I have a question concerning forgiveness.  I have a friend that was baptized a few years ago but still wants to drink to get it out of their system… but will stop in a few years.  When I ask why they are doing it, they say they, "are going to be forgiven anyway if they ask for it later", so they continue to drink.  My question is, will they really be forgiven?  Or will their forgiveness being asked in vain?

Sincerely,
Sober-Minded

Dear Sober-Minded,

Your friend has a common misconception about sin… that it is easy to quit.  When we openly and purposefully sin, we are choosing to become enslaved by that sin (alcohol is specifically mentioned as being addictive - Tit 2:3).  Paul teaches that part of becoming a christian is changing our attitude toward sin (Rom 6:1-4).  Christianity is a new life… a new life where sin no longer rules over us (Rom 6:11).

When we are baptized, we are making a statement that we hate sin, want it removed from our lives, and are seeking forgiveness from Christ.  Baptism is an appeal to God for a new life free from the filth of sin (1 Pet. 3:21).  If your friend still wants to live in sin and trick God into forgiveness later – God will not be deceived (Gal 6:7).  God knows our hearts (Lk 16:15).  If we accidently sin and then ask Him for forgiveness… that is very different from purposefully living a sinful lifestyle.  Your friend has some maturing to do before they really understand what it means to live a godly lifestyle.  In fact, if they are currently sinning, it may be time for you to talk to them about it.  Unfortunately, if he/she won’t listen to Scriptures, you may need to do what Matt 18:15-16 says and bring another faithful christian along to help you explain the sinful predicament he/she is in.

Is it okay for a Christian to be in support of gay marriage?  I'm guessing the answer is ‘no’.  What about hanging out and being friends with people that support gay marriage?

Sincerely,
Finding Friends

Dear Finding Friends,

Homosexual marriage, the right to abortion (i.e. the right to kill babies), freedom of worship, etc. are issues that, regardless of other political views, a Christian must stand firm on. A Christian that supports homosexual marriage is supporting and endorsing sin. It is no different than Solomon building idolatrous temples for his wives – he sinned in condoning their sin (1 Kgs 11:4-9).

Now, the second part of your question has to do with keeping company with those who support homosexual “marriage”.  Christians are constantly trying to strike the balance between being lights to the world (Matt 5:14) and keeping themselves pure and undefiled from the world’s influences (Jas 1:27).  As long as we live on this planet, we will have trials (Jhn 16:33).  It is a fine line between being an influence and being corrupted by the world.  Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor 15:33).  It isn’t wrong to befriend someone who is living a homosexual lifestyle or endorsing such behavior, just like it isn’t wrong to befriend someone who lies or uses bad language… but we must always be guarded in our relationships with those outside of Christ (2 Cor 6:14).  The Lord loves people but hates sin.  You should show love for these people in your life but still abhor their sinful choices (after all, those sins are destroying their souls!).  If you can influence a person for good, then do so.  If they are corrupting you and keeping you from being the best Christian you can be, begin to distance yourself (Gal 5:1).  You may even deem it appropriate to tell the person why you are distancing yourself (1 Pet 3:15).  Maybe, just maybe, they will change if they are made aware of what their choices are costing them.

Does God punish people by making their loved ones sick because that person didn't want something to occur?

Sincerely,
Guilty Conscience

Dear Guilty Conscience,

We couldn’t say what God has or hasn’t done in a specific circumstance.  However, we can provide some general principles regarding life for you to consider.

1. We reap what we sow (Gal 6:7-8).  The choices we make have consequences in this life – and in the next.  What you do affects you and those around you that you come in contact with.  When you behave godly, certain things happen; when you behave sinfully, other things happen.  That is a universal principle of life.
2. God is always fair and just (Deu 32:4).  God doesn’t make bad decisions.  If (emphasis upon the ‘if’) God had a hand in causing someone you love to be sick… He has a reason.  God loves mankind and always seeks what is in our long-term best interests (Jhn 3:16).
3. Sometimes bad things simply happen because they happen.  Job suffered greatly and lost his children, but it wasn’t his fault.  Job hadn’t done anything wrong, nor had his kids.  It all happened because Satan wanted to do evil (Job 1:6).  As long as we live in this world of sin, there will be troubles.  Sometimes, there isn’t anyone at fault.
4. God causes all things to work together for good for those who love him (Rom 8:28).  No matter what has happened in the past, if we love God and turn to Him, He will make everything turn out for the positive.  We can’t tell you how, but in His great wisdom, He can turn even the worst of scenarios into a long-term benefit.

We here at AYP cannot imagine what heartache you must be going through if someone you dearly love is sick.  We wish you the very best during this trying time and will pray that all turns out well.

I have a friend that is a christian, but the father of her child is not.  They no longer date, but she still cares for him.  He will not work or spend time with his child.  He does not give the child financial support.  He studied the Bible for a short time but lost interest because nothing changed in his life.  Apart from her own interests, she still wants to be with him for the child's sake.  He wants to control her and does not want her to date other guys.  He becomes very upset when she dates christian guys.  What does the Bible say about their relationship? And what advice can I give her according to the Bible?

Sincerely,
Aiding A Friend

Dear Aiding A Friend,

As we often say when we answer these types of questions – we here at AYP will avoid the details of the personal aspect of this question and deal primarily with the Bible one.  There is no quick and easy answer for the personal side that can be addressed through a website.  These kinds of problems take godly friends, faith, and time to sort out.

The emotional baggage involved with this situation is sticky, but the Bible facts are simple.  She is not married to this man and has ZERO responsibility to date/court/marry someone that meets his approval.  An ungodly man disliking godly choices is nothing new (Jhn 3:20).  Without dwelling upon the past choices that led her to having a child with a man she is not married to, it is fair to say that she will only find a good life for herself and her child if she makes better choices… godly choices (Gal 6:7-9).  She needs to begin sowing a better life for herself.  The only hope she has of finding a life that is good for herself (and for her child – Pr 22:6) is to begin to fear God and keep His commandments above all else (Ps 111:10).  Only when we prize God above all other relationships do we succeed in life.  Serving Christ often brings great strife into our lives, but ultimately it bears the fruit of long-term peace (Gal 5:22).  Even though it sets us at odds with those around us, including loved ones, we must press on and endure, so that we might be found worthy of Christ (Matt 10:34-38).  Christianity is about making Bible choices regardless of how hard they might seem.

I have a friend who always wants to talk about religion but doesn't understand my beliefs. I am a Christian, and when I try to explain to her that the Bible is literally interpreted, she doesn't understand and replies with, "Well, that’s your and your church's interpretation of the Bible" and "The same literal verse can mean different things to different people."  What verses or explanation can I use as examples of how the Bible should be interpreted and why?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Literally Puzzled

Dear Literally Puzzled,

What you are trying to do is prove to your friend that the Bible is God’s literal word and that God intends for it to be understood in a definite fashion.  Here are a couple of different ways to try and get this concept across to your friend:

1. Peter said that the Bible is not a matter of our own private interpretation (2 Pet 1:20-21).  When God spoke, He didn’t mean for His Words to be interpreted how we wished.  In fact, the apostle Paul condemns our own interpretation as “perverting” God’s Word (Gal 1:6-7).  There is a right and a wrong way to read the Scriptures.
2. If there is more than one correct way to interpret the Scriptures, it would be impossible to have unity.  Unity can only happen if we agree on the same standards.  If people each have their own personal interpretation of the Scriptures, there is no common standard to build unity upon.  God is not the author of confusion (1 Cor 14:33).  God commands us to have unity, and that there is only one faith (Eph 4:3-6).  Show your friend Ephesians chapter four and explain that unity cannot happen without a single standard.
3. God purposely made sure that every word of the Bible was exactly as He intended it to be (Matt 5:18).  Everything that the prophets wrote was directly from the mind of God (1 Cor 2:12-13).  If God put that much effort into preserving the accuracy and detail of the Bible, we cannot disregard that.  We must be as accurate in our reading of the Bible as God was in writing it.
4. Jesus believed there was a right and a wrong way to read the Bible.  He accused the Pharisees of disregarding God’s teachings (Matt 21:42).  He also told the Sadducees that they didn’t understand the Scriptures (Matt 22:29).  If Jesus says there is a right and a wrong way to view the Scriptures, then we must make sure we are rightly discerning God’s Word.

There is no guarantee any of these things will work with your friend, but we wish you the very best as you try and share the Gospel.  Hopefully, she will be willing to listen with an open and honest heart.