When Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden, Adam was cursed with thorns and thistles in the ground while Eve was cursed with pain in childbirth.  Does that mean that my husband has to do all the yard work?

Sincerely,
Wishing I Wasn’t Weeding

Dear Wishing I Wasn’t Weeding,

Thankfully for us guys, that isn’t what that verse is talking about.  Adam was cursed with thorns and thistles as he grew and harvested food from the earth (Gen 3:17-18).  Adam was cursed with having to work hard and sweat to provide for his family (Gen 3:19).  It wasn’t about yard work, but about hard work.  Adam was cursed with having his work be difficult.  It had nothing to do with mowing the lawn and pruning the roses… you’ll have to find some other reason to get your hubby to do that!

Should I study the Scriptures with people that do not believe in the Holy Trinity?

Sincerely,
Three Strikes You’re In

Dear Three Strikes You’re In,

We here at AYP will study with anyone that is willing to actually study.  Paul studied with idolaters (Acts 17:22-23).  John the Baptist studied with publicans and harlots (Matt 21:32).  Paul said he would study and preach to anyone who would listen (1 Cor 9:20-22).  The issue isn’t what they do or don’t understand – the issue is whether someone is humble and honest enough to learn (Lk 8:15).  Plant the seed of God’s Word in an honest and good heart, and it will grow into something great.

The only person you shouldn’t study with is the belligerent person too proud to listen to God’s Word.  Don’t throw your pearls before swine (Matt 7:6).  Don’t even give a false teacher a greeting (2 Jn 1:10).  You must decide whether someone is simply humble but mistaken or proud and hard-hearted.

Recently the pastor’s wife asked me to call her ‘pastor’, too.  She said it shows respect to her because she was also called.  Should you call the pastor's wife ‘pastor’ because she told you, or should it be because GOD puts it in your heart?

Sincerely,
Name Tag

Dear Name Tag,

Regardless of how anyone (including the pastor’s wife) feels, she should never be called ‘pastor’.  Pastors, also known as ‘elders’ and ‘overseers’, are always men.  1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9 outline the requirements for becoming a pastor.  One of those requirements is that he be a husband of one wife (Tit 1:6, 1 Tim 3:2).  That would naturally exclude all women from ever being pastors.

Considering that the verses we’ve just highlighted are exceptionally easy to find and very clearly outline the rules for leadership, we here at AYP would like you to consider the real possibility that your current congregation doesn’t pay attention to the Scriptures.  God clearly condemns those who replace the Bible with the traditions of men (Col 2:8).  We recommend that you read “Finding The Church” and “Preacher Interrogation” to help you as you take a serious look at the faithfulness of your current church.  After talking to the pastor’s wife and asking her about those verses, we would love to hear back from you to know what she said.

My question is regarding the needy, specifically panhandlers and homeless folks, and our obligations per the Bible to help them.  Hebrews 13:2 says that we may be entertaining angels without knowing it.  Matthew 25:35-39 also sounds like it is encouraging helping those in need, but where do we draw the line?  Are we obligated to give to everyone with their hands out?

Sincerely,
Wallet Watcher

Dear Wallet Watcher,

Christians must always do what they can to help the poor (Pr 14:21), but they must also balance that with the importance of not supporting laziness (Pr 21:25).  This becomes a constant battle as christians interact with the homeless and panhandlers.

Matt 25:35-39 is not applicable in this issue because it is specifically dealing with needy brethren, but there are other verses that we should consider.  Pure and undefiled religion is to care for widows and the fatherless in their distress (Jas 1:27).  When we have pity on the poor, we are pleasing to God (Pr 19:17).  If we don’t listen to the cry of the poor, our prayers will be hindered (Pr 21:13).  God blesses those who care for the poor (Pr 28:27).  God puts immense emphasis on having compassion for those less fortunate.

God also tells us not to support someone who won’t work.  If someone won’t work, neither should they eat (2 Thess 3:10).  Someone who will not provide for his own is worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim 5:8).  Some people are financially destitute because they simply will not work for a living (Pr 24:30-34).

When giving out money to help the poor, a christian must make sure that they are actually helping the people.  Some people (especially people in third-world countries) are willing to work but are unable to find work.  Other people are willing to work, but health problems keep them from doing so.  And yet others are working but aren’t able to make enough to sustain themselves.  In all of these circumstances it would be a wonderful thing to help someone financially.  Unfortunately, some panhandlers are simply vagrants that are wasting their money on alcohol and drugs and have chosen a lifestyle of poverty – in that case, you would be wrong to help support them. You must use wisdom to decide in each individual case whether you will give and how much you will give.

My boyfriend of two years is having a very hard time, and I am worried about him slipping into depression.  He is upset because he lives at home with his verbally and emotionally abusive father whom has been handicapped for the majority of his life and strung out on pain pills.  No matter how hard he tries, he cannot escape his father’s anger.  He is an amazing man but has begun to believe that because he was brought up by his father, he cannot succeed in life.

To make it worse, we are both newly saved, and this conflict with his dad is taking him away from this amazing blessing and making him forget how important forgiveness is.  He doesn’t see how he can forgive his father when he is constantly hurting him.  I was wondering if you could please help me find some words of inspiration from the Bible because although he has lost it in himself, he still has faith in the Bible.  Please help me show him that he is his own person and deserves to live a happy, healthy life.  He is an amazing person with an amazing heart, and he has been smothered by the hate of his father.

Sincerely,
Souly Concerned

Dear Souly Concerned,

Many times the burdens that we face when we first begin to obey God are the very hardest.  Jesus compared it to seed falling upon different types of soil.  The seed is the Word of God, and we are the soil.  Sometimes people are rocky soil, and the Word can’t take root because we can’t handle the trials of temptation.  Sometimes the soil is full of thorns, and the Word gets choked out by the cares and riches of this life.  Sometimes the seed falls beside the road, and the devil snatches the Word from our hearts before we even have a chance to grow.  And sometimes, the soil is rich and fertile, and the Word takes root and grows into a mighty plant (Lk 8:11-15).  You and your boyfriend are in the earliest stages of development.  Now is the time when you are most likely to be crushed and the Word snatched from your hearts and minds.  The devil is a roaring lion, just waiting to devour souls (1 Pet 5:8).

You don’t have to have great parents to be godly people.  The gospel routinely sets children against their parents… Christ said it would (Matt 10:34-36).  If Christ said that being a christian would make people fight against their upbringing, He also knows that it is possible to be victorious in that fight.  No temptation has overtaken you that others haven’t been through before (1 Cor 10:13).  You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Php 4:13).  You and your boyfriend need to be studying God’s Word and growing like babies longing for milk (1 Pet 2:2).  We recommend you continue to ask questions, continue to compare what people say to the Scriptures, and never accept anything less than Bible proof for everything you do.  You may find interest in listening to classes from our congregation at sermons.mvchurchofchrist.org.  God can do anything if we trust in His Word.