At our Wednesday evening services, one young lady, the daughter of a very prominent member, announced that she was going to attend a skiing party over the weekend and that they would be having services conducted by another woman in the cabin in the mountains.  Her father approves of this type of situation and has himself gone off in like manner.  They have a lot of influence with the other members, and so no one will stand up to them.  Our preacher said that he will not interrupt his schedule to deal with this trifle because "it is not bad enough".  But he agrees that it should not be done.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
At The Bottom Of The Slope

Dear At The Bottom Of The Slope,

You should do exactly what everyone else is doing – nothing.  Some issues are clear-cut and deserve to be dealt with publicly and swiftly, but this is not one of them.  If you asked a hundred faithful christians what the best way to worship is when you are away on vacation, you will get one hundred different opinions.  Some will say you can’t go on vacation somewhere that doesn’t have a faithful congregation, others (like this family) cite Matt 18:20 as proof that it is appropriate to hold your own temporary services while away, and still others say that a vacation constitutes such a rare circumstance that it isn’t important to attend at all.  Those are three opinions that cover the entire spectrum of thought on the subject of vacation church attendance.  The truth is that the Bible is never specific on this issue.  God tells us that whenever we run into an issue of opinion, we should decide for ourselves and leave others to do the same (Rom 14:10-13).  Leave the final judgment to God and don’t allow an issue of opinion and personal judgment to cause strife among the Lord’s people (Rom 14:19).

How can I be a good christian?  I want to do the work of God; thank you.

Sincerely,
Ready Worker

Dear Ready Worker,

Christ says that if we love Him, we will keep His commandments (Jhn 14:6).  The Bible is the Word of God, and Jesus is also called the Word (Jhn 1:1-2).  The Bible contains everything that God wants us to know about life and godliness (2 Pet 1:3).  We can have insight into the mind of Christ through the Bible (1 Cor 2:16).  When we take the Bible seriously and allow it to mold our lives, we please God who formed us.  That means attending a congregation that faithfully follows the Bible (Heb 10:24-25), studying the Scriptures to grow (Acts 17:11), doing what the Bible says it takes to become a christian (read “What Must I Do To Be Saved?” for more information on that topic), and continually growing in our lives (2 Pet 3:18, 1 Pet 2:2).

How does the church deal with a pastor and minister having a sexual relationship that the members know about (factual, not gossip)?  It has the body of the church very disturbed.

Sincerely,
Shocked By Scandal

Dear Shocked By Scandal,

The church has the responsibility to stand up against illicit affairs, especially when it is found within the church’s leadership.  Paul warned the Ephesian church that there would come a time when their leadership would behave in an evil fashion (Acts 20:28-30) and that the only answer to an openly sinful leader was to stand up against him (1 Tim 5:19-20).  We should never be hasty about church discipline (1 Tim 5:22), but we should also never show partiality toward someone just because they are in a position of authority (1 Tim 5:21).

Those who upset the church and destroy the faith of others need to be stopped.  You have no other choice but to rebuke them and withdraw from those living wickedly (1 Cor 5:13).

I have been going to church for about twenty years.  I have been around several churches and have noticed something about my current church of about three years.  I noticed the pastor is very transparent.  The church size is around 150 total and has never went over that size in the last twenty-five years.  When I first went there, a lot of growth was taking place after they brought on a new staff member.  The church grew from 85 to 200 in about 4 months, but I noticed the pastor kept doing things that offended people.  He would call people out in the middle of service, discipline them, make fun of something that had happened to them, etc.  The church has had over 325 visitors in the last three years, and only two families remain from those who visited.  Here's my question: why does it seem my pastor has a self-destructive spirit?  It's almost as if he does not want to succeed or is afraid to grow.  He is very grounded biblically (although says a lot of things personally that offend people) and is very evangelistic.  I don't know how to encourage him.  He justifies everyone leaving because he is speaking "solid biblical" truth, and they don't like it.  He does speak truth, but at the same time, will point people out and make fun of them.  It is as if you can see a switch click when there are visitors.  He will be going along preaching, then stop, and then looking right at the visitors, make an "off-the-wall” comment.  They don't come back.  We don't have a deacon, elder, or leadership group that can help walk with the pastor… any suggestions?

Sincerely,
Put Off By The Pastor

Dear Put Off By The Pastor,

One man leading a church without any checks or balances can create lots of problems… and that is exactly why God didn’t design the church to be run by a head pastor.  God intended for the church to be lead by a multiplicity of elders (Acts 14:23) – never by one person.  The qualifications for elders can be found in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9.  Many, many churches are suffering from the exact same problems as your congregation because they don’t use the Bible’s pattern for church leadership.

No single individual should be left alone to guide the Lord’s church.  Even an honest person would be bound to make major mistakes without other faithful leaders to rely upon.  It is only in a multiplicity of faithful elders that we can have safety (Pr 24:6).  When churches aren’t arranged according to the Bible pattern, things don’t work.

The parable of the Prodigal Son gives us one perspective of how God views those that come back to Him and His teachings after straying and how this is a blessing and pleasing unto Him… however, 2 Peter 2:20-22 makes it seem that this is worse in God's eyes than never following His Word in the first place.  Which is the case?  Thank you!!

Sincerely,
Looking For The Upside

Dear Looking For The Upside,

The story of the prodigal son (found in Lk 15:11-32) is the story of the lost returning to Christ… 2 Pet. 2:20-22 is the exact opposite.  Peter is talking about faithful people who return to the wickedness of sinful living.  If someone becomes a christian and then, once again, gets entangled in worldly living – they are worse off than they were to start with (2 Pet 2:20).  When we know the truth and don’t obey it, we have the same eternal destination as before… but we can’t plead ignorance anymore.  As long as we are still breathing, there is the possibility of returning to God, but it is a lot harder for an “ex-christian” to return to the truth than it is for an honest-but-ignorant person to obey God’s Word.