Does God care why someone goes to church?  My son was told that he could not go to church because he was going for the wrong reasons... he was attending and met a girl who also attends that church.

Sincerely,
Pew-Sitter

Dear Pew-Sitter,

Yes, God cares why someone attends services, but that doesn’t mean we should ban someone from coming just because they are attending with less than perfect motives.

Ultimately, God wants us to attend services, so we might praise Him with a broken and contrite heart (Ps 51:16-17).  He also wants us to attend services, so we might provoke others to love and good works (Heb 10:24-25).  In a perfect world, everyone would have God and others on their minds when they got together with the church… but we don’t live in a perfect world.

Many people have ulterior motives for going to church, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t welcome.  Paul even recognized that unbelievers will often attend church right alongside christians (1 Cor 14:16).  This is a positive thing.  Regardless of why someone goes to services, they are hearing the gospel and have an opportunity to learn from it.  No one should be denied the opportunity to see God’s Word in action.

{To our AYP Readers – the following is a follow-up to the post “A “Pastor” Problem”.  In order to fully appreciate this post, you should go back and read the previous question.}

Thanks for writing me back.  I hear what you are saying; I think that my father-in-law should be pushing me to the next level.  My wife still does not want to leave her dad’s church, but I have to do what GOD is calling me to do.  I want to please GOD and not man, so I am getting myself together, so I can do the will of GOD for my life.  And you are right if we start doing things GOD’s way and not our way (sic-AYP).  What do I do now that I realize this?  I could lose my wife to her dad.  I am praying for things to change, but until then, I will stay on bended knees.  Please give more insight, please.

 

Sincerely,
Pastored Pastor

Dear Pastored Pastor,

I’m not sure that you do understand what we are saying.  We are saying that the church you are a part of is not God’s church.  You are not a pastor in the Lord’s church, nor have you ever been.  You were ordained to fulfill a position that isn’t found in the Bible and serve in an apostate congregation.  You shouldn’t be “pushed to the next level”; you should start over again.  You are not abiding within the doctrine of Christ and His Word is not in you (2 Jn 1:9).

If you really do want to serve God, and we pray you do, you will have to leave this church.  Christ said that He would set families against themselves (Matt 10:34-36).  If you choose to find a faithful church (please read “Finding A Church” and “Preacher Interrogation”), it will set you against your wife and father-in-law.  You will need to start over and look at the Bible as your standard for all your behavior.  Nicodemus, a Pharisee, feared what Jesus’ preaching meant for His position, but ultimately – the truth is the truth (Jhn 3:1-2).  We must be prepared to do whatever it takes to put the Lord first.  You need to leave man’s religion and start a new life, never again adding or taking away from God’s standards (Rev 22:18-19).

I am a pastor under my father-in-law, and I felt the LORD calling me out to start a work for Him, but my father-in-law does not want to let me go.  I have been ordained as a pastor for four years under him, and I have done all he has asked me to do.  My wife has only been under her father her whole life and does not want to leave him because there are not a lot of people there.  This is a hurting thing because GOD is call me, but my wife will not go, and my father-in-law doesn’t want me to leave.  PLEASE HELP.

Sincerely,
Pastored Pastor

Dear Pastored Pastor,

Your problem is that you are part of a false church.  You say that you “are a pastor under my father-in-law”.  Show us where the Bible gives an example of a pastor (also known as a elder, bishop, or overseer) being under the authority of another pastor!  You are frustrated because when we don’t do things God’s way, we always get frustrated.  We recommend you read “Elders” and “What’s In A Name” to see the importance of God’s criteria for pastors.  Perhaps we are missing something, but there is absolutely no reason we should organize a church differently than God has.  God placed a specific leadership structure in place for congregations: elders/pastors who lead, deacons who serve and help the elders, and the rest of the membership (Php 1:1).  Anything other than that pattern is ungodly.

We often tell the people that write into AskYourPreacher to ask their own church leadership why they do what they do.  Since you ARE the church leadership, we are asking you:

• Where in the Bible can you see this pattern?

We urge you to write back into the site, and we will post your answer to the question verbatim (please keep your answer succinct, just like we do – 250 words or less).  If we are wrong, we would like to be corrected.  We, and our readership, look forward to your response.

What does the Bible say about a pastor who is rumored to have had an affair and is divorced as a result?  Should he still pastor the church?  I can forgive.  I guess my question is: does God want us to stay or find a new church home?

Sincerely,
We All Fall Short

Dear We All Fall Short,

A pastor is the same as an elder (Acts 20:17), a bishop (1 Tim 3:1), and an overseer (‘overseer’ is another translation for the word ‘bishop)… all four titles represent the same job.  A pastor/elder/bishop/overseer has certain qualifications that God says they must meet in order to be appointed.  Those qualifications are laid out in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9.  One of those qualifications is that the pastor/elder/bishop/overseer needs to be a husband of one wife (Tit 1:6, 1 Tim 3:2).  Literally, ‘husband of one wife’ means ‘a one woman man’.  If a man has had an affair, he has proven that he is not ‘a one woman man’.  It is not a matter of forgiveness (if he repents, you should forgive him {Lk 17:3} ); it is a matter of meeting the criteria set by God.  A man who has had an affair can be a christian, but he is unqualified to be a pastor/elder/bishop/overseer.  It sounds like you may need to find a new church; we recommend reading “Finding A Church” and “Preacher Interrogation” to help you in your search for a faithful, Bible-only congregation.

The following is a follow up to the question “Almost Home Alone”:

 

Does it not also say, “Where one or two are gathered in My name, so shall I be there also”?  When you come together, you are assembled.  I do appreciate this site.  My friend (name omitted-AYP) showed it to me.  The first churches were small and met in homes.  In Alaska, sometimes there were only there or four people in our churches.

Sincerely,
Home Bound

Dear Home Bound,

Yes, it does say that where "two or three are gathered in My name, there shall I be" (Matt 18:20).  However, that is simply to point out that size doesn't matter for fellowship with Christ.  If you are saying that you and your mother are forming your own church in your home – that is one thing.  However, what you said was that you were unable to join the church on most Sundays but still considered yourself a member of that congregation.  Many congregations do meet in homes, and that is completely appropriate (Philemon 1:2).  However, your situation is not one of a congregation forming in a home… but of two un-well people who cannot attend and be with the church.  There is a distinction between those two situations.  Two sick and homebound individuals do not have the responsibility of taking the Lord’s Supper, but a church gathered together on the first day of the week does (1 Cor 11:20-21).