Hi, I'm 13, and I've got a lot of friends at my school.  Most of them are christian. However, there is one that is a mormon and one that is an athiest. Is it wrong to be friends with them?

Sincerely, Choosing Carefully

Dear Choosing Carefully,

There is a difference between a friend and a close intimate friend. Not all friendships are equal. David and Jonathan’s friendship was so close they were like brothers (1 Sam 18:1). Jesus was close to all his apostles- but especially to Peter, James, and John (Mk 5:37). Jesus also was kind and friendly to the tax collectors and sinners (Mk 2:15-16), but there wasn’t a great amount of depth to His relationship with them unless they converted. Best friends, friends, and casual friends are all friends, but not all are equal.

As you choose your friends you will need to make an assessment of how deep the friendship should be. Do they have the same values as you? Are they good people? Do they help you to be a better person? Are you their friend because they need you or vice versa? There isn’t anything wrong with being friends with people who aren’t exactly like you, but it is important to make sure that they aren’t leading you away from God. Any friend that influences you to compromise your morals or mocks you for being such a ‘goodie-goodie’ is not really a friend at all. However, if your mormon and atheist friends are willing to accept you as you are, then let your light shine. Maybe you will win them to Christ! Letting unbelievers see your life is one of the most important parts of being a christian (Matt 5:16).

Don’t shy away from people just because they aren’t christians, but be careful that your deepest, closest friendships are with people who have the same values as you. Always be aware of the danger of being corrupted by the world when you are choosing your closest friends (1 Cor 15:33).

I have a question about a man having more than one wife.  I know that in our culture it is something that is looked upon with disdain, but in other cultures it is an accepted practice.  I don’t want to add anything or take anything away from the Word of God, but how much of this issue is cultural, and how much is biblical? I know that in the Old Testament, God speaks to Adam and Eve and says the two shall become one flesh, but all throughout the Old Testament there are cases of a man having more than one wife. For example, David had many wives, and he was a man after God’s own heart.  If monogamous marriage was a commandment, all those people in the Old Testament sinned by having more than one wife.  I just don’t see God giving a commandment and then just letting man break it. In the New Testament, the qualification for elders is used to show that a man can’t have more than one wife; however, that is specifically for a man who is in that position, and there are qualifications listed that don’t apply to a non-elder Christian (like having believing children).  Also, I am sure there were first century conversions of men who have more than one wife, and if it is a commandment, then they would have had to divorce all but their first wife. I know that because it is viewed as wrong by our culture that, even if we can do it, we shouldn’t have more than one wife.  I also know that a guy would have to be crazy to want to deal with more than one wife and the conflict between the wives.  All I am concerned with is if it is a biblical commandment or a cultural restraint.

Sincerely, Vowing To Learn

Dear Vowing To Learn,

Polygamy is never expressly condemned in the Bible.  It is also never treated as the standard... but as the exception. There are scores of examples of monogamy being God’s preference for man:

1. Adam & Eve were designed monogamously (Gen. 2:24)
2. No polygamy existed until 7 generations after Adam (Gen 4:19)
3. Noah, the last righteous man of his day, had only one wife (Gen 7:13)
4. Qualification for an elder (Tit 1:6)
5. Qualification for a deacon (1 Tim 3:12)
6. Qualification for a worthy widow (1 Tim 5:9)
7. Every New Testament command for a husband or wife assumes monogamy in the commandments. (Mk 10:12, 1 Cor 7:3, Eph 5:33, etc.)
8. The comparison of Christ and the church to a husband and wife relies on a monogamous design for marriage (Eph 5:22-23)
9. God clearly states it as His design for marriage in the New Testament (1 Cor 7:2)

On the same hand, there are multiple examples of the pitfalls of polygamy:

1. Sarah and Hagar fought (Gen 16:4)
2. Rachel and Leah fought over Jacob (Gen 29:30-31)
3. Hannah and Penninah’s rivalry (1 Sam 1:2-6)
4. Solomon’s idolatrous wives (1 Kings 11:4)

Our problem is that God never specifically condemns these men for their polygamy. It is that silence on this particular issue that gives us the greatest consternation. However, we must remember that silence on a particular issue is not the same as God’s approval of the behavior. Everyone can agree that the Scriptures overwhelmingly approve of and allow monogamy while the evidence for polygamy is suspect at best.

We now enter into the issue of opinion, and anything we say must be left in that realm. My opinion is that if a man had multiple wives before obeying the gospel, he would not be required to divorce any of them. However, once someone becomes a christian, they are commanded by God to only seek out one spouse for a lifetime (1 Cor 7:2).

Is salvation by faith alone, or faith plus works, or just works?

 

Sincerely,
Faithfully Worked Up

Dear Faithfully Worked Up,

The Scriptures clearly say we are saved by faith (Heb 10:39), but they also clearly say that we are saved by hope (Rom 8:24), endurance (Matt 24:13), calling on the name of the Lord (Acts 2:21), confessing Christ (Rom 10:9), the gospel (1 Cor 15:1-2), and baptism (1 Pet 3:21)... just to name a few.  All of these conditions are requirements of salvation.  We cannot cherry-pick what conditions we like or do not like.

Jas 2:14-21 explicitly states the importance of working for Christ.  The work James is talking about isn't about earning salvation - but about loyal service to Christ.  God expects us to bear fruit for Him (Jhn 15:8), work to grow (1 Pet 2:2), and keep His commandments (Jhn 15:14).  Like a transmission and an engine in a car - faith and works function together and need each other.

Is there any way to lose your salvation?

 

Sincerely,
Heaven-Bound

Dear Heaven-Bound,

Yes, you can lose your salvation - but not by accident.  There are two extremes when it comes to discussing salvation.

One extreme is the Calvinistic view that your salvation is never in jeopardy regardless of what you do.  This view is called 'Perseverance of the Saints' - the belief that if you are saved, you will always persevere without ever a need to worry about your salvation.  This view is simply not Biblical.  Consider several verses from the book of Hebrews.  Heb 6:4-6 talks about 'enlightened partakers of the Holy Spirit' (certainly this refers to saved Christians) who then 'fall away' and 'crucify afresh the Son of God'.  There can be no doubt that this is talking about people losing their salvation.  Heb. 10:26-27 talks about knowledgeable Christians rejecting the gospel and the terrifying expectation of judgment to come upon them.  Paul said he feared that his preaching had been in vain to the Galatian brethren because they were turning away from the pure word of God (Gal 4:11, Gal 1:6).  Yes, we most certainly must watch how we live and act so as to not miss the prize of heaven (1 Cor 9:25-27).

The other extreme is to have zero confidence in your salvation.  This is the attitude of "unless I am living perfectly, I am going to be lost."  This view is also wrong.  Christ died to save sinners (1 Tim 1:15), and it is His blood that pays the price for your entrance to heaven (1 Pet 1:18-19).  Your salvation is not dependent upon perfect living but FAITHFUL living (Eph. 2:8): hearing God's word (Rom 10:17) and then living by that Word (Jas 2:14-18) to the best of your ability.  Perfection is not a requirement of salvation in Christ - commitment is.  A committed Christian, though he often may fall short of who he wants to be, can be confident in his eternal reward.

I grew up with a very "secular" type of Christianity; I was always taught that the end times will resemble how it's depicted in the "Left Behind" novels. Is that the way the Bible actually describes it?

Sincerely,


Left In Doubt

Dear Left In Doubt,

No, the Left Behind books are pure fiction.  The Left Behind series written by Tim Lahaye and Jerry B. Jenkins is a literal interpretation of the book of Revelation with a twist of dramatic effect and a dash of denominational tomfoolery.  The key words are ‘literal interpretation’.  Should the book of Revelation be taken as a literal book with real dragons, sea monsters, gold paved streets, and bowls that contain the destruction of mankind?  The answer is 'NO'.

The apostle John wrote the book of Revelation and said that it was a book of signs and symbols (Rev. 1:1).  The context states over and over that things are not what they seem.  Candlesticks representing churches (Rev 1:20), a lamb representing Jesus (Rev 5:5-6), white linen representing the righteous saints (Rev 19:8), and a dragon representing Satan (Rev 12:9) are just a few examples of how we would really miss the whole point of the book if we took it literally.

Furthermore, John makes it clear that the book of Revelation isn’t about what will happen at the end of time – it is what would happen to the christians very soon.  Twice in the introduction of the book John mentions that the things in this book would soon come to be (Rev 1:1 and Rev 1:3).  John wrote to the christians of the first century to prepare them for a persecution they were soon to face.  The Left Behind series makes for fun reading, but they do not at all represent God’s message to John.

Instead, we are told by the apostle Paul that the end of time will come like a ‘thief in the night’ (1 Thess 5:2), and Peter reiterates that fact (2 Pet 3:10).  The reality is that no one knows when Christ will return, so we must live every day as though He might (1 Thess 5:8-9).