My husband had a stroke in 2005 and has been in a nursing home for three years.  I take good care of him and always will, but I need a life.  I’m so unhappy; I’m still young enough to have someone in my life.  I have met a wonderful man that I care about, but I don’t want to go to hell either.  Will God understand if I have this other man in my life?  I know I took my vows for in sickness and in health, and I will always be there, but I don’t want to be alone either.  Please help me in this matter.

Sincerely,
Almost A Widow

Dear Almost A Widow,

Every marriage begins with hopes and dreams for a wonderful and beautiful future, but unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way.  We are so very sorry for your husband’s sickness and the trials it has wrought for your marriage; we cannot imagine how difficult it has been.  However, you didn’t write to us for a listening ear – but for Bible answers.  As you said, your vows bind you to your husband through the good times and through the bad – til’ death do you part.  Those vows don’t go away just because things haven’t turned out as you both envisioned (Matt 5:37).  If you choose to begin a new romantic relationship, it is adultery… Romans 7:1-3 is very clear on that subject.  Your husband is alive, and you are still bound to him.  You are in our prayers during this very difficult time.

(This question is a follow-up to “Missing The Spirit”.)

Will the Holy Spirit ever come to him [the man that fell away]?  Will God ever come back to him if he truly repents?

Sincerely,
Yea Or Nay?

Dear Yea Or Nay,

Repentance is always available… even after someone has fallen away.  Jesus told Peter that we are to model our forgiveness after God's, and God's forgiveness is infinite to the repentant (Matt 18:21-35).  Furthermore, when someone fell away in the Corinthian church and later repented, Paul said that the church should accept that person back with open arms (2 Cor 2:6-8).  There is always opportunity to repent and come back as long as we are still living.

My question has to do with being a photographer.  If I work for a company that sends me out on assignment to photodocument an event such as a swimsuit competition, would that be wrong?  And if it is, what about going to the beach?  Should we not do that either?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Confused Photographer

Dear Confused Photographer,

We live in a fallen world where sin is constantly around us, but that doesn’t mean we should be active participants in it (Eph 5:11).  You are absolutely correct that you will find a lot of sinful behavior and immodest dress at the beach, but existing in the same place as that behavior is a lot different than documenting it for publication in a positive light.  Newspaper photographers are put in a billion different situations that bring up moral questions.  The key is to ask yourself, “Am I in a position where I am participating in or furthering immoral behavior?” (2 Cor 6:14)  Considering the purpose and goal of swimsuit competitions... your answer would probably be, “Yes, I am furthering immoral behavior” in this circumstance.

Will the Holy Spirit of God ever leave a born-again christian?  I have read several people saying ‘yes’ and several people saying ‘no’.

Sincerely,
Yea Or Nay?

Dear Yea Or Nay,

The Holy Spirit no longer abides with us when we fall away.  It is possible for a christian to lose their salvation.  Heb 2:1-3 says we can “drift” away from the truth and “neglect” our salvation.  If after becoming christians we return to a willful life of sin, we will lose our salvation (Heb 10:26-27).  Heb 6:4-6 points out that returning to a sinful life is an act of rebellion that re-crucifies Christ.  Yes, a christian can fall away.

I have a friend who asked me a question.  He asked me about 2 Thess 2:11.  He wanted to know why God would send a "strong delusion" to man.  He feels it is God allowing Satan to cover the eyes of man.  I told him it was most likely because man is so obsessed with evil; it’s God's way of rubbing their nose in it.  I told him that when man desires evil, that's what he gets (evil).  Could you explain this whole thing to me so that I can give him the answer he seeks?

Sincerely,
Friendly Counsel

Dear Friendly Counsel,

2 Thess 2:11 is referring to only a certain group of people – those who refuse salvation because they are unwilling to love the truth (2 Thess 2:10).  What your friend is concerned about it is that God would somehow allow Satan to keep people from having the freedom to see the truth, but that isn’t what this verse is referring to.  Jhn 3:16 makes it clear that God sent His Son so that everyone would have the freedom to choose salvation, and Ezek 18:23 shows that God doesn’t desire any of the wicked to perish.  The strong delusion referred to in 2 Thess 2:11 is the same as the seared conscience mentioned in 1 Tim 4:2.  When people refuse salvation and refuse to see the truth, they will naturally become more and more wicked because they will make bad choices.  They will sear their own conscience and become deluded with evil.  If we are honest, we draw closer to the truth; if we are dishonest, we move farther from it.