Is a person that just got saved supposed to treat friends that she has been around for 10 to 15 years badly?  I mean, is she supposed to stop conversing with unsaved people that she’s been friends with for a long time?

Sincerely,
Out In The Cold

Dear Out In The Cold,

A new Christian might have to put some distance between themselves and certain friends – a lot of it depends on the choices those friends are making.  It is sometimes hard for those outside of Christ to realize it, but becoming a Christian is a completely new life with new priorities and new direction.  Jesus compared it to being born again (Jhn 3:3).  When someone becomes a Christian, they make a commitment to God to repent of their sinful ways (Acts 3:19) and let their life be guided by Christ (Gal 2:20).  Any sort of drastic change in priorities of that magnitude will affect every corner of a person’s life, including their friendships.

1 Cor 15:33 says that bad company can corrupt us.  If someone becomes a Christian and still hangs out at the bar with their cussing drinking buddies, they aren’t likely to live that new life that Christ commanded.  It isn’t enough to say they will change; a new Christian needs to put themselves in an environment that will help them grow.  Sometimes, that means severing unhealthy friendships.

Having said that, becoming a Christian doesn’t mean all relationships have to end or that it is okay to be mean or unkind to people.  But if two people’s lives are going different places, it is natural for them to become distant.

     I know there are verses in the Bible that condemn homosexuality, and the church is fervent on that.  The Bible also says in Deuteronomy 21:18-21 to put to death rebellious children, and in Lev 24:16, it says to stone foreigners, and in Deut 13:5-10, it says to kill false prophets and anyone that serves false gods.  I’ve also come to understand that the Bible endorses slavery.  Why aren’t all things being preached about, and why aren’t we held accountable for all of them?

Sincerely,
You Forgot Something!

Dear You Forgot Something,

You bring up a fair point.  It isn’t okay to fervently support the beliefs in the Bible that we like while ignoring the ones we don’t.  That is called subtracting from God’s Word, and it is strictly condemned (Rev 22:18-19).  God expects us to take the total sum of His Word and apply it (Ps 119:160), and part of taking the sum of God’s Word is keeping it in context.

Here are a couple of things to remember:

1. The Old Testament laws should never be used as proof verses for Christian practices.  The Old Testament laws were for Jews, and the New Testament laws are for Christians.  Click here to watch a short video on the difference between the Old and New Testament.  The Bible does clearly condemn rebelling against parents (Col 3:20), idolatry (1 Cor 10:14), and false teaching (Jas 3:1)… but the commands to stone those who did such things were given to the nation of Israel, not the kingdom of Christ.
2. The Bible doesn’t endorse slavery, but it does make provision for how a godly person can live in a culture that has slavery.  After all, when a slave becomes a Christian, he doesn’t automatically get yanked from his bondage and made free.  The Bible teaches us how to live godly in all cultures and scenarios (1 Pet 3:21).  You might like to read our post, “Freedom Is Better”, for more details on the slavery question.

The Bible does make it clear that we can’t pick and choose the verses we like and the sins we prefer to condemn.  The apostles taught the whole counsel of God, and so should we (Acts 20:27).  At our congregation in Monroe, that is exactly what we strive to do every day.

     The Bible teaches "love and pray for your enemies".  Our only real enemy is Satan.  Please explain; I don't understand and am confused.  Are we really supposed to love Satan and pray for him?

Sincerely,
Hard On The Heart

Dear Hard On The Heart,

The Bible teaches that anyone that stands against God is God’s enemy.  Jas 4:4 says that anyone who is a friend of the world is an enemy of God.  Rom 12:20 talks about giving food and drink to your enemy if they are hungry or thirsty – only people hunger and thirst… you can’t feed Satan.  Rom 5:10 describes Christians as previously being enemies of God until they were reconciled with Him through Christ.

An enemy is an adversary.  If you perceive someone as your adversary, then God says that you should treat them with love and kindness in spite of your differences (Lk 6:35).

     What place, if any, does technology serve to aid in preaching God's Word?  Recently, our preacher has been using short videos in his sermons to make his point.  This is the first time I've ever seen this after over three decades of attending the church of Christ, which is why I am curious and a bit skeptical.  Thank you in advance for your wisdom on this matter!

Sincerely,
Wireless

Dear Wireless,

Technology isn’t wrong, but it must be used responsibly.  Webster’s defines ‘technology’ as ‘machinery and equipment developed from scientific knowledge’.  At one point, all the aids we take for granted today were new technology (i.e. song books, chalkboards, whiteboards, overhead projectors, digital projectors, microphones, etc.), and with every technological change, people have always had a sense of discomfort because we are all creatures of habit.  However, the discomfort isn’t created because of scriptural issues; it is there because of our personal comforts and routines.  As one person said, “We like what we like.”  Jesus used a boat as a preaching aid (Mk 4:1), and Jesus even used His miraculous abilities as teaching tools (Matt 21:19-21).  What tools we have at our disposal, we have the right to use for teaching.  There isn’t anything wrong with them.

However, that doesn’t give a preacher a blanket check to go crazy!  The Bible says that just because you can do something doesn’t mean it is wise to do so (1 Cor 10:23).  A teacher is held accountable for what he teaches, and he is held to a very strict standard (Jas 3:1).  Your preacher is accountable for whatever is on these videos that he is showing.  It is pretty difficult to find videos that are doctrinally sound (before we started making them on YouTube, we did a lot of looking!), and if he isn’t careful with the material, it can spread to false teaching quite easily.  The issue isn't technology; it is the proper wisdom in applying it.

     I recently started going to a church which does a ‘Celebrate Recovery’.  One of the rules the preacher has is that you don't date for a year.  I understand this.  We need to build our relationship with God.  However, one individual started dating the preacher's daughter.  The preacher approves.  Yet, other members are still required not to date for a year even though the preacher allowed an exception for his daughter.  How should I handle this?  Should I find another church?

Sincerely,
Double Standard

Dear Double Standard,

This preacher isn’t teaching people to follow the Bible; he is teaching them to follow him.  The Bible strictly warns against adding to God’s Word (Rev 22:18-19), going beyond the Bible (1 Cor 4:6), and making our own rules (Mk 7:8, Col 2:8).  This preacher is doing exactly that.  The Bible never says anything about not dating for a year or that a preacher has a right to mandate that upon members of the Lord’s church.  The reason this preacher made an exception for his daughter is because this preacher has set himself up as the authority.  This church doesn’t belong to Jesus; it belongs to this man.  Don’t walk; RUN away from this church.  If you’d like help finding a Bible-guided church in your area, just let us know.  Our email is askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.