Hi.  I am twenty-nine years old and interested in a girl.  Problem is, she was once married, and her husband left her for another girl.  She said she doesn’t care if she ever steps into a church again.  To the best of my knowledge (although I read and look for answers for life in the Bible every day), I cannot get involved with her unless her husband dies.  Where do I go with this?  Is it a sure no-go thing?

 

Sincerely,
Love From Afar

Dear Love From Afar,

She had every right to get a divorce because he left her and committed adultery (Matt 5:32)… but her eligibility is only one of the things you should be concerned about.

You mentioned that she isn’t interested in religion.  You do not want to pursue a relationship with someone who is unwilling to serve Christ.  God warns against becoming tied to a mate whose values don’t equal yours (2 Cor 6:14).  When a christian looks for a spouse, they should search for someone they can marry “in the Lord” (1 Cor 7:39).  There is nothing wrong with building a friendship with this woman, but before it gets too close, make sure that your values match.  You will spend a lifetime with your spouse, but your relationship with the Lord will affect your eternity (Matt 16:26).

5 minutes a day
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1 New Testament in a year

There are 261 weekdays in a year, and there are 260 chapters in the New Testament. By reading one chapter, Monday through Friday, you will read the whole New Testament by the end of the year. The Daily Cup series is to help with that goal.

Happy Studying!

"The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup." -- Psalm 16:5

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Should a Christian do everything possible to maintain life during a health crisis, or accept physical wasting as a blessing and prepare to meet God?

Sincerely,
The Tough Choices

Dear The Tough Choices,

The act of purposefully taking your own life is definitely wrong, but refusing to prolong a terminal illness is a much murkier area.  There is no doubt that suicide is sinful (read “Victim Was The Assailant” for further details), but when someone doesn’t accept surgery, chemotherapy, life-support, etc. – that isn’t suicide.  ‘Do not resuscitate’ orders, living wills, and other such decisions are a matter of wisdom and conscience.

God very clearly teaches that we should be people who value life.  It isn’t our right to presumptuously choose the moment of our death (Eccl 8:8).  Just because we are suffering isn’t necessarily a reason to stop fighting for life.  Suffering can be a very important part of our life here (Eccl 7:14).  The general rule should be to seek to preserve life – even our consciences tell us this.  It is called the “survival instinct”.

On the other hand, there comes a point when continuing to poke, prod, and prolong the life of a body that is obviously dying can offend our conscience as well.  This is where wisdom comes in.  God tells us to ask Him for wisdom (Jas 1:5) and to make conscientious decisions (1 Tim 3:9).  There is no magic answer to your question – only principles to follow in a very difficult time.

I put up with a lot when it comes to a certain person and his family.  Eventually, I completely cut everyone out of my life, and now I’m at peace... my question is: did I do the right thing by letting go?  Did I do the right thing by completely cutting everyone out of my life... or letting go the way I did, or am I supposed to continue to help and be there for them?  It’s hard for me to continue to associate with these people when, in reality, all I want to do is leave them in the past... especially when they go to the same church as I do.

Sincerely,
Cut It Out

Dear Cut It Out,

When dealing with trials amongst brethren, the biggest word we must watch out for is ‘bitterness’.  God warns us that bitterness creeps in and defiles us (Heb 12:15).  Bitterness destroys marriages (Col 3:19); it enslaves us (Acts 8:23); it changes the way we talk (Rom 3:14) and the way we think and feel (Jas 3:14).  If you are dealing with a fellow christian, there must be some redeeming quality within them that you could dwell upon (Php 4:8).  Be very careful to not close your heart off to others – if we won’t forgive, God won’t forgive us (Matt 6:14).  Bitterness comes across in the way we live – with all kindness, we recommend that you examine yourself (1 Cor 11:31) and see whether or not it may be time to soften your heart and let go (Eph 4:31-32).  Cutting yourself off from everyone in your life, especially the church, isn’t the answer.

Can you be baptized and not be saved?

Sincerely,
Water Worries

Dear Water Worries,

People are baptized all the time without being saved!  The word ‘baptism’ comes from the Greek word ‘baptizo’ which means ‘immersion’.  The word ‘baptism’ is the same word that Greeks used when a ship sank to the bottom of the ocean or when someone dove to the bottom of a swimming pool.  In the most technical sense, people are baptized when they take baths, go swimming, etc.  Taking a bath will baptize you, but it definitely won’t save you.

Baptism is only effective when it is done by faith (Col 2:12) and by the authority of Christ (Acts 2:38).  When we are immersed in water for the purpose of appealing to God for a clear conscience (1 Pet 3:21), then we are saved.  Baptism is only effective when combined with belief in Christ (Mk 16:16).