This girl and I have been dating for almost eight months, and we truly believe with all our hearts that we are meant for each other; we've even had dreams about each other with kids, too, but her parents won’t give us permission to be together, and her sister is even telling us we’re wrong, but she stared dating even younger than us.  The thing is, my girl is scared of getting in trouble.  What do we do?

Sincerely,
The Guy

Dear The Guy,

The right thing to do is probably not what you want to hear.  Col 3:20 says that it brings joy to God when children obey their parents… that is what you should do.  As much as it may be painfully difficult for you two to put your dating and family plans on hold, the right thing to do is to respect her parents’ wishes.

Eph 6:1-3 says that God blesses children when they obey their parents.  That means that even if her parents are making the wrong call, you will be blessed by honoring them.  God causes all things to work together for good (Rom 8:28), and when you do the hard thing, it inevitably turns out better in the long run.

It sounds like you are surrounded by people that you disagree with, but these people still care about you and have your best interests at heart.  Parents and children don’t always see eye-to-eye, so it is an act of faith for children to obey their parents even when they disagree.  God will bless you both if you show patience.  After all, “not now” isn’t the same as “not ever”.

     Where, if any place, does it give reference to political answers other than Jesus turning over the tables in the temple?

Sincerely,
Politico

Dear Politico,

Politics have always intermingled with religion because many political issues (such as abortion, homosexuality, etc.) have moral implications, but religion is not the same as politics.  Jesus’ attitude toward the government was that we should pay our taxes (Lk 20:25), obey the laws (Rom 13:1), pray for the rulers, and hope for a quiet life (1 Tim 2:1-2).  Politics are a big deal in this country (especially during such volatile political times), but Christianity transcends such earthly disputes and battles.  Stand by God’s Word in all issues, and you will always be fine.

What does it mean by ‘verbal abusers’ will not see the kingdom of God?

Sincerely,
Sick Of Hearing It

Dear Sick Of Hearing It,

The verse you are probably thinking of is 1 Cor 6:10 which states that “revilers” will not inherit the kingdom of God.  The kingdom of God is the church that Jesus purchased with His own blood (read “Kingdom = Church” for a detailed explanation of why they are synonyms), and revilers aren’t going to have the benefit of having Jesus’ blood purchase their forgiveness.

A ‘reviler’ is someone that is abusive verbally and uses language as a weapon to harm or speak reproachfully about others.  The same root word is used in 1 Pet 3:9 to describe how Christians shouldn’t fight angry speech with angry speech, but we should instead let our speech offer a blessing even to those that are mean and hurtful.

In short, Christians cannot be mean and angry speaking people who rail against God or rail against our fellow man.  Our words should be seasoned with grace and attempt to build up, not tear down (Col 4:6, Eph 4:29).

[This question is a follow-up to “Love For The Unrepentant”.]

     I can see how I got the concept of forgiveness confused, but there's one thing unanswered on a statement made by that brother.  How would forgiving the unrepentant person be considered superseding God?  Am I in the act of blasphemy when doing this?  Would I be breaking a command of God?  How will I know if the person really repented, or if they're only saying it without actually doing the works?  I need further understanding because this is what recently led me to question my faith and possibly consider departing from the church of Christ.

Sincerely,
Forgive Or Forget

Dear Forgive Or Forget,

If we forgive someone that is obviously unrepentant, then we are doing exactly what the brethren in 1 Cor 5 did that got them into so much trouble.  1 Cor 5 tells of a brother that had his father’s wife and was flaunting the sin.  The Corinthian brethren weren’t mourning or worked up over this sin; they just let it go (1 Cor 5:1-2).  Their willingness to cancel the sin without dealing with the sin got them into a lot of trouble with God!

However, we emphasize the words obviously unrepentant because there are many times when people do change their behavior, do feel sorry about what they’ve done, and yet, don’t specifically say, “I’m sorry”.  For example, a husband yells at his wife but then later comes back into the house with flowers.  Technically, he never apologized, but the gesture and behavior make it clear that he is repentant.

It is areas like this where we must be careful to give others the benefit of the doubt.  After all, love hopes all things (1 Cor 13:7).  Though there are times when we can turn a blind eye to sin and cause a lot of problems, it is also important that we not think the worst of people.  If someone apologizes, we should take their word for it unless actions clearly show otherwise.  Also, sometimes people’s actions show their repentance, and we should be ready to forgive even if we don’t receive the type of apology we might have hoped for.

     My husband was a preacher, but he left me for another woman and went to live with her.  He left me living in his parents’ home (which I could be asked to move from), got a good job in Tennessee (not preaching), and the woman has moved in with him. Why is everything working out for him?  He is doing well; I am still going to church.  I work, have to pay all my bills, and my car is acting up.  She got him a nice Jeep.  My legs are hurting; I have a rash but don’t have the money to go to a doctor, but he goes when needed!  My question is: why is everything going so well for him?  I am 64 years old and was left with nothing; I try to do what is right by people, but yet, everything is roses for him.  I just don’t understand.

Sincerely,
Left Behind

Dear Left Behind,

Your frustration is valid, and the psalmist, Asaph, had the same frustration.  In Psalm 73, Asaph talked about his animosity toward the success of the ungodly… he said it made him so mad that he almost fell away from God (Ps 73:2).  However, Asaph finally concluded that the ungodly were not blessed because their entire existence was slippery and dependent upon their physical prosperity (Ps 73:18).  Only God’s people have an eternal hope that gives us comfort regardless of how life goes here (Ps 73:27-28).

A life of wickedness is a slippery slope – one lie leads to another until all you have is a tangle of lies and deception (Ps 73:18).  The wicked man has no peace because he is totally dependent upon his own strength and wiles for success… every moment of life is lived upon a precipice (Ps 73:19).

Contrast that life to one of a righteous man.  God holds the hand of the righteous, so they will not despair (Ps 73:23), and God is a righteous man’s counselor and friend (Ps 73:24).  Ultimately, the righteous go to heaven, and the wicked spend eternity in hell (Ps 73:25).  Sometimes, it is maddeningly difficult to see wicked people “getting away” with sin, but God reminds us to consider their latter end.