Hi, I had a kidney transplant six years ago, and I am doing fine now.  I have been a faithful servant of God for many years, but I am afraid to go out there and share His good news because I am afraid of one question because I don't know how to answer it: if you have been a faithful christian and if God says He loves you, why didn't God heal YOUR OWN kidneys, so that you didn't have to go through all that dialysis, suffering, and the transplant?  How should I answer this question?  I really don't know the answer.

Sincerely,
On The Mend

Dear On The Mend,

God doesn’t heal everyone’s problems miraculously because there is a purpose to suffering.  As you probably know, after going through difficult struggles, we learn things we could have never learned without those trials.  That is why Paul tells us to rejoice in tribulations because they increase our perseverance and hope (Rom 5:3-5).  The apostle Paul had physical infirmities, and he asked God to heal him; God’s answer was, “No.” (2 Cor 12:7-9)  Eventually, all of our bodies will succumb to sickness and death (Eccl 7:2).  What are important are the lessons we learn between birth and death.  All christians will suffer (Acts 14:22); it is how we react to the suffering that matters.

Is it appropriate for a pastor of a church to restrict a congregation member from working in the ministry with an associate pastor (of the opposite sex) because of people’s perception of their friendship?

Sincerely,
Heartsick

Dear Heartsick,

Without dealing with the issue of titles like ‘associate pastor’ (please read “Switching Departments” for more details on church leadership), let’s see if we can break down your question.  Is it appropriate for an elder/pastor to restrict a man and a woman from working closely together in the church because they are giving too intimate of a “vibe” to everyone else?  Yes.  In fact, it is the elders’ job to protect your reputation and your souls from bad situations (Heb 13:17).  Included in Heb 13:17 is the fact that you should trust their judgment and realize that whether you see it or not, there is something unhealthy about your current relationship.  1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9 lay out the qualifications for becoming a pastor/elder.  One of those qualifications is sober-mindedness.  An elder is an older man that has proven that he has experience and wisdom to offer.  If he is saying that your friendship has the form and appearance of evil (1 Thess 5:2)… take him seriously.

Are the people who protest against abortion and homosexuality wrong in the way that they go about protesting?  I understand that these things are sinful in God's eyes, but aren't people wrong by making them feel attacked?

Sincerely,
End Doesn’t Justify The Means

Dear End Doesn’t Justify The Means,

It would be wrong to physically attack someone while protesting (two wrongs don’t make a right – Rom 12:17), but it should also be noted that very few abortion and homosexuality protestors are violent.  Abortion is murder (Rom 1:29-32), and homosexuality is a sin (Rom 1:26-27); christians should oppose these with every fiber of their beings.  Violent protestors receive a lot of coverage in the mainstream media, but what isn’t covered are the thousands of peaceful and honorable protestors who are simply trying to stand up for the innocent lives of the unborn and the sanctity of marriage.  Unborn children have souls and are distinct people (Lk 1:44) and marriage is the bedrock of all healthy civilization (all the way back to Adam and Eve – Gen 2:24).  Yes, violent protesting is wrong, but be sure not to paint all protestors with the same mass-media tainted brush.

Can one christian cause or contribute to another christian’s wrongdoing… or dishonor that person’s mother and father and convince that person that what they are doing is right… and if it was wrong, would God let that person know?

What does the Bible say about this matter?

Sincerely,
Who’s To Blame?

Dear Who’s To Blame,

The Bible says to work out your own salvation with fear and trembling (Php 2:12).  You cannot control what your relatives, friends, neighbors, etc. tell you or choose to do themselves.  All you can do is control yourself.  Eventually, everyone will be held accountable for the decisions they make in their lives (Heb 9:27).  The key is to make sure that you live as the Bible teaches... you can't control everyone else.

[This question is a follow-up to “A Thanksgiving To Remember”]

Why is it so important to apologize to others?  I know it is important to apologize to God… but other people when they do you wrong also?  Why can't others just forget about it, sweep it under a rug so to speak?

Sincerely,
Get Over It

Dear Get Over It,

It is important because God says it is important (Lk 17:4).  Confessing our sins to one another is part of the growth process that God expects us to go through (Jas 5:16).  Heb 10:24 says that we need to consider one another… and that is part of what apologizing is.  An apology shows that you have considered the feelings of the other person after you have wronged them.  Admitting we are wrong is a sign of maturity and humility (Matt 23:12).  Love seeks the benefit of the other person (1 Cor 13:5) – apologizing helps those we have hurt to heal.