After you get saved, what happens to you if you still commit the same sins?  Will I still be allowed into heaven?  And how can I know that I am truly saved?  A friend told me that when I got saved, it could have been just “a dose of feel-good”.

Sincerely,
Feeling Bad

Dear Feeling Bad,

You can know you are saved if you do the five things that the Bible tells you that you must do to be saved.  Read our post “Five Steps To Salvation” for exactly what it takes to be saved.  Furthermore, if you don’t know what it takes to be saved, it is likely that you haven’t found a faithful church yet.  Heb 10:24-25 teaches that we must assemble with a faithful church to please God; we would be happy to help you find one in your area; just e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

Once you are saved, God says that all future sins are dealt with by asking for forgiveness (1 Jn 1:9) and repentance (Acts 3:19).  ‘Repentance’ means to ‘change your mind’… literally to make a change in how you think and act.  God doesn’t expect us to live perfect lives, but He does expect us to try and turn from sin.

     Is it okay to have fond memories of something you did that was less than god-like?

Sincerely,
Reminiscent

Dear Reminiscent,

The Bible tells us that if we love God, we will hate evil (Ps 97:10).  Part of molding our hearts to become the kind of people God wants us to be is to learn to love good and hate wickedness (Amos 5:15).  Even if that sin might have been enjoyable in the past, the lusts of the world shouldn’t find room in our hearts anymore (Rom 13:14).

     I need clarity... if you have a calling in your life and haven’t answered it, is it the same as making a vow and not keeping it?  I’m confused; is God asking you to make a vow when you are called, and is there a penalty for not doing so?

Sincerely,
Not Picking Up

Dear Not Picking Up,

The confusion you are having is probably because it sounds like you think that God directly speaks to people and “calls” them to do different things… that isn’t the case.

The way that God gives us instruction about life is through the Bible (Rom 10:17, Rom 1:16, 2 Pet 3:21).  The days of prophecy and God speaking directly to people have passed away, and now, He speaks to us through the words of His Son (Heb 1:1-2).  If God commands us to do something in the Bible, we must do it (Jhn 15:14).  If we make a promise to do something, we must do it (Matt 5:37).  But if you have a feeling that you should do something or you are trusting in what you perceive is God’s voice calling you to act a certain way – there is no obligation to act because it isn’t God.

     Just because it says that husband is the ruler of me, does that mean he can boss me around and make all my decisions for me?  Does it mean I can’t make any decisions on my own or speak what’s on my mind?  Does it mean I’m not allowed to do anything on my own because my husband is in charge?

My husband says he's in charge of everything, but I don’t think that’s what the Bible means when it says he's my master in this marriage.

Sincerely,
Mad Mrs.

Dear Mad Mrs.,

It sounds like your husband isn’t doing a good job of following his marital responsibilities to love his wife – so the way you win him over is by following your marital responsibilities.

A wife is to respect her husband (Eph 5:24).  She shows him respect even if he doesn’t deserve that respect.  She chooses to let him lead the household regardless of whether he is good at it.  As long as his decisions do not force her to disobey God (Acts 5:29), she follows him.  She treats him as a man and honors him as head of the household even when he acts petty and small.  Her respect is unconditional.  It isn’t about not speaking your mind or having your own thoughts; it is about an attitude that shows him honor, which feeds his soul.

In like manner, husbands have the command to “love your wife” (Eph 5:28).  A husband is to love his wife as his own body regardless of whether she is being respectful and kind.  A husband’s love is not dependent upon a wife’s respect.  Biblical love (best described in 1 Cor 13:4-8) is a choice, not a feeling.  A loving husband chooses to do that which is in the best interest of his wife.  He seeks to love his wife as Christ does the church (Eph 5:25).  A husband’s love is sacrificial; it is a gift he chooses to give unconditionally.

Each spouse has their own job.  You cannot force the other spouse to behave one way or another, but you can win them over by your behavior (1 Pet 3:1).  Right now, from the sounds of it, your husband is treating you in a deeply unloving way; that is wrong.  However, what you can do is treat him with respect, and the Lord will bless your efforts.

     I have concerns with so many different opinions that people in the church have because, sometimes, those opinions aren't spoken very humbly.  How do I deal with or respond to these situations in a respectful and godly way?  This is especially true with a couple of younger mothers who are VERY passionate about how they want things handled.  Thanks for your help!

Sincerely,
No More Free Advice

Dear No More Free Advice,

It is important to remember that how others behave isn’t your concern; it is how you behave that counts.  An extreme example of this is that you can’t control how your enemies behave, but you can still love them (Lk 6:27).  In the church, where we aren’t enemies, people are bound to disagree, but we can find peace if we show love in all circumstances.

Paul told Timothy to treat older women with the same respect as you would your mother and treat younger women with the level of equality you would a sister (1 Tim 5:1-2).  We don’t have to agree with everything that others say, but if we make sure that our words are always gracious, we can find peace… even in our disagreements (Col 4:6).