We went to a church that believed if you were married more than once you couldn't be a deacon or preacher. This is because the Bible says you can only be the husband of one wife.  Is this a correct interpretation?

Sincerely,
Counting Criteria

Dear Counting Criteria,

The qualification you are referring to can be found in 1 Tim 3:12.  The phrase ‘husband of one wife’ literally means a ‘one-woman man’ in the Greek. He must be devoted exclusively and faithfully to his one wife. A man who is widowed and then remarried could still be properly described as a ‘one-woman man’ because he was completely devoted to his first wife until her death, and now is fully devoted to his current wife.

The question a congregation has to wrestle with is if a divorced brother has shown the character trait of monogamous fidelity. Why did he get divorced? Was it for infidelity? Was he always faithful to her? Did she leave him, or did he leave her? How does he behave with his current wife? How long has he been married to his current wife? The answers to these questions will help assess whether he is a faithful ‘one-woman man’.

Divorce is a red flag that should make us pause before appointing a man as a qualified deacon, but depending on the circumstances surrounding the divorce, the man may still be qualified.

     I have a difficult decision to make.  This guy that I am dating is Hindu.  I just found out today.  I don't know what to do; is it okay to date people outside of your religion? I have always believed it wouldn't be, but I am not sure.  Please help.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Hindu Hindered

Dear Hindu Hindered,

You are right to be concerned.  It isn’t necessarily wrong to date someone who is Hindu, but you should be working toward his conversion WAY before marriage.  ‘Inter-faith’ marriages have disastrous results, an awful track record, and God warns against them. The Bible’s most notorious example of this is Solomon. Solomon’s idolatrous wives turned the heart of the wisest man on the planet away from God (1 Kgs 11:4). If Solomon in all of his wisdom couldn’t resist the pull of a false religion, we should consider ourselves just as vulnerable. There is too much at stake. If your heart is turned away from God, your soul will be eternally destroyed (Heb 3:12).

No matter how much two people love each other, there are only five possible outcomes for a christian marrying a Hindu, and only one of them is good:

1. He eventually converts and obeys the gospel, becomes a christian, and is saved (GOOD).
2. You eventually convert and follow Hinduism, and you are both lost (BAD).
3. You both make compromises in your beliefs, and you no longer fully serve the Lord (BAD).
4. You both eventually renounce both of your belief systems, and are both lost (BAD).
5. You bear through a lifetime of disagreement on the most important thing in life.  You stand strong in the faith, but are hindered in the amount of service you can provide the Lord (BAD).

The only positive outcome is the first one, and that isn’t any more likely to happen after marriage than before. Either he will eventually convert, or he won’t – serious romantic commitment and/or marriage won’t increase those odds.

God warns against being ‘unequally yoked’ to someone with different values than you (2 Cor 6:14-16). Once you get married, you are ‘yoked’ to that person with a lifetime agreement. A godly marriage is designed around unity (Gen 2:24). If you aren’t unified on your core belief system, then everything else will be affected. Where would your children go to church? How much money would you contribute to God’s church – would he, being a Hindu, be okay with contributing anything at all? What happens when he wants to put up Hindu emblems around the house? These are just a few of the thousands of day-to-day problems inter-faith marriages present. God tells us that a christian should marry someone ‘in the Lord’ (1 Cor 7:39).  It is time to have a serious heart-to-heart with this fellow and see if it is possible to get on the same spiritual page.

What are the dangers of church hopping?

Sincerely,
Bunny Steps

Dear Bunny Steps,

Being a member of a congregation is about more than just hearing God’s Word; it is about being a committed, active participant in supporting and encouraging God’s people.  There are no examples of christians in the Bible who weren’t members of a local church.  Even the apostle Paul, with all of his traveling, was a member of the church in Antioch (Acts 11:25-26).  God tells us that part of the purpose of the church assembly is to stimulate and encourage one another to love and good works (Heb 10:24-25).  Is it enough to just stay at home and watch sermons on television or listen to ones you have downloaded from the internet?  If the only purpose of church attendance is to hear the Word, then those would be acceptable alternatives to going to church.  We are supposed to get together each Sunday and partake of the Lord’s Supper (Acts 20:7, 1 Cor 11:20), and God intended for christians to be a part of a local congregation with elders and deacons to help shepherd them (1 Pet 5:2).  God knows what is best for us, and it is in our best interest to assemble with other christians in a local church.  We are all different, and our differences help to strengthen us, protect us, and better serve Christ (Eph 4:14-16).  If all you do is “church hop”, then you don’t have the blessings of the local eldership, interwoven lives with other local saints, and participating fully in the growth of the church’s work.  Church membership isn’t just about what you get; it is about what you are able to give.

     After Jesus' time on Earth, there were people spread throughout the entire Earth.  What happened to the Indians of America and South America?  None of them had any idea whom Jesus was until the Spanish Catholic missionaries forced them to listen.  There was a thousand plus year difference between Jesus' death and that Spanish conquering.  If the only way into heaven is through Jesus Christ, how is it that someone who has never heard of Him is going to spend an eternity in damnation?  I know this is quite a lot, but as a Christian, I need to search for these answers to further myself as a better minister.

Sincerely,
Spanish Inquisitor

Dear Spanish Inquisitor,

Let’s address your concerns about those who didn’t hear about Christ until many years after His death and resurrection.  God has always given every human the chance to live a life of faith in Him.  During the transitional period from Judaism to Christianity, and during the time it took for God’s Word to spread across the globe, God dealt with ignorant nations the same way He always has.

We have a single statement in the book of Romans that hints at what kind of law the nations were under before hearing of Christ.  Rom 1:14-15 says that the Gentiles (Gentile means ‘non-Jew’) had a law of conscience written by God on their hearts.  This doesn’t tell us much, but it does point out that God had a system for judging the Gentiles… it was just different than the system He used for judging the Jews or today uses for judging Christians.  Rom 1:20 says that God’s invisible attributes are clearly seen in the world around us and that everyone is accountable for recognizing God’s sovereignty regardless of what other knowledge they have.  These verses just give a glimpse at the pre-Christian Gentile world, but it is enough to paint a picture that God had a plan; we just don’t know exactly how it worked.  We do, however, know that God judges righteously, and no one will ever accidently end up in hell (2 Tim 4:8).

     Does the exact Hebrew translation say in the Ten Commandments, “Thou shalt not kill”?  Or does it say something along the lines of “Thou shall not murder”?  Obviously, Moses was a great military leader (along with Joshua, David, Gideon, etc.).  I'm a soldier, and I get asked this question.  I don't know how to answer it.

Sincerely,
On The Defense

Dear On The Defense,

The Hebrew word used for ‘kill’ in the Ten Commandments literally means ‘murder’.  There is a difference between killing someone in self-defense and pre-meditated, intentional murder of another human being.  The Bible has plenty of examples of faithful people going to war (David killed Goliath in battle – 1 Sam 17:49-50).  The Bible is also full of examples of capital punishment for certain crimes (Num 15:35).  Num 35:15-16 makes a distinction between accidentally killing someone and premeditated murder.  A police officer may have to kill someone while serving the community, but that isn’t murder.  The same is true with a soldier.