My grandchildren have told me several times that one of their friends uses some by-words that sound pretty bad. They also said that the parents use these words, so the friend thinks the words are okay. The words used also included a racial slur. Since these people are christians, and I am sure this is not appropriate language, what, if anything, can these young people say to their friend about the language without upsetting the parents?

Sincerely, Watch Your Mouth

Dear Watch Your Mouth,

By-words or euphemism are used today as “soft” swearing. Instead of actually using a four-letter word or the Lord’s name in vain, people will alter those words (often by only changing a letter or two) to expressions more socially acceptable. The problem is that the meaning still remains the same. It is very similar to when television stations bleep-out bad language – everyone still knows what was intended.

Christians are supposed to avoid all unwholesome speech and crass language (Eph 4:29). Our language should always edify and build up other people. This is exactly why euphemisms and by-words are bad for christians to use. The euphemisms have the same intent as the ‘swear’ words. We should always talk in such a way that we impart grace and goodness to those who listen (Col 4:6). Secondarily, euphemisms give enemies of the gospel an opportunity to condemn christians. When we use by-words, our enemies can argue that christians are only using a language loop-hole; the intent behind our words is the same. Paul tells us to carefully watch our language, so that we never give enemies of Christ the opportunity to condemn us (Tit 2:8).

As for what your grandchildren can say to their friend… not much can be said. They can always request that their friend not use words like that around them and then explain why. You can remind your grandchildren that a true friend won’t use words to purposefully offend. Even if the friend will stop out of respect for your grandchildren, it is a step in the right direction. Unfortunately, euphemisms are so common amongst God’s people that it will take a lot of teaching and time to rid christians of the habit.

5 minutes a day 5 days a week All the New Testament in a year

5 minutes a day 5 days a week All the New Testament in a year

Relating to your post, "Judas in a Handbag", you state that there are various degrees of judgment in hell. I was under the impression that hell is hell. Am I right in interpreting this as: someone that had the opportunity to obey the gospel and doesn't will be punished more than someone that had never been exposed. Isn't it our own responsibility to seek the truth for ourselves? Can you elaborate on these verses a little more?

Sincerely, Equality For All

Dear Equality For All,

There are varying degrees of judgment in hell. That is the only way to interpret the idea of ‘heavier judgment’. Jas 3:1 talks about the idea of heavier judgment for teachers. Heb 10:29 talks about those who fall away from the gospel receiving a ‘sorer punishment’. Heb 6:8 states that saints who have fallen away are rejected and ‘cursed’. The general principle seems to be that if someone has had more opportunity to obey the gospel, they will be all the more condemned if they still fail to turn to God. This matches the principle Jesus lays forth in Lk 12:47-48.

Everyone is without excuse on the Day of Judgment, for all have sinned (Rom 3:23). Also, every human has evidence of God in His creation (Rom 1:20). All those who go to hell will be there rightfully… but how much greater the suffering if you had opportunity after opportunity to serve God, and you chose rebellion instead?

5 minutes a day 5 days a week All the New Testament in a year