I am having a problem.  I have friends that I introduced to my church two years ago.  Some are doing ministry work, and one couple had their wedding vows renewed yesterday, so they could do it this time under God’s blessing, but I know at home, they are hanging out, and they drink every day of the week (not that they are drunk, but very high), and they have my pastor and everyone else fooled.  It is really bothering my husband and I, and we don’t hang out with them anymore because we don't drink anymore and haven't in a while, and they don’t even act like we are friends anymore, but I am wondering: should I say anything or just let God handle it?

Sincerely,
Former Friend

Dear Former Friend,

When we know that someone in the church is actively leading a sinful life, we are supposed to go to them and talk to them about it in hopes of restoring them.  If that doesn’t work, we should bring others with us so that the seriousness of the issue can be addressed properly (after all, maybe you are wrong.  Impartial witnesses help all people involved).  And lastly, if that doesn’t work, the church leadership should begin the discipline process.  All of these steps are outlined in Matt 18:15-17.

It sounds like you and your husband have previously made your sentiments known to these individuals.  Now it is time to get someone else (probably the church leadership) involved.

On a separate note, it sounds like your congregation has only one pastor; you might want to read our article “Two Are Better Than One” on the necessity for multiple pastors in a church.

I want to ask.  My husband and I go to different churches, but we are both Christians (just a difference in styles), but our churches are not too far from one another.  Well, I don't drive, so my husband takes me on Sunday morning.  My church starts at 10 AM; his also starts at 10 AM, but he gives a ride to some of his church members… which I don't mind at all, so I go at maybe 9:30, so he will have time to pick them up, but he wants to drop me off at 9 with no one there, but I don't want to stay that early with no one at the church yet.  I just want to know: am I asking him to put me before God

Sincerely,
Asking Too Much?

Dear Asking Too Much,

Your family’s religious struggles are deeper than just figuring out how to carpool.  The problem is with the idea that the differences between churches are merely “style” differences.  There was only one church in the first century, and today there are well over 33,000 different denominations all professing to belong to Christ.  This is not only tragic; it’s wrong.  Christ died for one church, and He gave us one doctrine (Eph 4:4-6).  Christianity can only be preserved in the “unity of the Spirit” (Eph. 4:3).  This means that the only way we can have unity is to use the standard the Holy Spirit has given us – the Bible.

All the denominations have their own creed books, statements of faith, organizational structures, and opinions.  Christ’s church has none of those.  It has one book, the Bible, as its rule and standard for all behavior.  It is our guide for all things that pertain to life and godliness (2 Pet 1:3).  It is the book that was handed down once and for all to the saints (Jude 3).  We cannot have faith without hearing this Word (Rom 10:17), and we cannot please God without obeying its commandments (Jhn 15:14).

The Catholics trust their Vatican leadership, the Protestants reform a broken system, and the community churches pledge loyalty to their communities and social programs.  The only solution to the religious confusion is a radical step… restoration of Bible-only principles.  Let us go back to the Bible for everything that we do, and if we cannot find Bible authority for something… we must refuse to practice it.  A church that finds its roadmap and structure in the Bible alone is the real solution to the division that exists in the religious world.  When the Bible speaks, let us speak – and when it is silent, let us be silent.

Everything a church does (worship, membership, how they teach to be saved, how they spend their money, even their name) needs to have Bible verses backing them up (1 Tim 3:15).  A church needs to be able to explain the reasons for why they do what they do (1 Pet 3:15).

Our congregation here in Monroe goes by the name ‘Monroe Valley church of Christ’ because ‘church of Christ’ is a Biblical name for a congregation (Rom 16:16).  We worship by singing (Col 3:16), studying the Bible (1 Tim 4:13), praying (2 Thess 3:1), taking communion (only on Sundays – Acts 20:7), and taking up a collection (also only on Sundays – 1 Cor 16:1-2).  We teach that you must hear God’s Word (Rom 10:17), believe God’s Word (Jhn 3:16), repent of your sins (Mk 6:12), confess Jesus as your Savior (Lk 12:8), and be baptized to be saved (Acts 2:38, 1 Pet 3:21).  We do all these things because they are practices found in the Bible.  We can help you and your husband find a church that does these things and settles for nothing less than total adherence to the Bible.  Just email us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org and we’d be happy to get you in touch with someone that can study with you.

     I did a very bad thing today.  I was baptized about two years ago.  I made a promise to God that I would never go to the strip club again.  I haven’t in two years until, on my birthday, my friend sidetracked me to go.  I felt so horrible about going and that I let God down.  I knew it was wrong and still went anyways.  My question is: I know the Bible only says one baptism, but I will feel a lot better if I get re-baptized, so I can start clean and find new friends.

Sincerely,
Ashamed

Dear Ashamed,

Good for you for recognizing the sin, accepting that you need to start clean, and realizing you need to find friends that strengthen you, not corrupt you (1 Cor 15:33).  In your newfound effort to do what God says, let’s start with baptism.  As you said, if you were already baptized, the Bible teaches that once is enough.  It is important to do what God says in all areas of our life.  You may feel like you need to be re-baptized, but you also felt like you needed to go to that club with your friend.  Feelings are fickle; the Bible is steady.  Go ahead and make that fresh start and find those new friends.  No need to find water.

     Is it okay to date a married man if he is in the process of a divorce?

Sincerely,
Interested Party

Dear Interested Party,

He is married.  Married people don’t date anyone but their spouses.  No matter how close he might be to a divorce, or how serious the separation is – he is still married.

Though it is unlikely that he will reconcile with his spouse if he is filing for divorce, he is still married.  If you begin dating, you will be dating a married man.  That looks bad to everyone else, thus tainting your relationship in the eyes of others (Rom 12:17).  Furthermore, it doesn’t just look bad – it is bad.

All of this makes it wrong even without addressing questions like why he is getting divorced, if it’s scriptural, etc.  The fact is that even without those issues, now is not a time to be starting a new relationship.  God designed a husband and wife to work through their marriage problems together (1 Cor 7:10-11)… until those problems are resolved (either by reconciliation or scriptural divorce), he is committed to that relationship.  With all that turmoil involved in divorce, his life and mind are not in a good position to be entering the dating world even if it were appropriate.  Since you truly care for this man, the greatest gift you can give him is to step away and let him get things in order.

     My husband and I were raised in different churches.  We recently had a discussion about alcohol: those who drink it, those who don't, and what kind of example we want to set for our children.  Can you clarify what the Bible states about alcohol consumption?

Sincerely,
United Front

Dear United Front,

God never specifically condemns all alcohol, but He does condemn ‘strong drink’ (Pr 20:1), drinking parties (1 Pet 4:3), and drunkenness (Rom 13:13).  Almost all alcohol that is consumed today would fall into the category of ‘strong drink’ because our alcoholic beverages are artificially fermented to increase their alcoholic content (unlike the wine of Jesus’ day – read “That’s Just Grape” for further details on the wine Jesus drank).  We would all do well to heed the words of Pr 23:31-32 and avoid alcohol as much as is possible.