What is the age of accountability?

Sincerely,
Old Enough to Know Better

Dear Old Enough to Know Better,

The age of accountability is the age when a child becomes accountable to God for their sins and would be judged for them… exactly at what age that happens is the tricky part of your question.  We can tell you what the Bible says on the subject, but it doesn’t say much.

We know any baby that dies goes to heaven.  David’s son died, and David made it clear that his son was in heaven (2 Sam 12:23).  Also, Paul uses the immaturity of children as an example (1 Cor 13:11).  This tells us God doesn’t have the same expectation of a child’s behavior as He does of an adult’s.  Children are not bound by the same rules as adults.  A child doesn’t have the mental capacity or maturity to be held accountable for their mistakes like adults are.

In order to become a christian, there are several things God expects you to be capable of doing:

1. Take responsibility for your sins (Acts 3:19).
2. Hear and understand the Word of God (Rom 10:17).
3. Be responsible for your own spiritual growth (1 Pet 2:1-2).

If a child is not capable of doing those things, they cannot be held accountable for their eternal future.

This still doesn’t answer the question though because every child matures at a different rate.  Everyone agrees that a five-year-old can’t be held accountable, and that a twenty-year-old can.  It is the age spectrum in between where our judgment gets fuzzy.  Only God, who knows our hearts (Lk 16:15), can accurately judge the hour in which a child makes that transition into accountability.

I committed adultery and divorced twenty years ago.  I was married to an alcoholic; I know that is no excuse for what I did, but I was in a fifteen-year marriage with a man that would not get help for mental abuse and alcohol abuse.  I had three children he was beginning to treat like me.  I am not laying the blame all on him; I have forgiven him for what he did, and I asked for his forgiveness for anything I did to him.  I have been married for nineteen years to a wonderful man; I have asked God to forgive me, but the guilt is killing me… am I not forgiven?

Sincerely,
A Wife

Dear A Wife,

Your question is an important one and is one that many christians wrestle with because of the high divorce rate in American society.  As you stated, adultery is wrong, and every divorce is caused because of sin.  God hates divorce (Mal 2:16), and His desire has always been for men and women to remain married for a lifetime (Matt 19:4-6).

As of late, we have received a numerous amount of questions regarding this issue and normally try and answer these questions privately due to the sensitive nature of this topic.  However, as this particular question was asked anonymously, we have no choice but to publicly answer it to provide the Bible answer to you.  Our hope is that this post will serve as a final AYP post on the topic of marriage, divorce, and remarriage (MDR) for quite some time.

There are many views on MDR, and everyone must be careful to not stand too dogmatically upon any position because good brethren have disagreed over this issue for years.  Within our own congregation, we have had multiple viewpoints on how to appropriately address this doctrinal issue.  In areas of truth, we must stand firm; in matters of opinion, we should bend with the wind, and in all things we should show love.

Because of the complexities of this issue and because every circumstance is unique, we are recommending that people with questions on this subject listen to the sermon series “Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage”, compare the sermons to Scripture, and then faithfully examine themselves to see whether they are living as God intended (Php 2:12).

Sorry for bothering you with all my questions, but I am seeking God, and I want to know what’s right and wrong.  The other day in class, they asked us if we would die for another person.  My answer was: if Jesus died for us, why can't we die for another person?  Some people told me that it’s not good to die for others, only Jesus or God.  Is this true?

Sincerely,
A Giver

Dear A Giver,

You aren’t bothering us at all!  This website is exactly for people like yourself who want Bible answers to life’s questions.

It would be wrong to die for someone if you were worshipping that person or if you died simply because they told you to… but we are pretty sure that isn’t what you are asking about.

Sacrificing your life to save another’s is a godly, selfless, and heroic act.  Jesus said there is no greater act of love than to lay down your life for another (Jhn 15:13).  The apostle John specifically said that we should be ready to lay down our lives for other christians (1 Jn 3:16).  The apostle Paul thanked Priscilla and Aquila for risking their lives on his behalf (Rom 16:3-4).  Every day, christian firefighters, police officers, etc. put their lives on the line for others.  Someone that willingly sacrifices themselves to save others’ lives is a true hero.

Okay.  I have a question.  I live in a part of the country where, in the summertime, it gets very hot.  My question is this: I have worn a nice looking Hawaiian-style short-sleeved shirt and a pair of neat, clean, pressed khaki shorts to church on more than one occasion.  The shorts come to mid-calf, just below the knees.  So, what are your thoughts about this?  I personally don't see anything wrong with it – after all, I don't worry what other people think; I am at church to worship God.  I am a 6’ 1 ½” tall male.

Sincerely,
A Tall Drink Of Water

Dear A Tall Drink Of Water,

What clothing we should wear is an issue of modesty and respectability.  Christians need to wear enough clothing so that they aren’t revealing too much of their bodies… it is shameful to show your nakedness (Rev 3:18).  Furthermore, we must dress in a way that is honorable in the sight of all men (Rom 12:17).  In some cultures and parts of the globe, wearing pressed khaki shorts with a Hawaiian shirt is perfectly respectable for worship services; in other areas, it would be considered disrespectful, too casual, and irreverent.  Christians should strive to be “all things to all men”, so we might influence others (1 Cor 9:22).  Modesty is about trying to avoid dressing indecently and letting our clothes send the right message about our priorities (1 Tim 2:9-10).  You will have to decide whether or not your current dress code matches these biblical principles.

I have a friend, and her mother is for marriage immediately.  Meaning, if her daughters are having "relations" with a man, then they are required to marry him in her eyes... she believes that by marrying the man they sleep with, they might as well get married; it will look better in God's eyes.  For example, her daughter returned home from a year in rehab, and after a month home, her daughter met a man and started a relationship.  Her daughter then started staying out late with him, and within two months they were living together, and her mother told them to marry to make it right in God's eyes.  Four months later, they are now married.  I was taught that marriage is sacred and to only marry when you love the person and understand the commitment and are ready to take that step and be faithful for the rest of your life.  What does the Bible say about "when" to get married?  Is their mother wrong?  If so, how is she wrong?

Sincerely,
Timing Is Everything

Dear Timing Is Everything,

Their mother’s view is a lot better than just living in a sinful relationship.  People in romantic relationships have two options – marry or keep your hands off each other.  Marriage is a lifetime commitment (Rom 7:2).  God says that if two people are burning with passion for each other, it is better to marry than to sin (1 Cor 7:9).  Self-control is a highly prized virtue in God’s eyes (2 Pet 1:6), but if you are unable to show self-control, then it is better to get married.  No matter what, living together before marriage is fornication – it is a sin (1 Cor 6:18).  The only place for sex is within marriage (1 Cor 7:2).