I have a question about the Holy Spirit.  I know in the Bible that it says to deny the Holy Spirit is an eternal sin.  Does this mean that if I have ever said that the Holy Spirit does not exist – even after I have been saved (I had a falling out) – that I will go to hell?  I'd like an answer because I'm not in full understanding of what Jesus meant.

Sincerely,
Trying To Fall In

Dear Trying To Fall In,

The unforgivable sin is the sin against the Holy Spirit, and the fact that you are visiting this website is a pretty sure sign that you haven’t committed it.  Jesus says that any sin will be forgiven except for someone blaspheming the Holy Spirit (Mk 3:28-30).  Jesus said this to the crowd that accused Him of casting out demons by the power of Satan (Mk 3:23).  That crowd could have been forgiven of any sin, but instead they rejected the miracles that testified that Jesus was from God.  Contrast that crowd’s attitude with Nicodemus’ attitude.  Nicodemus understood that the only way that someone could perform a miracle was if God was with him (Jhn 3:2).  When that crowd rejected the evidence that the Holy Spirit provided (in this case, the miracles), they rejected any chance to receive the forgiveness found in Jesus’ teachings.  When we reject the truth of God (the Bible), we reject the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit’s primary job is to bring the truth of the gospel to mankind (see the post “What the Holy Spirit Does” for more details).  Someone blasphemes the Holy Spirit by rejecting the truth that the Holy Spirit sent us in the Bible.  Any sin can be forgiven if we will turn to God’s Word and obey it (Rom 10:17, Heb 5:9), but there is absolutely no hope for someone if he or she will not accept the Holy Spirit’s Bible.

Therefore, since it seems that you are actively seeking the truth and trying to study and learn what God’s Word is – you can find comfort that you haven’t committed the unforgivable sin.

I have a friend at work that is having "cyber" sex relationships online.  And he has a wife; would you consider him cheating on his wife; is that adultery or some form of adultery?  Also, are we sinning by listening to him tell us these stories?  What advice should we give him?  We already told him that he should not be on that website because it might get out of hand.  Please help.  Thanks.

Sincerely,
Concerned Employee

Dear Concerned Employee,

Yes, what this man is doing is a sin.  Jesus says that we commit adultery in our heart when we lust after a woman that is not our wife (Matt 5:28).  There is debate over whether or not what your friend is doing is at a level that can be deemed fornication… but there is no doubt that it is wrong.  Any man that has started a second life (ironically, the same name as the game) in order to pursue illicit relationships is living a very ungodly and harmful lifestyle.

The Scriptures teach that the best thing you can do is to rebuke him privately in hopes that you can win him back (Matt 18:15), but ultimately, you cannot continue to encourage this horrible behavior by listening to him recount his sinful experiences.  Continuing in your current pattern will corrupt you (1 Cor 15:33), and it will continue to feed the flame of his bad choices.  In the end, you are doing him more good by rebuking him than by continuing to flatter him by giving ear to his escapades (Pr 28:23).

There's a lot in the news about bullycide, where a school kid is driven to suicide by cruel bullies.  What if the bullied kid was driven so crazy by bullying that he couldn't control his urge to escape the abuse?  What if he never had the chance to accept Christ as Savior and might end up in hell?  Does God hold the bully responsible for the death?  How can the parents forgive their kid's killer knowing that the bully might have driven their child to hell?  Why should the bully get the chance to be saved that he denied his victim?

Sincerely,
Looking For Justice

Dear Looking For Justice,

There are several things to consider here:

1. All children go to heaven.  Read “What About The Children” for further information.
2. If someone is old enough to be considered a ‘young adult’ and responsible for their own choices before God, we can have confidence that God will not let anyone be tempted beyond what they are able (1 Cor 10:13).  There is no such thing as a sin that can’t be escaped.
3. If the bully is another child, we refer back to point #1.  But ultimately, yes, all bullies and malicious people are held accountable for their choices (Rom 14:12).
4. Nobody can deny someone else the opportunity to go to heaven.  Jesus died for the sins of all mankind (Jhn 3:16).  We all work out our own salvation (Php 2:12), and no one can take that opportunity away from us.

I know the Bible tells us to respect our parents.  In my case, it would be my mother.  Ever since I can remember, my mother has always said or done mean things to me.  I am now forty-six, and she still says untruthful things about me to anyone who listens.  I am currently trying to do what is right as a christian.  She has done something recently, and I have come to the conclusion that I need to separate myself from her.  Is it okay to remove myself from her completely?  I have not had peace for many years concerning this issue.  She is always saying, "Honor your mother", but she did not do the same for her mother.  I love my mother and give her as much respect as I possibly can, but now at the age of forty-six, I think I need to remove myself from this situation… which means removing myself from her.  I have been hurt so much by her behavior.  Please advise.

Where in the Bible does it say you must stay with your immediate family even though they are not good for you?

Sincerely,
Wanting To Do What Is Right By My Family

Dear Wanting To Do What Is Right By My Family,

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that you have to stay with your immediate family even if they are bad for you.  The Bible says that Christianity will create division in many families (Matt 10:35-37).  The Bible also says that bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor 15:33).  The Scriptures are clear that we must honor our parents (Eph 6:2), but honor is not the same as staying in an unhealthy family arrangement.  ‘Honor’ means ‘to esteem highly’.  We honor our parents by treating them respectfully, regardless of their behavior.  As long as you are a minor, you are under the supervision of your parents and must abide by their decisions (Col 3:20).  However, once we reach adulthood (forty-six would count), we must make our own moral decisions and choices (Php 2:12).  Using wisdom (and prayer), you will have to decide what level of closeness and distance is appropriate with your mother.

How do you convince your spouse that God is real?  He believes one minute, and the next has doubts… which I know is the devil putting the thoughts in his mind.  He says he wants to believe, but then he calls us names and acts like the world.  What can I do to show him you can’t be of this world and of God, too?  He has been going to church and praying to feel God’s presence, but he says he doesn’t feel it, and it is discouraging him; he believes God doesn’t love him, and his heart is hardened like Pharaoh’s.  Are there any words or Scripture you would recommend to me?  Thanks and God bless.

Sincerely,
The Wife Of Mr. Doubtful

Dear The Wife Of Mr. Doubtful,

Your spouse either doesn’t have enough evidence that God exists, or he has a misunderstanding of how God works.  If your husband doesn’t have enough evidence that God exists, we recommend you have him read “Demanding Evidence” and look at some of the reference material from that post.

However, we think it may also be possible that your husband is under the misconception that God is all about emotion.  God doesn’t make us “feel His presence” in any sort of miraculous way.  Certainly, there are times we feel closer to Him than others, but that isn’t miraculous; that is emotional.  God exists whether we feel close to Him or not.  The Bible tells us that God is the same today, yesterday, and forever (Heb 13:8).  Whether or not we feel like God loves us, He says He does (Jhn 3:16), and we’ve got to take His Word for it!  God tells us to worship Him in spirit and in truth (Jhn 4:24).  You might remind your husband (gently) that no matter how he feels about serving God – the truth is that how we live does matter (Jas 2:18-24).  Beyond that, continue to let your influence and uncompromising moral faithfulness affect your spouse (1 Cor 7:12-16).