The preacher at my church is so boring that I can barely stand to listen to him for more than ten minutes.  Why do we have to make the focal point of service listening to one person talk to us for an hour?  I mean, if this is what "going to church" is all about, I don't think it's for me.

Sincerely,
Yawn

Dear Yawn,

Christianity isn’t about entertainment, and if the only problem you have with a congregation is that it doesn’t hold your attention, it is time to take a serious look at your own spirituality.  Learning and studying God's Word is often hard and can feel tiresome, but the hard work pays off in the end.  It is nice if a preacher can be "easy on the ears", but ultimately, it is our job to learn and grow from studying the Bible (1 Pet 2:2)

The church’s main job is to stand by the truth (1 Tim 3:15), and one sign of a congregation turning from the Lord is that the preaching and teaching are no longer about truth, but about entertaining the people (2 Tim 4:3-4).  So, using excitement or the feeling of being entertained isn’t a good benchmark.

On the other hand, a congregation whose love has grown cold (Matt 24:12) or one that has left their zealous love for the Lord (Rev 2:4) is sometimes seen as “boring”.  If a church is no longer active and working to be effective in its service for the Lord, that can be a real problem.  After all, we are to worship God in spirit and in truth (Jhn 4:24), and if a congregation holds to the truth in word, but not in deed, there is a definite issue.  That type of “boring” can be a reason to leave a group.

     I attend a church that has some practices for which I can't find "book, chapter, and verse."  Trying to study the issue has resulted in an implication of "divisiveness" and impending dis-fellowship.  So, the matter is dropped.  The Bible says we must stand up for truth and sound doctrine.  How is that possible without being "divisive," which the Bible condemns?

Sincerely,
Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Dear Between A Rock And A Hard Place,

If you don’t want to be divisive – then don’t be.  Stand for your principles, but do it with an attitude of humility and kindness – these are the characteristics we see in Christ.  When you talk to older Christians about things you disagree with them on, treat them with the respect you would if disagreeing with your father or mother.  When talking to younger Christians, treat them like equals and brothers and sisters in Christ. (1 Tim 5:1-2)

You can’t be kind at the cost of truth (Pr 23:23), but you certainly should do everything in your power to be at peace and to be peaceable (Rom 12:18, Heb 12:14).  If you don’t want to be divisive, don’t be the type of person that drives wedges between people.  Be the kind of person that humbly seeks truth and tries to lead others to the same light.  If there reaches a point where the congregation you attend isn’t seeking that same truth, then you can part ways knowing that you did your best to be Christ-like in your love of truth and love of people.

     Our preacher is more involved with a local civic organization than he is in growing our local church.  We don't have elders, and many of the men are also members of the civic group.  I find this to be a contradiction in service, but he says that there are things the church isn't authorized to do that this group can, like caring for needy non-saints.  But if more time is spent with that group than with our own, can that be right?

Sincerely,
Second Best

Dear Second Best,

There isn’t anything wrong with Christians (and preachers are just Christians, too) with being involved with philanthropic work outside of the church, but that doesn’t mean that a balance isn’t important.  Gal 6:10 says that we should do good to all men, but especially the church.  The church should receive the first of our labors because it is our eternal family in Christ… but that doesn’t mean we should neglect doing good to all.  We can’t speak to the balance the men in your congregation are having in their lives, but we can tell you this isn’t a matter of right and wrong; it is a matter of wisdom.  On a positive note, we can think of worse problems than good people struggling over what good work to do.

I have a question concerning forgiveness.  I have a friend that was baptized a few years ago but still wants to drink to get it out of their system… but will stop in a few years.  When I ask why they are doing it, they say they, "are going to be forgiven anyway if they ask for it later", so they continue to drink.  My question is, will they really be forgiven?  Or will their forgiveness being asked in vain?

Sincerely,
Sober-Minded

Dear Sober-Minded,

Your friend has a common misconception about sin… that it is easy to quit.  When we openly and purposefully sin, we are choosing to become enslaved by that sin (alcohol is specifically mentioned as being addictive - Tit 2:3).  Paul teaches that part of becoming a christian is changing our attitude toward sin (Rom 6:1-4).  Christianity is a new life… a new life where sin no longer rules over us (Rom 6:11).

When we are baptized, we are making a statement that we hate sin, want it removed from our lives, and are seeking forgiveness from Christ.  Baptism is an appeal to God for a new life free from the filth of sin (1 Pet. 3:21).  If your friend still wants to live in sin and trick God into forgiveness later – God will not be deceived (Gal 6:7).  God knows our hearts (Lk 16:15).  If we accidently sin and then ask Him for forgiveness… that is very different from purposefully living a sinful lifestyle.  Your friend has some maturing to do before they really understand what it means to live a godly lifestyle.  In fact, if they are currently sinning, it may be time for you to talk to them about it.  Unfortunately, if he/she won’t listen to Scriptures, you may need to do what Matt 18:15-16 says and bring another faithful christian along to help you explain the sinful predicament he/she is in.

I was told recently by my pastor that an elder should always put his congregation first, even before his wife.  I believe that to be incorrect.  I always thought that we should all place God first, our spouses second, and our children third, and that is the model for a christian family.  I believe that to be one of the most significant examples to your congregation.  Am I correct, or am I wrong about this?

Sincerely,
Ducks In A Row

Dear Ducks In A Row,

You are right.  The Scriptures are clear that being an elder is a voluntary position (1 Tim 3:1).  A man can resign from the eldership, but he can’t resign from his marriage or his family.  God makes it clear that when a man marries, a large portion of his life becomes dedicated to caring for his wife’s needs (1 Cor 7:32-34).  Furthermore, husbands are clearly told that they must care for their wives as much as they care for their own bodies (Eph 5:28).  A man is a husband for life; he is an elder by choice for a time.

His relationship with his children is also not optional.  A father has various responsibilities to his offspring (Eph 6:4, Col 3:21, Heb 12:9, etc.).