The elders at the church I go to are on my case.  I don't think my family needs to go to church all day on Sunday.  God says I'm in charge of my own family.  What verse can I use to remind them that it's my right to decide?

 

Sincerely,
Head Of My House

Dear Head Of My House,

If it is a question of what is your right – just explain to them that you have freewill like every human since Adam and Eve, and nobody can make you do anything you don’t want to do.  However, I think your real question is if there are any verses that explain that your family doesn’t need to go to services all day on Sunday.  That is a slightly different question.

Every congregation must decide for itself how often and how long it will meet.  This is an issue of expediency and wisdom.  Some congregations may choose to meet only once on a Sunday; others may choose to meet twice… or even more!  The Bible does not give any specific guidelines.  It does, however, provide some principles that must be contemplated by every individual and every congregation.

1. Sunday is “The Lord’s Day” (Rev 1:10).  Though there is some debate over what the apostle John meant by using the term ‘the Lord’s Day’, most commentators (including some of the earliest church writers) agree that the term ‘the Lord’s Day’ refers to ‘Sunday’.  Sunday is intended to be a day dedicated and set aside by christians for the worship and service of God.  If we only meet for 45 to 60 minutes in the morning, can we fairly say that we treated the whole day as belonging to the Lord?
2. The Old Testament Sabbath example.  We no longer have the Sabbath in the New Testament (no matter what the Seventh Day Adventists say).  However, the Sabbath does teach a principle.  God, in His infinite wisdom, thought it was important for the Jews to set aside one entire day every week to rest, reflect, and worship God.  Even though we are not bound by the Sabbath laws, that practice was given to us as an example to teach us something about the spiritual needs of mankind (1 Cor 10:11).  How much of our time are we setting aside for the pure and undistracted worship of God?
3. The assembly and worship service is not merely a duty; it is an essential tool God has given us to protect our souls.  When christians forsake the assembly, they are headed down a path that leads to destruction (Heb 10:25-27).  When we assemble together on a regular basis, we provoke one another to love and good works (Heb 10:24).  When christians come together to sing songs to God, they admonish each other as a side-effect (Col 3:16).  The church doesn’t just need you; you need the church.

When the elders of a congregation set the meeting times, they should be considering these principles for the health of the congregation.  There is no hard and fast rule for how much time to set aside, but it is important to consider whether we are devoting enough time to worshipping God.  In general, we here at AYP err on the side of liberality.  We would rather hear, “You worshipped more than was needed” than “You didn’t worship enough” on the Day of Judgment.

Does it say anything in the Bible about what clothes to wear to church?  My boyfriend refuses to spend money right now on a suit, and I don't even own a dress, but our clothes are decent and would be clean and pressed.  We enjoy your website and wondered what your thoughts are on this subject.  Thank You.

 

Sincerely,
Wearing Our Best

Dear Wearing Our Best,

Go to services and worship God.  There are only two Biblical teachings on what we should wear to services.

1. Dress modestly (1 Tim 2:9).  We should always dress modestly.  The word ‘modest’ means ‘appropriate’.  In your case, you are going to worship God and you are wearing the best clothes you have – that is appropriate.  If you had fine suits and fancy dresses and instead of wearing them you showed up in a t-shirt and holey jeans, it wouldn’t be appropriate, but you are trying your best to show God that you value Him and value the time you have to worship Him by wearing the best you own.  Your best is ALWAYS acceptable.
2. The second teaching is actually for everyone else.  God says that we shouldn’t be respecters of persons.  We shouldn’t treat the rich brother better than the poor brother (Jas 2:2-4).  As christians, we can’t afford to judge people by their wealth or lack of wealth.  If someone comes to services, tries their best to act and dress respectfully, and honestly is trying to seek God – they deserve our time and kindness.

So go to services this Sunday, and if you are trying to find a faithful church to attend, feel free to read “Finding A Church” and “Preacher Interrogation” to help you find God’s people in your area.  You can also contact us here at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we will do our best to help you find a faithful congregation.

Hi, I'm loving your website right now; thanks for sharing this great site with us!

 

I have a question in regards to speaking in tongues.  A co-worker of mine (who states she is a christian) and I have many talks about biblical topics.  She told me the other day that she has spoken in tongues before.  She also said that she was filled with the Holy Spirit prior to her baptism.  She believes that since she is filled with the Holy Spirit, she is able to speak in tongues.  I know this ability was for the apostles and we do not have this gift today... but how do I go about teaching her this from the New Testament?  I know we all have gifts, but I want to show her this is not a gift that we are bestowed with today.  Help please!

Sincerely,
English Please

Dear English Please,

The easiest way to handle someone who says they have spoken in tongues is to simply ask, “Oh, what tongue did you speak in?”  Invariably, they will be tongue-tied because they will have no clue what you are talking about.  At this point, you can begin to explain that the Bible says speaking in tongues was a miraculous ability that allowed someone to speak in REAL languages that they had never learned (Acts 2:7-11).  The charismatic and Pentecostal churches teach that speaking in tongues is a “hidden” or “secret” language that can only be understood by the angelic beings unless an interpreter is present.  That is hogwash.

The whole purpose of speaking in tongues was to allow the gospel to be spread rapidly.  The gift of speaking in tongues was only useful if it allowed someone to teach another person God’s prophetic word (1 Cor 14:6-9).  Unless your friend was miraculously able to speak another real language that allowed her to teach a real person the gospel – then she will have to realize what she did wasn’t from God.  Then you can begin to teach her that miracles no longer happen (miracles being defined as things that break the natural laws of this world), and they are no longer needed because we have the complete Word of God.  See the posts, “I Dreamed A Dream” and “Three Cheers For Miracles!” for further details on how to explain this concept to your friend.

In answer to a previous question, you said: "The church’s work should be simple. The church of the first century wasn’t involved in every community and political arena. Their work was focused on three things – caring for needy christians (Acts 4:34), preaching to the lost, and teaching the saved (Acts 15:35)."

My church wants to sponsor a speaker to speak (it’s a lecture, not preaching) inside of our church building.  We would charge an entrance fee (or ask for a certain donation) and would pay the speaker for his time, accommodations, and travel expenses.  My conscious is deeply violated by this idea, and I believe it is unethical to have this forum in the church building itself - I don't mind if it is in a convention center or hotel or other location.  I will not be attending this lecture, but I feel like if my church does host this speaker, I can't go there and support them without violating my conscience.  What are your thoughts on this?

Sincerely, Conscientious Objector

Dear Conscientious Objector,

A church doing this doesn’t just violate your conscience; it violates God’s laws. The church of the first century wasn’t interested in the things of this world, nor was it involved in furthering secular education and studies. Jesus even said that His kingdom, the church, was not of this world (Jhn 18:36). The church and any teaching it does should impart spiritual guidance to people (Rom 15:27). This trend of congregations getting wrapped up in earthly knowledge, politics, etc. is indeed unethical.

Furthermore, the congregation is using this speaker as a fundraiser! The Bible only provides one way for the church to garner funds – with a collection made every Sunday from amongst its own members (1 Cor 16:1). Bake sales, entrance fees, garage sales, etc. are not Biblical ways for the church to acquire money. Far too often, churches have gotten so wrapped up in how to bring in more money that they are perpetually holding their hand out, begging, demanding, and selling themselves to increase their finances. “Mega-churches” and televangelists are just an extreme form of the epidemic that is sweeping through religion. Instead of giving the gospel away for free, they are selling it to the highest bidder! Simon was swiftly rebuked for this attitude (Acts 8:20), and any church today that tries to “drum up” funds rather than trust the faithful contribution of its members each Lord’s day should be rebuked just as harshly.

This congregation has a serious problem and has made an obvious decision to disregard some of the most basic teachings on the church; you are right to be upset with them. AskYourPreacher recommends that you ask your preacher where he gets the authority for the choices they are making and then swiftly leave unless they change their ways (see “Finding A Church” for help where to go if things don’t improve).

I know that in many of my friends’ churches, they lift and raise their hands during worship.  Is this wrong?

Sincerely, Raising A Concern

Dear Raising A Concern,

The practice of lifting up your hands during worship is traced to 1 Tim 2:8, but unfortunately your friends’ churches misunderstand the verse. There is nothing wrong with literally lifting up your hands to God, but Paul is telling them to “lift up holy hands, without wrath and disputing”. The context is about a certain lifestyle that people were to have. It is similar to the saying, “put your hand to the plow” in Lk 9:62. ‘Lifting up holy hands’ refers to working, laboring, and serving in a godly way. Christians are to serve God faithfully, without arguing and disputing with each other. ‘Lifting up holy hands’ has nothing to do with how high your arms are raised when you pray; it has to do with the character of the life we live. Are we living holy lives where our hands serve God (1 Cor 4:12)? Raising your hands during worship has the impression of godliness, but it denies the actual power of God’s command to ‘lift up holy hands’ (2 Tim 3:5).