Is it possible to live a christian life when you cut off all ties to parents and keep their grandbaby from them?  My parents have never seen their first grandbaby.  This decision was mutual between my husband and I.  My parents ignore my husband; they pretend he doesn't exist.

Sincerely,
Discouraged Daughter

Dear Discouraged Daughter,

If you cut ties for moral reasons, yes... but not if you just got tired of dealing with family.  God emphasizes the need and importance of honoring parents (Ex 20:12, Matt 19:19, Matt 15:4, Mk 10:19, Eph 6:2).  Showing respect and kindness toward those who gave you the gift of life is deeply important.  The only time that it would be appropriate to sever that relationship would be if your parents were stopping you from serving the Lord (Matt 10:37).  Our relationship with our spiritual Father is more important than our relationship with our physical parents (Matt 19:29).  God understands that sometimes, for the sake of living a pure life, lines must be drawn between family members (Matt 10:35-36).  However, if at all possible, this should be avoided.  As much as it depends on you, be at peace with all men (Rom 12:18).

When God cast Satan out of heaven and gave him the earth to rule over, why then would God make the choice to create man on Earth?  The more I read the Bible, my feelings towards being a christian began to change.  God creates man on earth, knowing Satan is there.  God destroys the earth with the Great Flood because He saw that the earth was wicked.  God binds Satan for a thousand years and then turns him loose again to rule once more before he is cast into the lake of fire for all eternity.  This life God gave us seems to me to be a stage for His amusement.  I love my children and would never set up such drama in order for them to prove to me they love me... why has GOD??

Sincerely,
Toyed With

Dear Toyed With,

If God had set the earth up as a stage for His amusement, then He never would have come and died on a cross for us (Jhn 3:16).  God specifically restricts Satan’s ability to tempt us (1 Cor 10:13), and God makes it clear that He never asks us to endure any trial that He isn’t also willing to endure (Heb 2:18).

This life is all about letting people have the freedom to choose their own destiny (Deu 30:19).  Even the flood that Noah’s family endured was for their benefit – it saved the only faithful people on the planet from the corruptive influence of sin (1 Pet 3:20).  God doesn’t desire any of the wicked to perish (Ezek 18:23).  His desire is for all mankind to choose Him.  God honors our freewill by giving each of us an entire lifetime to choose for ourselves whether we want to spend eternity with Him or away from Him.  It isn’t about us proving our love… it is about God respecting the freedom He gave us.

I have people that walk up and down my street; I always say, “Hi!” when I’m outside, but my problem is one person stopped, and I could feel the evil he had when he spoke; he had a demon in him, I think.  Is it possible for common people to feel or see others that are possessed?

Sincerely,
Creeped Out

Dear Creeped Out,

Demon possession ended not long after the days of Christ.  Jesus made it clear that one of His jobs was to bind the devil and take His strength away by casting out the demons (Matt 12:28-29).  When Jesus’ disciples had come back from their evangelism trips and related to Him that they had cast out many demons, Jesus told them that they were defeating Satan by getting rid of Satan’s demonic minions (Lk 10:17-18).  When Jesus and His disciples cast out demons, they did it permanently (Lk 8:30-33) and bound Satan by their acts.  We no longer have to deal with such overt attacks by the devil.  Demon possession no longer exists; the devil must use subtler methods to deceive us now.

(This article is a response to “His And Her Beliefs”)

Thank you very much for your response.  While it is very unlikely that my viewpoint will ever change, I would love for you to point me in the direction of scientific proof of God's existence.  Like most atheists I know, I am always open to learning new things.

Being married to a christian has not changed my behavior at all.  I was a good, moral, and decent person before... and I still am.  Many uneducated people think that atheists are evil or devoid of morality.  But that would imply that christians are only moral out of fear or that only christians are moral people.  And, in my opinion, that is a pretty big judgment for a christian.

I looked through some previous questions posted on your website, and I have to say... one of them offended me tremendously.  A young woman asked if she should marry her atheist boyfriend.  You replied, “Right now, your boyfriend doesn’t impose his beliefs on you because he is still courting your affections; once you are married, that will change – it always does.”  Again... I consider that a very biased judgment.  I have NEVER imposed my beliefs on my husband, and I never would.  I support his beliefs 100%.  I don't share his beliefs, but I love that Christianity satisfies his spiritual needs.  You also said, “Marriage is a permanent decision; you can’t trust this man to abide by the same rules of marriage as you will.  Religion is the most important factor in a marriage because it affects your morals, how you raise children, your finances, your hobbies, how you treat one another, and a thousand other elements of your future.”  Like I stated before, my husband and I have a wonderful marriage, and although our views on God differ, we are still more than capable of compromising and working together to make our life the way we want it.  And neither of us have to give in and do anything that goes against our morals.  I don't cheat on my husband, lie to him, treat him badly, nor do either one of us force our own religious or spiritual beliefs on each other.  Judge lest ye be judged.

Sincerely,
Atheist Bride

Dear Atheist Bride,

Probably our best articles on the subject of God's existence are "Does God Exist?" and "God Is Alive".  Both those articles provide lots of information as well as additional books and resources that you and your husband could discuss together.

We never meant to imply that all atheists are devoid of morality; that isn't true.  The point is that your basis for morality is personal and subjective, and christianity is based off of a concrete and objective moral standard.  Christians believe that God created us, and His Word is the standard for morality (2 Tim 3:16-17)... atheists don't have that common standard.  We are very happy that your marriage is so successful, but in the many decades of combined counseling that our AYP writers have, you are a singular exception.

Purely out of theological curiosity, we'd love to learn from your experience as an atheist.  Why do you behave in a moral way?  Where do you get your standard for what is moral and immoral?  Would you consider it wrong for someone to murder/rape/torture someone else, and if so, why would you consider it wrong?  Our understanding of atheism is that humans are no different from the rest of the animal kingdom, and animals do all of those things to each other on a regular basis.  Our goal isn't to be rude – but to understand how an atheist comes to the conclusion that it is important to be decent and moral.  We look forward to your insight.

I have been married to the most wonderful man I have ever known for over nine years.  We have a wonderful marriage; we rarely argue, we discuss things fairly, and we communicate and compromise very well.  We are strong together and very, very happy.  There is only one problem.  I am an atheist.  My husband is a christian.  I do not try to change his mind or 'convert' him.  I was raised in a christian home, so I understand his feelings about my faith... or lack thereof.  He worries about my salvation, and he is quite upset that when he gets to heaven, I won't be there.  Becoming an atheist was a slow and emotional process for me.  When we married, I 'believed' in God, but my belief was based only on fear.  I did a lot of research on many different religions of the world, and the more I read, the more atheism made sense to me.  I love him, and his faith makes him happy, so I am 100% supportive of it.  But I cannot force myself to believe in something that I don't.

My husband and I found a Bible verse a few days ago, and I have asked every christian person that I personally know, and the answer is always different, so my husband suggested I find a website like yours (thank you, Google) and ask the experts, so to speak.  I do not know what your experience is, but I am assuming that since you are a preacher, and this is your line of work, maybe you can help clarify our interpretation of this verse.  Everyone interprets the Bible differently, and who is to say which interpretation is correct?  That's where I'm hoping you will come in.  My hope is to put my husband's mind at ease.  We do not intend to divorce.  That is NOT an option.  We have heard that from another preacher, so I'll just tell you up front that although we will value and appreciate your opinion, your opinion will not end our marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:12-14 says:
"To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.  And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.  For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.”

Dictionary.com defines sanctify as such:
sanc·ti·fy   [sangk-tuh-fahy]
–verb (used with object), -fied, -fy·ing.

1. to make holy; set apart as sacred; consecrate.

2. to purify or free from sin

3. to impart religious sanction to; render legitimate or binding: to sanctify a vow.

4. to entitle to reverence or respect.

5. to make productive of or conducive to spiritual blessing.

Our interpretation, put bluntly, is that because of his faith, I get a free ticket to heaven (IF I'm wrong about my beliefs).  My Aunt (who is VERY religious) says that my interpretation is impossible because the Bible says that the ONLY way to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven is to accept Christ as your Lord and Savior… and that my interpretation contradicts everything the Bible says (hence, my atheism).  But you can look for yourself.  The verse I quoted is in there, too.

So... please help us.  Give us, especially my husband, some guidance in our situation.  Thank you very much for your time.

Sincerely,
Atheist Bride

Dear Atheist Bride,

Whenever we deal with verses in the Bible, it is very important that we remember that no single verse can be viewed without comparing it with other verses.  It is the sum of all God's Word on any given topic that gives us the truth (Ps 119:160).  The only way for someone to be saved is through Christ (Jhn 14:6); it is impossible to be saved unless we accept Christ by faith (Eph 2:8).

However, the word 'sanctified' doesn't just refer to salvation.  In its most basic sense, the word 'sanctify' simply means 'to be set apart'.  People married to christians are different than those married to unbelievers.  The constant influence and contact that occurs from being married to a christian increases your likelihood of ever obeying the truth.  As 1 Cor 7:16 points out, that influence can eventually lead to the salvation of the unbelieving spouse.  By no means does 1 Cor 7 imply that the unbeliever receives a free ticket to heaven... we all have to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling (Php 2:12).

On a separate note, we here at AYP can commiserate with your frustration over fear-based belief in God... we believe the scientific evidence should be the basis for belief in God.  If you are ever interested, we would be happy to point you toward what we believe is the best evidence for God's existence.  Otherwise, at the very least, hopefully we have provided some clarity on 1 Corinthians 7.