn’t cuss, but her husband does?  He will cuss me out, hurt my feelings, and blame everything that goes wrong on me.  I have threatened to leave, and that worked for about a few days.  I just don’t think he loves me as much as I do him, and I am just at the end of my rope.

Sincerely,
Miserable

Dear Miserable,

1 Pet. 3:1-3 says, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the Word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”

Sometimes, the best thing to do is also the hardest thing to do.  You can’t control his behavior, but you can control yours, and your behavior can win him over.  Don’t behave like he does.  Continue to watch your language, show him unearned respect, and live with pure conduct.  These things work on a man’s heart far more than fighting fire with fire.  Your kindness will heap burning coals upon him and is your best hope at turning his heart (Rom 12:20-21).

     Thousands of years ago, in many countries, continents, islands, etc., far away from Israel, how could inhabitants hear messages like Jhn 3:16?  Were they just out of luck because they didn't live in the area to hear it and died and went to hell?

Sincerely,
Logistically Implausible

Dear Logistically Implausible,

The Bible doesn’t tell us much about the Gentiles (a ‘Gentile’ is anybody that isn’t Jewish) that lived before Jesus or before Jesus' message covered the globe as it has now, but what little we do know tells us that God didn’t forsake them.  When God called Abraham out from amongst his people (Gen 12:1-2), everyone that wasn’t descended from Abraham became a ‘Gentile’.  The Old Testament follows the descendants of Abraham and God’s covenant with them; that is why there isn’t much said about the other nations that lived on this planet.  Here is what we know:

1. God praised and blessed honest Gentiles.  Melchizedek is called a ‘priest of God’ (Gen 14:18), and Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, was the priest of Midian (Ex 3:1) and worshipped God.  We don’t know exactly what arrangement God had with these men, but we know that they were pleasing to God and not a part of the Jewish nation.  Another great example of a godly Gentile was Cornelius.  God blessed and heard Cornelius’ prayers (Acts 10:1-4).
2. Some Gentiles were blessed by God through conversion to Judaism.  Rahab and Ruth were both Gentile women that turned to God by becoming Jews.  Both of these women are mentioned in the lineage of Christ (Matt 1:5).
3. We have a single statement in the book of Romans that hints at what kind of law the Gentiles were under.  Rom 1:14-15 says that the Gentiles had a law of conscience written by God on their hearts.  This doesn’t tell us much, but it does point out that God had a system for judging the Gentiles… it was just different than the system He used for judging the Jews.

All of this just gives a glimpse at the pre-Christian Gentile world, but it is enough to paint a picture that God had a plan to save those who lived far from Israel; we just don’t know exactly how it worked.

     My son is dying a horrible, long lasting death of ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease).  I have been a Christian my whole life and an active staff member in the church.  My whole spiritual world has been rocked by watching my son suffer day after day with nothing in sight except a horrible death.  My question is:  I have been taught my whole life that God answers prayers.  That is not true.  God can heal.  Yes, He can, but it is just a matter of whether or not He will.  God doesn't like to watch His children suffer.  Then why does He let us?

Sincerely,
Mad Mom

Dear Mad Mom,

We are so sorry for your son's suffering, and we cannot fathom the pain it has wrought for you as well.  Sickness is a consequence of Adam and Eve’s sin in the Garden of Eden.  One of the curses of their sin was that we all must face our own mortality – life is finite (Gen 2:17).  Sickness, disease, and pain are a part of the human existence.  Sadly, this is true even for our children.  When God gave us freewill, He gave us the right to cause problems for ourselves and others, and if He simply removed all the consequences for our actions, He would be removing our freedoms as well.

God could have made us without the freedom to choose, but then we wouldn’t be “in His image”… we would be automatons.  As a parent, you have seen how the freewill of our children can break our hearts sometimes, and it can be difficult to see your children hurt when they make choices that have painful consequences.  From scraped knees to heartaches, parents watch their children get hurt when they leave the nest and strike out on their own.  God has that same parental paradox (Heb 12:9-10) – the love to let us choose even when those choices have caused all sorts of problems for us.  Your son is suffering because of the diseases mankind’s choices have brought upon us.

     I would like to know when I will get married, and will it be with the guy I want to marry?

Sincerely,
Bride-To-Be?

Dear Bride-To-Be,

We are just men here at AYP and not prophets.  We can’t tell you the specifics of your life and future.  However, we can give you some principles for how to look for a spouse.  Read “Set A Date” in our archives for some of the Bible teachings on finding a spouse.

     My boyfriend and I started off the wrong way by living together before marriage.  We have taken that back a hundred fold, and we no longer live together.  However, after a year of living apart, it is extremely hard now!  We are struggling very badly right now.  He says I am not on the same spiritual level as him… though I am a believer in Jesus and the Word!  I am not, however, focused nearly as much as him in the Word.  He said he will not be unequally yoked again.  Because we argue still about me wanting him to spend more time with me and the kids, I am pulling him away from constantly being in the Word.  Am I supposed to forget life because he says there is nothing else to talk about?  Is it all about God, and we are only supposed to talk about Him?  Am I not supposed to talk about our future as a married couple or what our wedding will entail?  Now, because I am not 120% focused on just God, we are unequally yoked.  Is that true?  Am I wrong because I still desire to live life and talk about baseball and what the kids did at school and everything that life involves?  Am I really supposed to be so focused on God I forget all that is around me?  And if I am supposed to... how do I?  I love God, and I am so grateful for Jesus, and I study and learn more everyday.  I am very confused.  Are my boyfriend and I unequally yoked to the point that we should not be together any more?

Sincerely,
Confused

Dear Confused,

First of all, good for you for making changes in your lives and no longer living together before marriage.  You did the right thing, and though it is hard, remember how pleased God is with your choice (Lk 15:7)!

Now let’s deal with the “unequally yoked” issue.  The verse that talks about being unequally yoked is 2 Cor 6:14, and it is dealing with a believer being connected to an unbeliever – from what you have said, that is not your situation.  A ‘yoke’ is a ‘harness used to tie oxen together, so that they can pull a plow or cart’.  When God tells us not to be “unequally yoked” to an unbeliever, He is warning us not to put ourselves in a position where we are committed and tied to someone who doesn’t share our values.  The most poignant example of this is marriage.  If two oxen are yoked but they are pulling in opposite directions – disastrous things happen.

In your case, you both care about the Lord, but he seems convinced that caring about the Lord means that you neglect all other things.  God tells us the opposite.  If you two eventually get married, God says that married people must divide their time between caring for the Lord’s work and caring for each other’s needs and future (1 Cor 7:32-34).  This is a concept that your boyfriend isn’t grasping.  Show him 1 Cor 7:32-34, and then see what He says about “dividing” his time.