I'm very depressed and have lost all hope.  I have been married for two years now after three years of courtship.  My marriage lacks intimacy.  No matter how hard I try, I just meet rejection.  He told me that there will be intimacy someday, but he does not know when.  I've basically tried everything to bring back the spark but just meet disappointment.  Is this the way God wants me to be?  Is it okay to live in this marriage, faithful for the sake of keeping the marriage together and for the kids?  Is it all right to stop thinking of my own self and ignore my needs?  I fear and love God and do not want to do anything that He would not approve.  I know God would not want anyone to be unhappy, and I know God wants me to be a faithful person...but what kind of price am I paying?  Please enlighten me and help me deal with this situation.

Sincerely,
Despondent Wife

Dear Despondent Wife,

There are two major concepts that you need to consider in your situation.

1. It is always wrong to get a divorce – except in the case of adultery (Matt 19:9).  No matter how unhappy you are, it would be a sin for you to get a divorce.  Being a christian isn’t about doing what makes us happy… it is about being faithful to God which includes keeping His commandments (Jhn 15:14).  We must be prepared to deny ourselves and follow after Christ (Matt 16:24).  Marriage difficulties are currently your cross to take up and bear.
2. God does want for you to have a happy marriage and family.  He outlines in multiple areas of the Bible how to achieve that.  Eph 5:22-31, Col 3:18-21, and 1 Cor 7:1-5 are great examples of God’s teachings on the subject of marriage.  It is quite possible to have a loving, faithful marriage if you work together and use God’s Word as your guide.  Regardless of what your spouse does, if you obey God’s commands, it will make your marriage better.

Marital problems, though all similar, are unique to each couple.  We highly recommend you find a Biblical counselor (one that teaches Bible principles and NEVER treats divorce as a solution) and that you and your husband begin to get help.  Sometimes, we all need a helping hand (Pr 11:14).

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What characters appear both in the OT and NT?

Sincerely,
Bridging The Books

Dear Bridging The Books,

There is a four-hundred-year gap between the first books of the New Testament and the last book of the Old Testament; consequently, not many people appear in both sections of the Bible.  Here is a list of the few that do:

1. The Father
2. Jesus
3. Holy Spirit
4. Elijah and Moses (appeared at the transfiguration of Jesus – Matt 17:3)
5. Satan

Hope that helps.

5 minutes a day 5 days a week - a year of Bible Wisdom

I know that God is the only one who is good, and I know that my understanding of God may not be complete due to the sin in my life, but I have a problem understanding something.  If I were a parent and I had a newborn son, what kind of environment would I create for him?  Would I create a living room with a couch, a coffee table, TV, etc...?  Would I provide food and drink, companionship, and love?  Of course, I would.  I would want the best for my child.  What kind of parent would you think I was if I put a loaded gun on the coffee table and then told my newborn son that he should not put the gun to his head and pull the trigger.  He can do anything else, but he cannot do this.  Of course, I would want him to listen to me and not blow his brains out.  Now, throw into the mix my hated enemy, allow him into the living room, and allow him to convince the child to pick up the gun.

Why did my Father put the tree in the garden and then let the evil devil into the garden to deceive Adam and Eve?  Why didn’t He protect them and us?  I am confused, and prayer is not helping.  Am I wrong to think of this, or is it my cross to bear?  Please help me.

Sincerely,
Gun Safety

Dear Gun Safety,

If God hadn’t put the tree of the knowledge of good and evil into the garden (Gen 2:9), Adam and Eve wouldn’t really have had free will… which is an integral part of what makes mankind “in the image of God” (Gen 1:27).  If Adam hadn’t had the opportunity to choose to do the wrong thing, he really wouldn’t have had the opportunity to choose to do the right thing either.  It is that choice that sets us apart from the animals.  God made it very clear to Adam and Eve what would happen if they ate of the tree – they would die (Gen 2:17).  Adam and Eve weren’t children; they were full-grown adults with highly developed intellects (consider the fact that Adam had the mental capacity to name all of the animals – Gen 2:20).

God gave Adam and Eve, fully responsible adults, the choice to listen to Him and live – or to ignore Him and die.  They chose death.  Eve knew what she was doing was wrong (Gen 3:2-3), as did Adam.  Their situation isn’t the same as your analogy of a gun with an immature child – these were adults.

Furthermore, God prepared beforehand a way back to Him for those who rebelled (Eph 1:5-6).  God allows us to choose, and through the blood of Christ, He allows us to choose to return to Him (1 Pet 2:25).