I have a question that I'm not exactly sure how to word, so I will try my best.  I know that "socially" speaking, cutting is seen as a bad thing or a "mental problem", but this just doesn't help me.  I've struggled with using this as a means of coping for a long time, and as hard as I try, I still find myself being drawn to, or even almost missing, cutting myself.  Are there any verses in the Bible that might help when I'm in those tough situations?  I'm assuming there aren't any verses or stories of people cutting themselves, but I just want something to relate to...

Sincerely,
Recovering Self-Injurer

Dear Recovering Self-Injurer,

‘Cutting’ is a type of self-injury that is sinful.  Cutting involves physically abusing your own body.  Here are some verses to consider the next time you feel the urge to harm yourself:

1. The Bible says, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt 22:39)… would you injure another human being with that type of behavior?  If you wouldn’t do it to your neighbor, you shouldn’t do it to yourself.
2. Your body is a temple to God (1 Cor 6:19).  Your human body is a vessel designed to be used to the glory of God.  Present your body as a living sacrifice to God (Rom 12:1) – you have no right to harm what doesn’t belong to you.  You belong to God; when you cut yourself, you damage God’s property.
3. Cutting is a coping mechanism, a learned behavior that is used to deal with various stresses that life brings.  Cutting is a replacement for trusting in God.  God wants us to turn to Him when things get difficult (Matt 11:28).  Cutting is a bad behavior that needs to be replaced by healthy coping mechanisms – like prayer (1 Thess 5:17).

Cutting is an addiction that can become all-consuming if you let it.  Don’t try and go it alone.  Christianity is built off the idea of help.  God helped us in sending His Son (Jhn 3:16).  There is no shame in turning to others as you struggle with this burden.  That is what other christians are for (Gal 6:2).

Is looking at pornography adultery – whether it is everyday or occasionally?

Sincerely,
See No Evil

Dear See No Evil,

Viewing pornography is adultery in your heart.  Jesus makes it very clear that when you lust after a woman (or a man), you have committed adultery in your heart (Matt 5:27-28).  Though the actual sex act hasn’t occurred (physical adultery includes two becoming one flesh - 1 Cor 6:16), the attitude and character that would commit such an act exists.  Pornography is addictive, evil, and in direct opposition to all that God teaches and stands for.  Flee from it (1 Cor 6:18).

I'm extremely lonely.  I read somewhere that loneliness is God telling you that you have a problem with relationships.  Is that true?  I pray a lot, and I'm consistently seeking His advice and direction, but I never know if I'm making the right choices.  How does God let me know if my choices are pleasing to Him?

I'm lonely and border-line depressed.  I keep asking God to show me His will for me and what I need to do to please Him, but nothing has changed.  I feel like I'm not going to be happy until He's happy with me, but I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  I'm not saying that I'm perfect by any means, but I just don't know what I'm doing.

Sincerely,
Lonely

Dear Lonely,

Loneliness does not necessarily mean you have a problem with relationships… but it can mean that – we simply can’t tell you one way or the other in your circumstance.  However, we can tell you about whether or not your choices are pleasing to God.

We are pleasing to God when we follow His commandments (Jhn 15:14).  God wants us to live faithfully, and faith is found in God’s Word (Rom 10:17).

One of the commandments that is found in God’s Word is that we need to assemble with other christians (Heb 10:24-25).  If you are not doing this, this is an important part of serving God… and will probably help immensely with your loneliness.  Not all churches are the same – many churches don’t teach the truth.  It is very important that you find a faithful church to meet with.  We would be happy to help you find one; simply e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

A few things confuse me.  If we are supposed to view the world as temporary and Heaven as our final home, why should we even try to do things that earn recognition in the world?  Why does everyone strive to be "successful"?  Why don't we focus on simple things like loving each other and being happy instead of stuff like obtaining credentials and other social honors ultimately to make money and buy more and more worldly possessions?  Why do we even pray about world-related stuff if we should only care about pleasing God and inheriting His kingdom?  Why do we not want to die even though if we're saved, we’ll go to Heaven?

Sincerely,
Not Climbing The Ladder

Dear Not Climbing The Ladder,

Solomon says that God wants to bless us in this life as well as the next (Eccl 2:24).  True, heaven will be far better (Php 1:23), but it is normal to enjoy the blessings of this life.  In fact, if we are christians, we are to work hard at all we do (Col 3:23).  Working hard brings success, and success brings honor.  There is nothing wrong with success unless it tears us away from Christ.  Covetousness, greed, and selfishness are wrong (Col 3:5, 1 Tim 6:10) and should always be avoided, but it is possible to be successful and still avoid those vices.  Even Jesus prayed that God would bless us with our daily bread and in our daily lives (Lk 11:3).

The second part of your question addresses the natural human fear of death and attachment to this world.  God has set eternity in our hearts (Eccl 3:11) as well as the desire to live (Ps 23:4).  Most people fear death (or at least aren’t chasing it) because of their natural survival instinct.  There is nothing wrong with that.  This world is where we live and are used to living.  Death is the unknown, and we naturally fear the unknown.

Hello, again.  You were so helpful to me in the past that I have another question!  What does the Bible say about your mind, about renewing your mind, and how not to be a negative thinker?  I am trying to change the way I think and very much want to get closer to God.  Thank you very much.

Sincerely,
Half-Full Hopes

Dear Half-Full Hopes,

The most applicable set of verses on the topic of renewing your mind are Rom 12:1-5 and Eph 4:20-32.  Within those verses, we are given a list of things that will help us become happier, more positive people.

1. Hear and study the Scriptures (Eph 4:21).
2. Remove sin from your life (Rom 12:2, Eph 4:22-23).
3. Embrace a life of service to God (Rom 12:1, Eph 4:24).
4. Be honest with yourself and others (Eph 4:25, Rom 12:3).
5. Enjoy your relationships with other people; we are interconnected (Rom 12:4-5, Eph 4:25).
6. Don’t let your anger control you – resolve your problems with others (Eph 4:26).
7. Speak pure things in order to help yourself think pure things (Eph 4:29).
8. Be kind and tenderhearted with others… forgive (Eph 4:32).

You’ll spend your life trying to apply these principles, but every day can bring you a step closer to being the person the Lord intends for you to be.