What should I do to get over lost love?

Sincerely,
Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,

It is always difficult when a romantic relationship ends, but God promises that if you serve Him, all things will work together for good in your life (Rom 8:28).  God tells us to not rush love and romantic relationships (Songs 8:4).  If you work on becoming the kind of person you ought to be, the Lord will bless you.  Make a decision to become a person prepared to serve God in whatever capacity He sees fit (2 Tim 2:21).  When you allow Christ to live in you, life turns out right (Gal 2:20).

     Is not having enough money a "good" reason to postpone marriage?  I (we) are poor college students but are emotionally and spiritually ready for marriage… just not financially.  Bad reasoning?

Sincerely,
Ready, But No Money

Dear Ready, But No Money,

There is no clear answer on something like this because each circumstance is different, but there are two Bible principles you want to keep in mind when deciding when to marry.

The first principle is that God tells us to plan ahead in all that we do.  In Lk 14:28-32, Jesus explains that a man who doesn’t plan before building a tower or a king who doesn’t plan before going to war is a fool.  As you know, marriage is a huge commitment, and there are a lot of important things to be prepared for when considering marriage.  Finances are only one part of the picture, but they are something to factor in.  So, thinking about the financial aspects of marriage makes you wise.

The second principle is found in 1 Cor 7:9.  That verse explains that it is possible for a couple to wait too long before marriage, and it can lead to all sorts of problems… not the least of which is sinful pre-marital conduct.  A couple that burns for one another isn’t weak; 1 Cor 7:9 explains that it is a natural and normal aspect of how God made men and women, but it is also something to consider when postponing marriage for too long.  Some couples, in the desire to wait for the “perfect time” to get married – simply wait too long.  Better to be poor and married than financially stable with regrets and unhappiness.

As we said, the answer isn’t simple.  Finances should be considered, but waiting for riches isn’t right either.  You have to use wisdom to balance these two principles and decide as a couple whether or not the time is right.

     A close friend of mine is a devout Christian.  She has Type 1 diabetes, but beyond taking insulin to stay alive, she ignores the health care system totally.  She has medical insurance; I think she’s trusting her health to God almost 100%.  Does the Word of God sanctify this?  I know faith in God is important, but I am concerned…

Sincerely,
Troubled Friend

Dear Troubled Friend,

If your question is whether or not a Christian is allowed to use doctors and medicine, the answer is ‘yes’.  Paul told Timothy to take wine medicinally for a sick stomach (1 Tim 5:23), and Jas 5:14 describes the elders praying and using oil, a common general ointment, when someone is sick.  God told mankind to take dominion of this world and use it for our good – this includes the creation and use of medicine (Gen 1:26).  Using medicine is not in opposition to having faith in God.  As for how much and when each individual should use medicine, that is up to each person’s discretion and wisdom.

     Is divorce ever "okay"?  If so, when?  When there has been unfaithfulness, abuse, neglect?

Sincerely,
Curious About Causes

Dear Curious About Causes,

Divorce always involves sin.  God is never okay with divorce, but He does allow it in certain circumstances.  In Mal 2:16, God says that He hates divorce and compares divorce to an act of violence and bloodshed.  In every divorce, you will see that one or both parties have committed sin.

In Matt. 19:9, Jesus says that divorce is wrong between two believers unless fornication has been committed.  ‘Fornication’ means ‘sexual immorality’.  Adultery is an allowed reason for divorce.

The other reason is found in 1 Cor 7:12-15.  In those verses, the apostle Paul explains that a Christian that is married to an unbeliever can accept a divorce if the unbeliever wishes to break up the marriage.  This doesn’t mean that the Christian can instigate a divorce from an unbeliever, but they aren’t sinning by accepting the divorce.

Those are the two circumstances when God says that divorce is allowed.  In other situations, separation would be allowed, but not divorce.

If you would like more information on what Jesus taught regarding Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage - this link will take you to a series of lessons we taught on the subject.

     Why do people that are not saved put others down?

Sincerely,
On The Up And Up

Dear On The Up And Up,

People do things for a lot of different reasons, some legitimate, some not.  Especially when people are living their lives outside of Christ, they are enslaved to sin, and they make all sorts of unhealthy decisions (Rom 6:17-18).  It isn’t our job to judge or condemn those outside of Christ – God says that they will be judged by the Word (Jhn 12:48).  It is our job to look past whatever harm or personal injury we may have suffered and strive to bring the truth of Christ to them.  Don’t worry about what those who are lost do to you; worry for them and be a light (Matt 10:28).