I am worried that my wife is getting burnt out.  We have always tried to involve ourselves in doing good work such as visiting the sick, helping the elderly, cleaning the church building, helping people get to worship who can't drive, etc.  It makes me feel good to do these things.  We have something going on just about every night after we get off work.  My wife said she feels overwhelmed.  My question is: as her husband, is it biblically wrong in any way if I tell her she could slow down?  We are members of the Lord’s church, and just like any congregation, few people are willing to do work.  It makes me happy to help, and I believe it makes the Lord happy.  I just don't want my wife to get burnt out.  Any suggestions or Scripture that may help?

Sincerely,
Concerned Husband

Dear Concerned Husband,

There is a time and season for everything.  Burn out is a real issue, and Solomon said that there is a time for everything – that would include a time to rest (Eccl 3:1-8).  It is good that you are workers in the church, and you shouldn’t stop working, but it may be time to pace yourselves.  After all, Christianity is an endurance race, not a sprint (Lk 21:19).  There is a season for everything, and your wife’s health and well-being must be factored in as you decide what level of work your family can handle.

     Hi, I saw your response to the "Guilty As Sin" posting today and found myself wondering: could a Christian plead down the charges to a crime then?  Say, if they plead guilty to a lesser charge, or is that lying as well?

Sincerely,
Unconvicted

Dear Unconvicted,

We aren’t lawyers, but our understanding is that “pleading down” the charges typically involves admitting to the crimes but asking that the sentencing be reduced due to extenuating circumstances.  Asking for leniency is not the same as denying that you committed the crime.

     I am a Christian separated from my husband who is also a Christian.  We have been separated for three years.  No unfaithfulness has been committed on either part, but there are issues that have not been resolved yet.  I have relocated to another state and am active in my church.  I was asked to accept a leadership role, and I did, but I recently stepped down because my husband said it is not biblical for me to be in leadership with our marriage the way it is.  Is this true?

Sincerely,
Separated

Dear Separated,

We are sorry to hear about your separation, but it sounds like you are handling it the way the Lord intends in such circumstances (1 Cor 7:10-11).  Here is the issue – we don’t know what church you are attending, but biblically there are no official leadership positions for women in the church.  Technically, the only positions of authority within the church are elders and deacons.  The qualifications for both elders and deacons require that they be men (1 Tim 3:1-12).  Any church that is creating leadership positions other than those found in the Bible is adding to the Word of God (Rev 22:18-19).

How do you know if you are getting a dream from God, and not just you or the devil?

Sincerely,
A Dreamer

Dear A Dreamer,

The days of dreams and visions have passed.  In the past, God spoke to various people through dreams, visions, and prophecy, but today He speaks to us through His Son, Jesus Christ (Heb 1:1-2).  Now that we have the complete and perfect Bible – there is no need for God to give people individual dreams or visions.  It is through the Word of God that we learn how to live faithfully (Rom 10:17).

We are sure that your dreams mean something, but they don’t mean anything supernatural or prophetic.  What you had was not a vision.  Prophets have visions, and there are no more prophets since we have the perfect and complete Word of God (1 Cor 13:8-10).  The human mind is a complex and wondrous thing (Ps 139:14).  It is perfectly normal for our minds to make mental connections as we pray, study, sleep, etc.  Those mental images aren’t visions; they are just your own thoughts as your mind meditates upon what you have said, read, or heard.

     How do I take comfort from God when my two adult children are suffering with drug addiction?  I have two sons who are throwing their lives away by way of drug addiction.  The youngest is in our county jail waiting to go back to prison.  My oldest is in Chicago Cook county jail awaiting a charge there.  I am constantly fearful for their lives.  If they do not accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, how can I ever have peace?  I see their self-destructive behavior, and I feel helpless.  I feel guilty as well.  Please, any advice would be helpful.  I must confess, I have been baptized but do not currently attend church.  I believe that may be the first step to helping me.  Sometimes, I read Scripture that helps give me strength, but lately, I feel lost.  Thank you for any help you may give me.

Sincerely,
Heart-Sick Mother

Dear Heart-Sick Mother,

We are so sorry for your grief and suffering.  How you feel is completely normal, and in fact, you might take comfort in reading one of our questions, "A Mother's Grief", written in by a mother who had similar sorrows from her grown children.

You asked us what you can do to take comfort in God... and you are right; going back to church is a big part of that.  God tells us that assembling with a faithful church encourages and strengthens us (Heb 10:24-25).  You can't change the past, and you can't live your sons' lives for them.  This is your reality now, and the best thing you can do for yourself (and for them) is to put your life on the right path.  We would be happy to help you find some wonderful, faithful congregations in your area if you'd like.  Not all churches are faithful, but we can help get you in contact with one that will help you draw near to God and heal.  Just e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.