What is the role of a brother in Christ with regard to a sister in Christ who is not his wife, daughter, sister, mother, or any other female family member?  I'm a sister in Christ.  I don't want to be husbanded or fathered.  I just want a brother and a friend, not someone who is trying to manage my life like he does a wife or one of his children.  Shouldn't there be a difference?

Sincerely,
Not Yours

Dear Not Yours,

The Bible teaches that men in the church should treat women in the church like sisters and mothers (depending on their age).  Paul clearly says this in 1 Tim 5:2.  It isn’t the job of a Christian man to manage the lives of all Christian women – frankly, we’ve got enough work just taking care of ourselves!

We aren’t entirely sure what your complete question is, but it is possible for men and women in the church to have friendships, as long as they are careful to avoid anything inappropriate (1 Thess 5:2).  Both genders in the church are to seek healthy relationships with all Christians… whether male, female, young, or old.

The only people within a congregation who would have a responsibility to “manage” you would be the elders, who are given the task of watching over the saints (1 Pet 5:2).

     I have confessed to God, asked Him to come into my life and change me according to His will.  I have acknowledged my belief in Jesus' dying on the cross and also His blood cleansing/washing away my sins as well as Him being crucified on the cross and being resurrected on the third day.  But why don't I feel different?

Sincerely,
Numb

Dear Numb,

It is impossible to say why you (or anyone else) feel a certain way.  Emotions are fickle and can be deceiving.  Some people feel that they are saved when, in fact, they are lost (Matt 7:21-23), but whether our heart condemns us or not isn’t what saves us (1 Jn 3:19-21).  It is our adherence to God’s Word that saves us (Rom 1:16).  If you are doing what God says you must do to be saved, then you can have confidence regardless of how you feel (see “What Must I Do To Be Saved?” for further details).  Serving God is often an issue of doing what is right without regard to our emotions… showing bravery when we are afraid, working when we are tired, praying when we feel we aren’t heard, and persevering when we are discouraged.  One of Satan’s greatest tools to destroy us is that we often don’t feel as we ought, and sin has a way of numbing us to the truth of God’s Word (Heb 3:13).

     Is it okay to call people things like a hypocrite, liar, selfish, ignorant, stuck-up, bully, etc. under any circumstances?

Sincerely,
Piping Up

Dear Piping Up,

In almost all circumstances, it is wrong to call people these things because most of the time people use these words to lash out in anger and frustration.  God makes it clear that we shouldn’t do that (Matt 5:21-22).  Though it is okay to be angry, we should never sin in that anger (Eph 4:26).

There are times, though, that Jesus called people liars or hypocrites because they truly were, and they needed to be exposed for the greater good (Matt 23:13).  Jesus was careful to only use that sort of harsh language in the most extreme of circumstances and with only the most hard-hearted of individuals – we should follow His lead (1 Cor 11:1).

     I have a wife who is faithful to me.  She does not know about my secret relationship.  I also have a girlfriend who loves me, and I love her (she knows my situation).  She cannot keep going on like this in a part-time relationship.  Frankly, neither can I.  I have to make a decision to be with one or the other.  We (girlfriend and I) want to live right before God.  Can I leave my faithful wife, choose my girlfriend, and still live right before the Lord?  What would we gain?  What would we lose?  What must we do to make it right before God?

Sincerely,
Got To Choose

Dear Got To Choose,

No, unequivocally no!  You cannot leave your wife to start a new life with your girlfriend.  Marriage was designed by God to be monogamous, and the marriage bed should be undefiled (Gen 2:24, Heb 13:4).  What you are doing is wrong.  You are fornicating, defiling your marriage, and destroying this other woman’s life as well.

The only faithful way out of this sin is to break off your relationship with your mistress, flee fornication (1 Cor 6:18), and start being faithful to your already faithful wife.

[This question is in response to “Waiting Around”]

      Can you explain exactly what "our spirit" is (as you previously answered another inquirer regarding the spirit of a Christian separating from the body and going to Paradise).  Is the spirit our conscience?

Sincerely,
Jiminy Cricket

Dear Jiminy Cricket,

Your spirit is who you really are.  We are made in God’s image (Gen 1:27) – it is our spirit that is crafted in His image, not our bodies.  Jhn 4:24 says that God is spiritual, not physical.  God existed long before the physical world ever did (Gen 1:1).  Our spirits are fashioned after our Heavenly Father, and long after our bodies decay, our spirits will live on.
Your spirit is that part of you that truly is you.  It is more than your conscience; it is your soul – your very essence.  Your body is just a vessel to contain your spirit until the day you go to meet your God (Jas 2:26).