How do you feel about letting the Pastor know that some people he has in leadership - worship leading and youth group - are drinking alcohol on the side while posting their publicly drunken pictures on the internet? Would it be wrong to bring this to his attention? I might add that this couple is in the "Pastor’s clique." This has been something breaking my soul, knowing that these people have been on stage lifting their hands, praising God on Sunday, and teaching impressionable teens who have access to these pictures -- then they are in bars and at parties on Saturday night. Am I sinning knowing it's happening and saying nothing? Pastors shouldn't even have "circles or cliques", right? Please pray and help. I am broken.

Sincerely, Caught In The Middle

Dear Caught In The Middle,

Yes, you must say something about it. For the sake of addressing the main purpose of your question and not getting distracted, we aren’t going to deal with the issue that your congregation is led by a single pastor, but we recommend you read “Elders” to better understand the problem of a congregation being led by one man. After that, ask your pastor where in the Bible he can find an example of a congregation being led by a single pastor.

Back to the topic, though. Your specific question dealt with whether or not to say something when you know someone else is sinning. If you know there is sin in your congregation, you must address it. Paul condemned the Corinthians because they allowed someone to flagrantly live a life of sin and remain amongst them (1 Cor 5:1-2). God tells us that if our brother sins, we must confront him privately (Matt 18:15). If that doesn’t work, bring one or two others with you and confront him again (Matt 18:16). If that still doesn’t work – bring it to the leadership of the congregation, and if he still won’t repent, then the congregation is to withdraw from him (Matt 18:17). You have a responsibility to make the sin known for the sake of the person’s soul and for the sake of the spiritual health of the others that they influence.

Some sins we commit when we act the wrong way, and sometimes we sin because we failed to act. If you know someone is openly sinning (and especially if you have evidence, like in your case), you must act. God requires it of you, and if the congregation won’t act as God intends… I recommend reading “Finding A Church”.

A while back, we had been talking about forgiveness and how you should keep forgiving people. What if they keep doing the same things to you and really aren’t sorry. How are you supposed to forgive then?

Sincerely, Hard To Forget

Dear Hard To Forget,

It is true that christians must forgive all other christians, but there is a difference between forgiveness and trust. David forgave Saul for trying to kill him, but David didn’t trust Saul after multiple attempts on his life (1 Sam 26:21-25). When we forgive someone, we no longer hold the debt of their sin against them (Matt 6:12); this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t use wisdom in our dealings with them (Matt 10:16).

Christians often forgive people for things they haven’t repented of yet. Stephen asked that God forgive the people that were stoning him (Acts 7:60). Jesus, our Lord, did the same thing as He hung on the cross (Lk 23:34). But in both cases, it is safe to say that the people they forgave weren’t trustworthy. Their forgiveness opened the way to the possibility of a healthy relationship over time. We must follow their example. You don’t know whether the person is truly sorry, whether they are trying to grow, or what problems or trials they are going through. God is the final judge of their character and faithfulness. You can and should always treat people with kindness and generosity no matter how they have treated you.

Continue to forgive and keep yourself from bitterness (Heb 12:15), but feel free to protect yourself from harmful relationships.

My dad used to say that the USA is and has been historically so blessed because we are a Christian nation.  Is this supported by the Bible?  Would the inverse be true then, that non-Christian nations suffer as a result?

Sincerely, National Interest

Dear National Interest,

All nations are blessed or cursed based upon their adherence to God’s will. Blessed is the nation whose God is Jehovah (Ps 33:12). God blessed Israel when it obeyed Him, and He cursed it when the people departed from Him (Deu 11:26-28). There are times when God raises up and blesses wicked nations, for a time, to do His bidding… but eventually, they too are destroyed if they remain wicked. Babylon is a great example of this principle (Hab 1:6, Jer 25:12).

When a nation puts God first, it receives blessings from His hand. When that nation sins against God, it is punished. Righteousness exalts a nation; sin is a reproach to any people (Pr 14:34). America was founded upon Bible principles, and many of the founding fathers are quoted placing their trust in God and the Bible. That trust and national loyalty to God are what exalted the United States over the past 233 years. Unfortunately, it is universally agreed upon that the America of today does not care about Bible principles as our forefathers did. Unless we repent, we will continue to suffer the reproach of becoming an ungodly nation.

God punishes nations that turn against Him in many ways. In Amos chapter four, God tells Israel several ways He disciplined them in order to get them to return to Him.

1. Famine and economic turmoil (Amos 4:6)
2. Natural disasters such as drought and flooding (Amos 4:7-8)
3. Disease (Amos 4:9)
4. War (Amos 4:11)

It doesn’t take long to see some of the parallels in our nation’s recent history. America, like all nations, will only find lasting peace and prosperity through serving God.

My grandchildren have told me several times that one of their friends uses some by-words that sound pretty bad. They also said that the parents use these words, so the friend thinks the words are okay. The words used also included a racial slur. Since these people are christians, and I am sure this is not appropriate language, what, if anything, can these young people say to their friend about the language without upsetting the parents?

Sincerely, Watch Your Mouth

Dear Watch Your Mouth,

By-words or euphemism are used today as “soft” swearing. Instead of actually using a four-letter word or the Lord’s name in vain, people will alter those words (often by only changing a letter or two) to expressions more socially acceptable. The problem is that the meaning still remains the same. It is very similar to when television stations bleep-out bad language – everyone still knows what was intended.

Christians are supposed to avoid all unwholesome speech and crass language (Eph 4:29). Our language should always edify and build up other people. This is exactly why euphemisms and by-words are bad for christians to use. The euphemisms have the same intent as the ‘swear’ words. We should always talk in such a way that we impart grace and goodness to those who listen (Col 4:6). Secondarily, euphemisms give enemies of the gospel an opportunity to condemn christians. When we use by-words, our enemies can argue that christians are only using a language loop-hole; the intent behind our words is the same. Paul tells us to carefully watch our language, so that we never give enemies of Christ the opportunity to condemn us (Tit 2:8).

As for what your grandchildren can say to their friend… not much can be said. They can always request that their friend not use words like that around them and then explain why. You can remind your grandchildren that a true friend won’t use words to purposefully offend. Even if the friend will stop out of respect for your grandchildren, it is a step in the right direction. Unfortunately, euphemisms are so common amongst God’s people that it will take a lot of teaching and time to rid christians of the habit.

There is a 'new' idea floating around that after a non-christian dies, they simply cease to exist. For them, there will be no eternal hell; they will only be destroyed on the Day of Judgment because God is a compassionate God and wouldn't allow the lost to suffer eternally.  I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this, but since it is floating around the churches, I just want to make sure I'm not missing something here.

Sincerely, Oblivion Oblivious

Dear Oblivion Oblivious,

Hell is a real place that you really don’t want to go to. The whole idea of the wicked simply ceasing to exist is conjured not from the Scriptures - but from the mind of man. Consider these verses:

1. The story of Lazarus and the rich man makes no sense without hell (Lk 16:20-24). Jesus would effectively be telling a scary myth in order to terrify people into going to heaven even though what happened to the rich man wasn’t true.
2. The wicked go to a place where the fire burns, but the worm never dies (Mk 9:47-49)
3. At the judgment the wicked shall go to where there is ‘everlasting punishment’ (Matt 25:46).
4. There are various degrees of judgment in hell (Lk 12:46-48). This makes no sense if hell is nothing more than oblivion.
5. A false teacher incurs a stricter judgment (Jas 3:1). Once again, what is ‘stricter judgment’ if hell doesn’t exist?

The false doctrine of ‘oblivion’ has cropped up amongst God’s people from time to time for many, many years. It never survives very long because it has no basis in Scriptural fact.