5 minutes a day 5 days a week - a year of Bible Wisdom

5 minutes a day 5 days a week - a year of Bible Wisdom

My boyfriend and I have been together for five and a half years.  Since graduating college, we have been working and getting ready to apply to graduate school.  We plan to get married but agree that the right time may not be for another four years.  Is it possible to have a secret Christian marriage now and a "real" wedding for family and friends when we are financially prepared?  Saving sex for marriage is very important to us, even though we are (and have been for some time) sexually ready.  Thank you for your advice.

Sincerely,
Bride-To-Be

Dear Bride-To-Be,

Secrecy is never a good idea… but especially when that secret will affect your marriage, your family, your reputation, tempt you to sin, and degrade your influence as christians – a secret marriage would do all of those things.  Have you considered:

1. There is really no Biblical precedent for being “married before God” and not married before the law and family.  Christians are supposed to obey the laws of the land (Rom 13:1-3).
2. You would be putting yourselves in a position where you look like you are living together (or sleeping together) without being married.  This means that you are sending the wrong message to mankind.  Christians are supposed to shine as lights in the world (Matt 5:16) and live a “good manner of life in Christ” that they may put to shame those who revile the name of Christ (1 Pet 3:16).
3. You are setting yourselves up to be deceptive.  When you file for taxes, are you going to say you aren’t married?  If great aunt Elma asks when you were married… what will you say?  There are lots of problems with this arrangement.
4. What will you tell your children down the road?  Will you lie to them about when you were married?  Will you tell them the whole story, and would you feel comfortable with them doing the same when they get to that stage of life?

All of these are potential pitfalls to a secret marriage arrangement.  The truth sets us free (Jhn 8:32), and deception ensnares us.  However, we would offer you an alternative.  God specifically teaches that it is better to marry than to burn (1 Cor 7:9).  There is nothing dishonorable with marrying when you are poor.  Keep the ceremony simple and small, be honest about your financial situation, and make it clear that you would rather be poor and married than wait to begin your life together.  It is obvious that you are committed to each other (five and a half years!), so there isn’t an issue of this being a snap decision.  After all, you can always have a lavish renewal of vows ceremony at your five-year anniversary.

5 minutes a day 5 days a week - a year of Bible Wisdom

My husband and I love science, exploration, and discovery documentaries.  They are very interesting, but unlike a lot of people, I believe the Lord made all these things on the earth for us that we may marvel at His intelligent design of all things on this planet and the universe and give Him the glory.

As a christian, I personally believe in the whole explanation of the creation.  I also believe that the Word of God is accurate, time-tested, and completely true.  But what does the Bible say to those who believe in evolution?  These people (some believers included) think the description of how man was created may be wrong because of the way it is written and because it leaves a lot of room for false interpretation.

And, let's face it, I'm sure that a lot of us have a million questions for the Lord about why the Bible was written the way it was and why certain things are not even talked about.  This gives unbelievers reason to try to place doubt into our minds.  However, would you agree with me that it takes more faith to believe in evolution than it does to believe in God's creation the way it is explained?  I guess my question is as I asked before: what does the Bible say to those who believe only in coincidence and/or evolution?

Sincerely,
Natural Wonderer

Dear Natural Wonderer,

Ironically, the Bible doesn’t say much to those who believe that we are all a cosmic accident.  The only verse in the Bible that specifically deals with atheism is Ps 53:1 which says, “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God.’ ”  From God’s perspective, there is so much abundant evidence of a Creator that an honest heart will admit it.  Statistically, this is also true – even with the rampant spread of evolutionary teachings, only a miniscule percentage (1.6%) of the American population consider themselves atheists.  Rom 1:20 states that God built the universe, so it might stand as ever-sufficient evidence of His existence.

Studying Creation evidence is an enjoyable and wonderful thing.  We here at AYP have an entire section devoted to Bible Evidences, but ultimately, if someone has totally disregarded the existence of God… Psalm 53:1 says they will be a very hard nut to crack.