We have several ministers at our church and, of course, our pastor.  Ministers in our church are people who have told Pastor that God has placed a call into ministry on their lives.  Then they gain the title from the pastor.  I am not a minister in the church, but, however, I married one of those ministers last November.  My question is... I'm not sure what is right for me to do as a minister’s wife.  The women of the church are always telling me that I need to be in all these groups; I need to be a part of this ministry and that ministry.  At this time, the pastor’s wife even put my name down to be a team member for our woman's conference, and I was never even asked if I wanted to be a part; then they put me in the food ministry, and I have worked in food since I was 12; I'm now 44 and told myself when I left the last job that pertained to food that I'd never do it again; I really dislike it.  My other problem is that I'm a people pleaser; God is working on me.  I also feel like I have to do what everyone expects me to do so I don't disappoint them or my husband.  I think my husband thinks like they do.  He’s been in that church for about 9 years, and I've only been there almost 2.  I believe in serving others, and I want to, but I'd really like to be able to do what I enjoy and not what everyone else thinks I need to do.  I've never been a minister’s wife, and I would just like some advice outside of our church from a godly perspective. Thank you, and may God bless you.

Sincerely,
The Minister’s Wife

Dear The Minister’s Wife,

Well, if you are a people pleaser, you are probably not going to be pleased with the advice we give.  Your problem is that you are part of a congregation that doesn’t do things God’s way.  You are dissatisfied and unhappy because what you are involved in is man’s religion, not God’s church.  Whenever we do things our way instead of God’s, we are bound for confusion and strife (1 Cor 14:33).  Several things to consider:

1. Your congregation’s leadership structure is wrong.  There is not a single example of a church in the New Testament that is led by a pastor… all of the congregations had multiple pastors (also known as ‘elders’) working together to shepherd the flock (Acts 14:23, Acts 20:17).  Your congregation’s future is directed by the attitudes and opinions of a single man.  Your direction is guided by him, instead of being tempered by the wisdom of multiple men guided by God’s Word (1 Pet 5:2).  Read our article “Elders” for further details on what a pastor should be.
2. You mentioned all of these different “ministries” of your church, including a food ministry.  It is our experience that the word ‘ministry’ has become a replacement for the term ‘social program’.  Social programs are designed to help the physical needs and desires of a community.  The church is the pillar and ground of the truth (1 Tim 3:15).  It is designed to uphold and further God’s Word, not every social program and community need.  Read our article “Blow Out The Candles” to understand why it is so important that we not stray from God’s work for His church.
3. Ministers are preachers.  They are men that have decided to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ (1 Thess 3:2).  It is not a title given to someone by a congregation’s pastor; it is a title earned by a lifestyle of teaching and preaching God’s Word to christians and unbelievers alike (1 Tim 4:6).  Paul was a minister because he served others and preached God’s Word to mankind (Col 1:23).  Being a minister’s wife is no different than being a plumber’s wife – no one expects a plumber’s wife to fix toilets.  These are manmade expectations being placed on you, not Biblical ones.

We recommend you start thinking about looking for a church that does things God’s way… a congregation without any attachment to manmade doctrines.  If you feel what we are saying is too harsh, we recommend that you ask your pastor about the things we have written and see how his answers match up.  You might also ask him some of the things mentioned in the article “Preacher Interrogation”.

I was going to give an offering to an online ministry.  I have said to myself that if this isn't what God wanted me to do, He would let me know. Well, I have checked on my balance from my account, and I just found out that my offering didn't go through.  Is this a sign that God doesn't want me to give even though I gave it two weeks ago?  I don't have much money left, and I don't know what to do.

Sincerely,
Give Or Live

Dear Give Or Live,

We here at AYP think in general people should give more, not less – but in this circumstance, we lend toward saying, “Don’t give.”  We cannot be adamant either way, but here are the Scriptures that come to mind in your circumstance:

1. You prayed about it, and it hasn’t worked out.  God says that if we pray for wisdom, He will provide (Jas 1:5).  Ultimately, the only exact knowledge we will ever get is from God’s Word (Rom 10:17, Rom 1:16).  However, it would be foolish to say that God doesn’t answer prayers and affect our lives providentially.  The fact that your gift didn’t go through isn’t definitive proof, but it would give us pause as well.
2. Online ministries are rarely Biblical.  I’m sure we will receive a flood of e-mails telling us how wrong we are on this point, but realistically, televangelists, online ministries, and the sort are made up of people who want to itch ears and tell people what they want to hear, so that they can get to their purse strings (2 Tim 4:3-4).  Beware of false teachers who come to you in sheep’s clothing (Matt 7:15).  There are many other, more specific ways that you can help others without getting mixed up with charlatans.
3. You mentioned that you don’t have much money left.  God expects us to give liberally, but He also doesn’t hold us accountable to give something we don’t have to give (2 Cor 8:12).  If you have to decide whether you will have enough money to eat or whether you will give – it is probably time to take care of the needs at home first.  On the other hand, be careful that you don’t define ‘wants’ as ‘needs’ and only give what you have left over.  All giving should be a sacrifice (Lk 21:1-4).

Ultimately, you must decide for yourself what you ought to do in this circumstance… but those are some Scriptures to consider as you make your decision.

Some of my friends take missionary trips to third-world countries; when they talk about going, I don’t really know how to respond. I am not entirely certain about the Bible's stance on missionary trips as well as how to explain why I am not participating in them. Furthermore, is there a better term for those individuals who go to a country like China for three weeks and spread the Word as best they can? Pretty much, what is a standard missionary trip, and what does the Bible say about them?

Sincerely, Savvy Traveler

Dear Savvy Traveler,

Paul’s life was dedicated to the “mission field”, and yet Paul would roundly condemn what poses for “missionary work” in today’s religious communities. It is important to note that the term ‘missionary’ is never found in the Bible; it is a modern term, not a Biblical one. The word ‘missionary’ was originally used to refer to a preacher who went on a ‘mission or assignment’ to preach the gospel in foreign lands. This is completely Biblical. In this sense, Paul was an excellent missionary (but, again that is term coined by men, not the Bible). God Himself sent Paul on a mission to preach to the Gentiles (Acts 9:15). Paul believed it was his solemn duty to bring the gospel to parts of the world that had not yet received it (Rom 15:20-21).

Unfortunately, when people talk about going on ‘mission trips’ today, they rarely are using the term to refer to evangelism. Today’s churches normally use the phrase ‘mission trip’ to refer to trips where people go and build houses, roads, etc. for the impoverished in third world countries.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with showing kindness to the less fortunate. God commends individual Christians for helping others who are in need (Jas 1:27). However, it is wrong for a congregation to take on the work that belongs to us as individuals. The church’s job is to evangelize and teach people, to feed their spiritual needs. Many, many churches have substituted spiritual work with physical work. This is wrong. Christ said that we will always have the poor with us, but spiritual matters are of greater importance (Matt 26:11). The religious world as a whole has stopped evangelizing and become focused on civic duties and community welfare. Many churches care more about soup kitchens and daycare programs than they do about bringing people the Word of God.

So if a church is on a mission to help people, by all means, they should go preach the Word. That is the need for which every soul really hungers and thirsts… and the need that God’s church is designed to satisfy.

James 5:14 talks about praying for someone who is sick and "anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord."  I frequently hear of people praying for the sick today, but I've never seen the elders of a church anoint a sick person with oil. Why don't we continue this practice today?

Sincerely, Olives On My Mind

Dear Olives On My Mind,

Anointing with oil was a medicinal practice to remove pain and speed up the healing of a sick person. Olive oil was used in the first century for everything from food to alleviating sunburns. We have to understand the statement in the context of the culture in which it was written. A first century christian would have understood James 5:14 as a call to prayer and a call to make sure the medical needs were taken care of for the ill person.

It is very similar to an earlier statement by James concerning faith and works. In Jas 2:14-17, James addresses the problem of a person that offers kind words without doing what they can to help another. An elder that prayed for a sick christian but didn’t use his authority within the church to get the needy person the necessary medical attention would have been neglecting his duties to shepherd the flock (1 Pet 5:2). Today, we don’t use olive oil to meet people’s medical needs, but the principle of doing what we can to care for them still applies.

Did the first century church celebrate special events that commemorated each person's journey of faith?  In several Christian denominations, there are events like that called 'sacraments'.  I am wondering specifically about the sacrament of marriage and how it fits into the first century church and also what the Bible says is proper practice for this type of event.

Sincerely, Practices Made Perfect

Dear Practices Made Perfect,

The Bible doesn’t have any sacraments – but it does teach there are some important events in a christian’s life.The term ‘sacrament’ is not a Biblical word - it is a Catholic one.The Catholic Encyclopedia describes ‘sacrament’ thusly:

Noun, a visible sign of an inward grace, esp. one of the solemn Christian rites considered to have been instituted by Jesus Christ to symbolize or confer grace: the sacraments of the Protestant churches are baptism and the Lord's Supper; the sacraments of the Roman Catholic and Greek Orthodox churches are baptism, confirmation, the Eucharist, matrimony, penance, holy orders, and extreme unction. (Catholic Encyclopedia)

Using that definition, we could loosely say a sacrament is equivalent to an event that is commanded by God for every christian to partake in.There are some scheduled events like that in the Bible:

• Baptism to become a christian (Rom 6:4)
• weekly observance of the Lord’s Supper (Acts 20:7)
• weekly contribution (1 Cor 16:1)

These are the only things even remotely close to a ‘sacrament’ (although that still isn’t a Biblical term) ever seen in the New Testament church.Marriage wouldn’t be on that list because marriage is not required of every christian.

This does not mean marriage isn’t instituted by God.  It is - as early as Adam and Eve (Gen 2:24).God has never laid down specific rules for the marriage ceremony.  He has left those details up to individual cultures.God’s concern has always been about how we act within the sacred bonds of matrimony (Col 3:18-19).  He leaves the 'wedding feast' to our discretion.