How can a Christian deal with a spiritually immature brother/sister?

Sincerely,
Struggling Sibling

Dear Struggling Sibling,

With patience.  The Bible teaches that immature brethren are a normal part of the church because we all start out as babes in Christ (1 Pet 2:2).  As long as there are people being added to the church, there will always be immaturity.  On top of that, none of us mature in Christ as fast as we ought.  In Heb 5:12, Christians were rebuked for not growing and maturing as quickly as was appropriate.  So, spiritual immaturity is not a new problem.

Paul said that he dealt with immature brethren by being as gentle with them as a mother with her children (1 Thess 2:7).  1 Tim 5:1-2 explains that when we deal with other Christians, we should treat them as we would a father, mother, brother, or sister.  1 Thess 5:14 says that as we admonish, encourage, and help those who are lazy, fainting, or weak in the church, we should always be patient.  These are the principles for dealing with your fellow Christians.  Be nice because, after all, you will spend eternity with them.

     I have a friend who wants to leave my church, but I think she really needs it. She thinks a lot of the people there (mostly the youth) are fake and gossipy and says it "turns her off for God."  I don't blame her.  She always wants to leave as soon as service is over.  How can I help her?

Sincerely,
Seeing Her Waver

Dear Seeing Her Waver,

Christianity is work… that is exactly why a lot of people don’t obey God.  God tells us we must hear and do what His Word says (Jas 1:22).  We do what we love, and we do things for those we love.  If we love God, we will keep His commandments (Jhn 14:15).  It is a myth that all Christians love to go to services and love to read their Bibles.  The truth is that every faithful Christian we know has had to work very hard to build the habits of attendance, study, and active participation in the Lord’s work – sometimes in spite of those around them.  It is a lifelong commitment.  The apostle Paul compares it to physical training.  An athlete exercises their body to win the race, even when they are tired or in pain… we need to do the same with our spiritual exercise (1 Cor 9:24-27).  These are the things we would talk to your friend about.  Php 2:12 says that we have to each work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.  If the only reason you are attending services is because of the people... you are doing it for the wrong reasons.  People can certainly make it more enjoyable, but ultimately, you must do what's right regardless of others.

     I am having a problem.  I have friends that I introduced to my church two years ago.  Some are doing ministry work, and one couple had their wedding vows renewed yesterday, so they could do it this time under God’s blessing, but I know at home, they are hanging out, and they drink every day of the week (not that they are drunk, but very high), and they have my pastor and everyone else fooled.  It is really bothering my husband and I, and we don’t hang out with them anymore because we don't drink anymore and haven't in a while, and they don’t even act like we are friends anymore, but I am wondering: should I say anything or just let God handle it?

Sincerely,
Former Friend

Dear Former Friend,

When we know that someone in the church is actively leading a sinful life, we are supposed to go to them and talk to them about it in hopes of restoring them.  If that doesn’t work, we should bring others with us so that the seriousness of the issue can be addressed properly (after all, maybe you are wrong.  Impartial witnesses help all people involved).  And lastly, if that doesn’t work, the church leadership should begin the discipline process.  All of these steps are outlined in Matt 18:15-17.

It sounds like you and your husband have previously made your sentiments known to these individuals.  Now it is time to get someone else (probably the church leadership) involved.

On a separate note, it sounds like your congregation has only one pastor; you might want to read our article “Two Are Better Than One” on the necessity for multiple pastors in a church.