I have a friend who is constantly asking why God didn't make us perfect in the first place since He knew we would fall.  I've tried to explain His love in giving us free will, but she can't accept or understand that. 

  I've always known He created us for His glory, and giving us free will allows us an opportunity to do that by choosing His will for our lives.  I just don't know how to relate to my friend in a way that she understands and accepts.  Got any suggestions?

Sincerely,

Fumbling Friend

Dear Fumbling Friend,

You might try talking about the definition of ‘perfect’ with your friend.  ‘Perfect’ means ‘complete’ or ‘having all the desirable and required elements’.  Perfect doesn’t mean that something can’t be broken or fail.  A car engine can be in perfect condition, and yet, if you don’t put oil in it – it will break.  A house can be perfectly constructed and still be destroyed by an earthquake.  When God made Adam and Eve, He made them without defect (Gen 1:31).  They were made exactly as He intended them – in His image (Gen 1:26).  Adam and Eve were designed with eternal souls and the ability to choose their own destiny.  They were perfectly designed with the free will to choose to love God or to choose to rebel against Him.  In fact, if mankind were designed so that it would be impossible for them to sin – they wouldn’t have free will.  God has given us the great gift of choice, and it is up to us what we do with it (Deut 30:19).  God could have made us without the freedom to choose, but then we wouldn’t be “in His image”… we would be automatons.  If every parent had the choice between having a child that may break their heart or purchasing a robot that would obey their every command… well, the choice is obvious.  A robot is no replacement for a child.

    How do I know I am filled with the Holy Spirit?

Sincerely,
Feeling Empty

Dear Feeling Empty,

The indwelling of the Holy Spirit that allowed people to perform miracles was received through the direct laying on of hands of the apostles (Acts 8:17-18). This dwelling of the Holy Spirit no longer exists because it died off with the last person that the last apostle laid his hands upon.

Christians do have the Holy Spirit dwell in them (Rom 8:9) – but not literally. The Holy Spirit dwells in christians in the same metaphorical way that Christ dwells in christians (Rom 8:10). The Holy Spirit and Jesus do not physically dwell inside christians miraculously. They dwell within christians in a figurative way because a christian’s life follows the path the Holy Spirit and Christ set for them.

The Holy Spirit dwells in those that follow the Bible and put to death their previous sinful lifestyles (Rom 8:12-14). The Holy Spirit gave us the Bible, and when we follow it, we are led by the Spirit. Those who are led by the Spirit are sons of God, and the Spirit dwells in them (Rom 8:14-16).

     How do I let go of guilty feelings that haunt me all the time for any and all wrong I've done throughout my life, regardless of how wrong the act.  I've repented and asked forgiveness and honestly feel remorse.  I know Jesus forgives and forgets, but how do I forget?  It keeps me from feeling like I bettered myself by doing right, and I am not worthy of God's blessings.  I feel He should bless others who are more worthy.

Please guide me in the right direction to accept my forgiveness from our Savior.

Sincerely,
Guilty

Dear Guilty,

What you are asking is one of the most difficult things in life ­– forgiving yourself.  Like all things, God is better at forgiveness than we are.  Many people hold on to the guilt and shame of sin far too keenly.  God tells us that there are several things to remember:

1. Even if your heart condemns you, God keeps His promises.  On the Judgment Day, we will be judged by God’s standards, not whether or not we feel worthy (1 Jn 3:20).
2. We can reassure our own hearts that we have been forgiven when we study and live by the truth of the Bible (1 Jn 3:18-20).  The more we immerse ourselves in God’s teachings, the quicker we begin to realize that forgiveness isn’t about being worthy… but about having faith in the mercy of God.
3. Another way to look at your problem is to remember that saying, “I can’t believe God will forgive me” is the same as saying, “I don’t believe that Jesus’ sacrifice was enough”.  That may sound harsh, but our forgiveness is based upon Jesus’ blood (Col 2:14).  It is an act of faith in Jesus to accept our own forgiveness.

All in all, self-forgiveness takes time… just like all areas of growth.

I wanted to know if when you read I Timothy on the qualifications for a bishop, you read "...must be the husband of one wife" as excluding women from the office of a bishop.  I always understood that particular verse to address having more than one wife since Israel had practiced that in their history.  Also, the Scripture in I Corinthians as pertaining to women teaching was based on the Corinthian church at that time, etc.  I would love to hear your expanded thoughts on this.

Sincerely,
Ladies’ Lib

Dear Ladies’ Lib,

Pastors (Eph 4:11) – also known as elders or bishops (Tit 1:5-7) – are always men.  The qualifications for pastors are given in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9.  As you said, one of those qualifications is that he must be “a husband of one wife” (1 Tim 3:2, Tit 1:6) – that clearly rules out females from becoming bishops.  People have tried to say that these verses are just cultural or that they only pertained to those particular churches, but there is nothing in the Bible that says that.  If we just take the Bible for what it says – elders must be men.

Everyone agrees that women can be servants in the church – the question isn’t whether women can serve; it is how they can serve.  Phoebe was a servant of the church (Rom 16:1) and was praised for her service.  Priscilla was also commended for her labor on behalf of the church (Rom 16:3).  The Bible clearly shows women working in the church and in a very positive way.  Women are seen serving in many capacities in the church, but they are never seen in positions of authority.  Women are forbidden from having authority over men in the church… they are also forbidden from publicly teaching men (1 Tim 2:12).  Women cannot be preachers or have positions within the church that allow them to have dominion (the word ‘dominion’ means ‘to have authority over’).  Women are encouraged to teach other women (Tit 2:3-5) but to take a less authoritative role than men within the church and family.  Paul explains the reason for this structure in 1 Tim 2:13.  Adam was created first, and Eve was created as his helper.   In both the family (Col 3:18-19) and the church (1 Cor 14:34), this principle is carried out.  Eve was no less valuable than Adam, but she was designed for a different role.

As a child, what is the estimated age you have to be to not know Christ and not be saved and not go to Heaven? If a baby dies, will they go to Heaven? If a two-year-old dies, will they go to Heaven?

Sincerely,
Maturity Matters

Dear Maturity Matters,

The age of accountability is the age when a child becomes accountable to God for their sins and would be judged for them… exactly at what age that happens is the tricky part of your question.  We can tell you what the Bible says on the subject, but it doesn’t say much.

We know any baby that dies goes to heaven.  David’s son died, and David made it clear that his son was in heaven (2 Sam 12:23).  Also, Paul uses the immaturity of children as an example (1 Cor 13:11).  This tells us God doesn’t have the same expectation of a child’s behavior as He does of an adult’s.  Children are not bound by the same rules as adults.  A child doesn’t have the mental capacity or maturity to be held accountable for their mistakes like adults are.

In order to become a christian, there are several things God expects you to be capable of doing:

1. Take responsibility for your sins (Acts 3:19).

2. Hear and understand the Word of God (Rom 10:17).

3. Be responsible for your own spiritual growth (1 Pet 2:1-2).

If a child is not capable of doing those things, they cannot be held accountable for their eternal future.

This still doesn’t answer the question though because every child matures at a different rate.  Everyone agrees that a five-year-old can’t be held accountable, and that a twenty-year-old can.  It is the age spectrum in between where our judgment gets fuzzy.  Only God, who knows our hearts (Lk 16:15), can accurately judge the hour in which a child makes that transition into accountability.