My wife of thirty-five years has been battling cancer since 1998.  In 2007, she was told that she was terminal.  She has recently lost over 120 pounds, has no desire to eat, then loses what she does eat.  Doctors have tried everything; two doctors have recommended that she smoke marijuana.  Besides it being illegal in Florida, spiritually, she feels uncomfortable.  We have searched through the Scriptures with no avail. Please help.

Sincerely,
Struggling Spouse

Dear Struggling Spouse,

We are so very sorry for your suffering; we here at AYP cannot imagine how difficult this trial is for you and your wife.  We will do our very best to give you the Bible answer to such a sensitive question.  There are two things to consider:

1. The Bible says that we should obey the laws of the land (Rom 13:1-4).  If something is illegal – it is illegal.  The Lord would have us abide by the laws of the government, even when those laws are difficult to follow.
2. There is nothing inherently wrong with trying to reduce your wife’s discomfort.  Pr 31:6 specifically said that it is appropriate for a dying person to receive ease from their pain.  You can feel completely comfortable giving legal painkillers to your wife as she endures these difficult final stages of suffering.

We know that these two principles do not necessarily make your choices easier, but hopefully, that clarifies the doctrinal struggle you have been having.

Recently, I heard a sermon, and the preacher asked, "Who or what is causing your light to dim?"  It has caused a lot of us to think.  I know who is causing my light to dim but don't know what to do about it.  Our church is in turmoil.  No one respects the leader or leadership.  So, my question is: what do I do about it?

Sincerely,
Provoked To Action

Dear Provoked To Action,

If the congregation you are attending is having problems because it is no longer doing what the Lord wishes – your only option may be to leave.  However, if the congregation is faithful but floundering, and you have the strength to stick it out – let your light shine (Matt 5:16).  There are two reasons why most congregations in today’s society fall apart.

1. The congregation isn’t doing what the Bible says – in which case, they have problems because they aren’t following Bible patterns.  We recommend you read “Down With Denominationalism”, “Finding A Church”, and “Preacher Interrogation” for further information on what a New Testament congregation looks like.  Congregations that have a leadership that doesn’t hold to God’s Word are very difficult to change; most often, the only way to change them is for enough people to leave because they are disgusted with the unbiblical direction of the church.
2. The congregation has lost its love for the Lord (Rev 2:4-5).  Congregations that no longer have a zeal for the Bible and winning souls to Christ ultimately die off.  When we no longer serve Christ as faithful servants (1 Cor 4:2), a congregation loses its way.  Rev 2:1-7 tells of the church of Ephesus and the fate that awaited them because they lost their fire for God.

You must compare your congregation to the Bible and decide to stick it out and strengthen your brethren (Lk 22:32) or move on to another congregation where you can properly grow and serve the Lord with a clear conscience.  Whatever you do, make sure that you can say that the congregation you attend is “a pillar and ground of the truth” (1 Tim 3:15).  We have helped many others find faithful congregations in their area – if that is the road you believe you must choose, we would be happy to help you, too.

I am a committed christian, and I accept Christ as my Savior, but I don't understand some of the things God does to people who do not believe, and I believe this is holding me back from truly feeling Him in my heart.  These are some of the things I do not understand: there are truly great people out there who do not know Christ or do not believe.  Those who are brought up believing something else are innocent, for they have no choice. To them, it is like someone trying to convert you to Buddhism; you would not convert because you were brought up believing something else, and the consequence is to burn in hell for all eternity.  The human mind can’t even conceive of eternity; that’s the most horrifying thing I can imagine. God is like our father, but could you send your son to burn in hell, even if you could do something about it?  Please help me understand this; my faith most likely depends on this.  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Voice For The Lost

Dear Voice For The Lost,

There are several things to consider when wrestling with the issue of the lost going to hell.  The first thing to remember is that God doesn’t send people to hell – we choose to go there.  Sin is a choice made by responsible adults (see the story of the first sin in Gen 3:1-7).  When we sin, we die (Rom 6:23).  God didn’t make us spiritually dead; He created us with spiritual life (Gen 2:7).  God originally wanted all mankind to live eternally with Him in the Garden of Eden (Gen 2:8)… we are the ones who chose to break that perfect pattern.

God says that everyone has the opportunity and freedom to choose Him – regardless of what background we come from.  The very universe screams of the nature of God, so all are without excuse (Rom 1:20).  We all have a responsibility to seek out God, and He promises that all those who seek Him will find Him (Matt 7:7, Matt 5:6).  God never condemned us to hell; we did it to ourselves.  God has offered a payment for our souls through His Son Jesus Christ’s blood (Jhn 3:16).  Jesus is the road back to God (Jhn 14:6), the road we don’t deserve (Rom 5:8).  All of us have rebelled against God (Rom 3:23), and God in His infinite mercy gives us a second chance.

When we start thinking in terms of “God opening the way to heaven through His love” instead of “God condemning almost everyone to hell”, then we begin to get a proper picture of the way God views eternity.

I have a sensitive question that has a lot of varying answers, but I came across this site and decided to ask yet another religious and spiritual person.  Please try to answer as honestly as you can.

I had a cousin a little while back who committed suicide.  She was young (only 16) and not outwardly depressed or upset.  She left a long note for her mother, apologizing and trying to explain herself.  She was scared of what her future would hold, and her decision came with a lot of conscious struggle.  She left us all behind, confused and worried for her.  What would happen to someone like her in the afterlife? I know that God has the final say, but is suicide a sin?

ADDITIONAL DETAILS:
The girl in question wasn't an overly religious person (didn't attend church regularly), but she did believe in God, Jesus, and the afterlife.  She prayed every morning and often claimed to have a "connection" with God when she needed Him.  Thanks for your time.

Sincerely,
Sad Cousin

Dear Sad Cousin,

Suicide is a painful topic, and we are so sorry for your loss.  There are two things to consider when looking at what God says about a sixteen-year-old committing suicide.

1. Is suicide a sin?
2. How accountable does God hold someone of that age for their actions?

Question one is fairly straightforward – suicide is a sin.  Suicide is a form of murder, and murder is wrong (1 Jn 3:15).  What is so scary about suicide is that it is a form of murder that allows no opportunity for repentance (Heb 9:27).  The final judgment belongs to God (Heb 12:23), but it would be a very perilous thing to face God with your own blood on your hands.

Question number two is a lot trickier.  Children are not held accountable for their choices in the same way that adults are.  King David’s son died at infancy, and David knew that his son was in heaven (2 Sam 12:23).  Children are given as examples of godliness (Lk 18:17).  Paul uses the immaturity of children as an example (1 Cor 13:11).  At some point, children transition to being adults, and they become accountable for their own behavior… but that happens at different times for different kids.  Everyone understands that a five-year-old is a child and that a twenty-five-year-old is an adult; it is the ages in between that get fuzzier.  Sixteen is an age that sits squarely in the gray area.  Only God, who knows our hearts (Lk 16:15), could properly judge where your cousin’s maturity level was.  If she was still considered a child in the eyes of God, she will be in heaven – God doesn’t make mistakes; He will properly decide.  May God give you comfort in your time of grief for the loss of your loved one.

Hi, I lied to my dad a few times about drinking twisted tea, having a facebook (I deleted my facebook), why I came home from school late (because I had a detention, and I told him I was checking my grades), etc. – but I don't want to admit to him that I lied because he's verbally abusive.  Do I have to admit to my dad that I lied to him???  Am I lying to him by not admitting that I lied before?

Sincerely,
Troubled Kid

Dear Troubled Kid,

You lied to your father, and you need to ask for his forgiveness.  Part of repentance is asking forgiveness (Lk 17:4).  It is unfortunate that your relationship with your father is so unhealthy, but regardless of how he acts, you have a responsibility to do what is right (Matt 16:24).  Your conscience is obviously bothered by hiding these lies… it is time to clear that conscience (Acts 24:16).  May God bless you in your courage to put truth first in your life.