Did the first century church celebrate special events that commemorated each person's journey of faith?  In several Christian denominations, there are events like that called 'sacraments'.  I am wondering specifically about the sacrament of marriage and how it fits into the first century church and also what the Bible says is proper practice for this type of event.

Sincerely, Practices Made Perfect

Dear Practices Made Perfect,

The Bible doesn’t have any sacraments – but it does teach there are some important events in a christian’s life.The term ‘sacrament’ is not a Biblical word - it is a Catholic one.The Catholic Encyclopedia describes ‘sacrament’ thusly:

Noun, a visible sign of an inward grace, esp. one of the solemn Christian rites considered to have been instituted by Jesus Christ to symbolize or confer grace: the sacraments of the Protestant churches are baptism and the Lord's Supper; the sacraments of the Roman Catholic and Greek Orthodox churches are baptism, confirmation, the Eucharist, matrimony, penance, holy orders, and extreme unction. (Catholic Encyclopedia)

Using that definition, we could loosely say a sacrament is equivalent to an event that is commanded by God for every christian to partake in.There are some scheduled events like that in the Bible:

• Baptism to become a christian (Rom 6:4)
• weekly observance of the Lord’s Supper (Acts 20:7)
• weekly contribution (1 Cor 16:1)

These are the only things even remotely close to a ‘sacrament’ (although that still isn’t a Biblical term) ever seen in the New Testament church.Marriage wouldn’t be on that list because marriage is not required of every christian.

This does not mean marriage isn’t instituted by God.  It is - as early as Adam and Eve (Gen 2:24).God has never laid down specific rules for the marriage ceremony.  He has left those details up to individual cultures.God’s concern has always been about how we act within the sacred bonds of matrimony (Col 3:18-19).  He leaves the 'wedding feast' to our discretion.

My sister fell away a few years ago and has been living with her boyfriend, soon to be husband. She hasn't been living a life that is outlined in the Bible in any way shape or form. Should I withdraw myself from her completely, keep my distance but still talk to her, or act like nothing is wrong and carry on like normal?

Truly,
Worried and Confused Sibling

Dear Worried and Confused Sibling,

I suggest communicating your concerns and then having as normal a relationship with your sister as is possible under the circumstances.  Close relatives and loved ones falling away can be torturous on the rest of the family.  Your relationship isn't as clear cut as the rest of the brethren in this case.  The church is given strict orders to withdraw and not associate with a wayward brother or sister (1 Cor 5:13). However, the immediate family doesn't have the same "black and white" guidelines.  In fact, we see that they sometimes are commanded to do the opposite- as in the case of an unbelieving spouse (1 Cor 7:13).

There can be no doubt that your relationship has changed with your sister.  To deny the change would go against your conscience (which is wrong - 1 Tim 3:9).  I recommend a heartfelt prayerful letter addressing the issue.  Tell her how you feel about her choices, how much she matters to you, and that your concerns for her and her husband-to-be are out of love and that you only voice them because your relationship with her matters to you.  That kind of letter leaves the door open for further/discussion and interaction while also appeasing your conscience.  You will know that you have "done what you can" and don't have to worry about every family gathering, phone call, visit, etc. being seen as passive approval of her choices.

     Could you please tell me what God’s Word says about gambling and show me the Scriptures?  I feel in myself it's wrong, and money and time could be better spent.

Sincerely,
Nagging Doubts

Dear Nagging Doubts,

The Bible never specifically mentions gambling as a sin, but it doesn’t have to be specifically mentioned to be wrong.  There are a great many things surrounding gambling that are sinful.  Consider that:

1. Gambling focuses around money and greed.  God warns us clearly about being fixated with money (1 Tim 6:10, Heb 13:5).  God wants us to be satisfied with our income (Eccl 5:10).  Contentment is a major component of spiritual maturity (1 Tim 6:6).
2. Gambling is used as a means to gain money without working for it.  God finds pleasure in people working for their livelihood (2 Thess 3:10-12, Pr 10:4).
3. Gambling wastes money because, ultimately, the house does always win.  God expects us to be good stewards (1 Cor 4:2) and save for the future (Pr 6:6-8).
4. Gambling and the places where gambling occurs are often associated with other sinful things.  There is a reason Las Vegas is called “Sin City”.  That industry is not one that a christian should be supporting (2 Cor 6:16-17).
5. Gambling can be very addictive.  We can only have one master (Lk 16:13).

     Does Matt 5:13-16 contradict Matt 6:1-4?  I get confused with this one.

Sincerely,
Perpendicular Passages

Dear Perpendicular Passages,

Matt. 5:13-16 deals with living a godly life that is prepared to glorify God; Matt 6:1-4 deals with living a godly live that is prepared to glorify yourself.  Matt 5:16 says that our lights should shine, so men can see our good works and glorify God… that means that we must be giving the glory to God and seeking to bring Him honor, even if that leads to us being persecuted for our beliefs and shunned by others (Matt 5:11-12).

On the other hand, Matt 6:1-4 deals with the man who does what is right only when it brings him praise and popularity.  That is the life of a hypocrite.  Our service to God must be sincere and honest.  The people we are in private need to be the same people we are in public – wholly devoted to Christ.

     My question is regarding the appointing of elders.  Is a man an appropriate candidate if he has young (say, under twelve years old) children still living at home?  My understanding is that to be an elder, the man's children must also have obeyed the gospel and be baptized and leading godly lives.  How can a child do that?  And if so, what if in five or six years’ time, the child (now a young adult) falls away from God?  Is that man still qualified to be an elder?  Would he have to step down if one of his kids fell away?

Sincerely,
The Children Challenge

Dear The Children Challenge,

The Bible gives two qualifications regarding an elder’s relationship to his children.  The elder must have believing children that are in good standing in the Lord’s church (Tit 1:6), and he must be a good manager of his household, able to keep his children in submission (1 Tim 3:5).  This means that at least some of the man’s children must have reached the age when they have chosen to become Christians and serve the Lord, and none of his children have abandoned the faith.  It also means that even if his children are Christians, he must have shown himself to have managed his home and reared them in a godly manner.  So, yes, at least some of his children must be old enough to have obeyed the Word through baptism.

As for what should happen if one of his children falls away, good brethren are evenly divided on what to do, and a lot of it has to do with the connection between his children being faithful and his management of his home.  The children aren’t being appointed to an eldership – the man is.  The children’s faithfulness is factored in because it is a reflection upon their father’s ability to manage and lead.  As a child becomes older, eventually, the child is no longer under their father’s roof and rule, and their choices reflect less upon the parent’s choices and more upon their own adult decisions.  Depending upon the circumstances (i.e. did the child fall away while still under the father’s rule, or did it happen twenty years after the child left the house), good brethren disagree on when an adult child’s behavior stops reflecting on the parent.  Some feel that at any stage, an elder’s son/daughter falling away disqualifies him, and others feel that there reaches a point when the child is on their own and no longer reflects upon the qualifications of the father.  It is best to not be too dogmatic in such cases and leave these sorts of decisions to the wisdom of each congregation if an unfortunate circumstance forces them to address it.