Why do bad things happen to good people?

Sincerely,
It Seems Unfair

Dear It Seems Unfair,

When God created the universe, He made everything good (Gen 1:31).  The world didn’t have disease, thorns, suffering, and all the other problems we see today.  Originally, Adam and Eve lived in the perfect paradise of the Garden of Eden (Gen 2:8).  It is only after Adam and Eve were cast from the Garden because of their sin that all the problems we see today began. All suffering is caused by mankind and sin.  Sometimes we suffer for our sins; sometimes we suffer for others' sins, but sin is always at the root of suffering.

When God made the world, He made it to be good – it was sin that destroyed that perfect vision.  All wickedness and evil brings pain to God and grieves Him and He will only endure it for so long.  In Noah’s day, God saw all the violence that was in the world and it made Him deeply sad (Gen 6:5-6).  God gives mankind the freedom to make our own choices, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t pain Him to see the evil upon this earth.  God tells us that the only reason He endures it is because He is longsuffering and desiring to give as many people as possible the chance to repent and turn to Him (2 Pet 3:9).

Hi.  While my faith has recently been shaky, I'm happy to say that I am a whole-hearted believer in God.  My closest friend, however, is far from that which is something I've started to question God about.

She is very intelligent, especially in the sciences.  Actually, to be honest, we both are rather gifted in that area which is probably what brought us together.  But the most important thing that separates us is that she doesn't believe in God, and she has a lot of scientific evidence to back up her opinion.  I have my evidence too, but whenever the subject comes up, she refuses to talk about it, saying she's concerned she'll ruin my faith.  How do I reach out to a person like this?  It hurts me so much to see her live out her life with obvious gaps that only God can fill.

Any suggestions on how to direct my friend to the Lord without ruining our friendship?  She has developed something against religion recently, saying that it's just a tool used through history to give people power and reason to kill.  This really bothers me, but again, the friendship is so important to me, and I don't want to lose it.  At the same time, her salvation is also at least that important to me.  Thanks, and God bless.

Sincerely,
A Proven Friend

Dear A Proven Friend,

You are obviously dealing with a very intelligent person who has formed her own opinions… but without all the data.  What we normally do when studying with someone like this is to hand them a couple of books and tell them we would like to hear their thoughts after they are finished reading.  That has a two-fold effect:

1. It takes all wrangling over words out of the picture because it isn't an argument anymore... they are simply reading.
2. It shows you how serious they are about pursuing the subject.  If it is important, they will read and get back to you, but if it isn't important, the subject will just get dropped.  Either way, you can have a clear conscience that you tried to help.

In this circumstance, we recommend "Evidence That Demands A Verdict" by Josh McDowell (this book should address much of the argument of the Bible being used as a tool to hurt others).  We also recommend “Case For A Creator” by Lee Strobel to deal with the scientific arguments and “Has God Spoken?” by A.O. Schnabel (which addresses the internal evidence of the Bible’s supernatural origins).  That is our recommendation on the topic… less confrontation and more information.

     My husband and I were converted to Christianity almost six years ago.  I am grateful each and every day that we made that choice and have chosen to raise our kids up in the way of the Lord.  There have been many trials along the way, and I'm sure there will be many more to come.  However, as I am growing in the Word, I can see my husband take the "backseat" or "lukewarm" approach more and more often.  As my children are getting older, I think they are starting to catch on; this saddens me deeply.  I guess my question is: if you see someone "slipping away" and you've already made known your concern to them (and they get defensive whenever you make another attempt or effort), what do you do?  I guess in my "ideal Christian husband world" I would never have to send this because we would both be reading this and discussing these posts together... which I have recommended several times, and he sees me doing it all the time.

Sincerely,
Through Thick and Thin

Dear Through Thick And Thin,

Your situation is a difficult one and very hard to endure.  That feeling of being spiritually alone in your marriage is both trying and discouraging.  Here is the problem – there is nothing you can say to your husband that will make him want to change.  Since you’ve already talked to him before, you have seen how true that is.

Perhaps this is why the Bible says that the way a wife can change her husband is by her actions instead of her words.  1 Pet 3:1 says that a wife’s greatest tool against spiritual apathy in her husband is her own behavior.  1 Pet 3:1-6 outline the way a wife can make a difference, and it isn’t by taking over and forcing him to be spiritually active; it is by letting him lead the family but balancing that subjection with reverence for God.  This is a tricky thing to do!  Never compromise your own morals and spirituality, but allow him to lead in everything else.  This sort of meek and gentle behavior is God’s recipe for a wife to get to the heart of her husband, so he can be roused from his spiritual slumber.  This sort of behavior can prick your husband’s heart and also highlight for your children how important Christ is in your life.

Recently, my friend and I promised each other that if we saw the other turning away from God, we would speak up.  Basically, we promised to be each other’s support system and to encourage each other in God.  But I found out a few weeks ago that she has been sleeping with her boyfriend and some other similar things.  I would speak up, but she doesn't know I know because both her boyfriend and sister told me on accident; they thought she would have told me.  I know she is avoiding honesty because she thinks I will scold her and be disappointed.  I admit, I am disappointed, but I just wish she would be honest with me.  How do I handle this?  I don't want to cause fights by revealing to her who told me, but I want to be able to help her.  What do I do?

Sincerely,
A Concerned Friend

Dear A Concerned Friend,

If you know that a fellow christian is living a sinful life, you have a moral obligation to do something about it.  Christ says that we should privately confront one another (Matt 18:15).  If she repents, you have saved her soul (Jas 5:20).  Make it clear that you have honest and loving concern for her (2 Thess 3:14-15).  It is an act of love to entreat a fellow christian to turn from sin (1 Jn 3:18).  No matter how you came by the information, you have a responsibility to try and save your sister.

(This is a follow-up to “New To Us”.)

     What are the exact Scriptures that spell out the new laws Christ established?  If I had a list of the laws, it sure would be easier to make sure I'm following them.  It seems like every time I visit services, my preacher finds something in Scripture I must follow that I didn't see before.  If he weren't delineating all the laws for me to follow, I'm sure I would be lost. How do I know when a principle has been followed well enough and followed to absolute truth?  Seems like doing my best isn't good enough when I'm told I can always be more right.

Sincerely,
A minus

Dear A minus,

The whole New Testament is the compiled set of laws that Christ established.  Christianity isn’t just a short set of rules that can be quickly mastered.  The Bible is a life-changing book that you will spend a lifetime applying to your heart, mind, and actions.  The apostle Paul said that it was like an athlete carefully preparing his body for a match – we must shape our entire being around Christ (1 Cor 9:25-27).

Ps 119:160 says that the sum of God’s Word is truth.  If there were a short list of things you needed to do to be like Christ, we wouldn’t need the whole Bible.  The Bible is exactly the size it needs to be to convey all the ideas and principles God knows we need.

But don’t despair!  God understands that you don’t know everything and that we are all works in progress.  Being a Christian is like growing up – we start as babies and take baby steps until we get stronger (1 Pet 2:2).  Instead of feeling dismayed at all the things you don’t know yet, think of every new principle you will learn like a precious gem that God gives us along the way to heaven.