I have been struggling with this for some time now.  I could make this a much more detailed question, but I will try to shorten it the best way I can.  When it comes to dating and meeting someone we hope to spend the rest of our lives with, is it wiser to allow things to happen on their own or to engage in things such as online dating?  I realize that God allows us to help ourselves, but I often feel doing things such as online dating is perhaps just a way that individuals try to speed up the process and that it might inhibit natural occurrences (i.e. the real deal) from happening.  Any feedback would be great.

Sincerely,
Patient

Dear Patient,

The Bible gives no specific statements about how to look for a future spouse. Online dating is neither condemned nor endorsed by God’s Word.  Rather than advocate one particular way to find a spouse, God instead speaks to the attitudes we must have and the dangers that exist in the world of romance.

1. Don’t force it.  Song of Solomon is an entire book devoted to romance and marriage.  The chorus of that book is the same over and over (Songs 2:7) – it is a warning to avoid forcing relationships merely for the ‘fun’ of romance.
2. Avoid all appearances of evil (1 Thess 5:22).  Make sure to never put yourself in a situation with someone of the opposite sex that would compromise your (or their) reputation or morals.
3. Who they are matters more than how they look.  The Bible praises godly spouses for their character (Pr 31:10).  Beauty fades, but one’s values endure.  Make sure you are spending your time getting to know the person for who they are and for what they find important.
4. Treat them with respect.  The Scriptures tell us to treat people of the opposite gender like brothers and sisters (1 Tim 5:2).  How would you want your siblings to be treated?  Make sure you are behaving in a godly way toward anyone you are dating or courting.
5. Surround yourself with godly advice.  When we are in the here and now of a romantic relationship, we often get caught up with our emotions and lose perspective.  That makes it especially important to get the advice of those around you who are wiser and less biased.  Parents, grandparents, and other trusted advisors should be sought out as you search for a mate.  Surrounding yourself with many good counselors protects you from making a emotional decision that has lifelong consequences (Pr 11:14).
6. Last, but not least, we are told to pray without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:17).  God wants us to bring our concerns to him, and our desire for a godly spouse is no different.  Pray that God sends you someone to faithfully be your mate for life.

Marriage is one of the greatest blessings that God gives mankind.  If we do it God’s way, finding a spouse can be a joy and lead to a lifetime of happiness.

      Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading?  Does this refer to preachers not getting paid?  Or people in the ministry serving?  Not being compensated?  Forgive me, but I don’t have the context of what Paul is saying here.

Sincerely,
Cattle Call

Dear Cattle Call,

In 1 Cor 9:9, Paul says, “Don’t muzzle an ox when he is treading out the grain.”  Oxen were often used to break up the grain and grind it using a giant wheel or other similar methods that employed animal power to break up the grain.  In the Old Testament, God commanded that an ox that was being used to work the grain should be allowed to eat while it worked (i.e. it shouldn’t be muzzled – Deut 25:4).  In 1^st Corinthians 9, Paul is comparing that command given for the benefit of working animals to the attitude we should take toward those who are preaching the gospel (1 Cor 9:10-11).  Just like an ox that treads the grain deserves a bite of that grain from time to time, preachers who dedicate their lives to the gospel have every right to be paid for their work (1 Cor 9:14).

What are the differences in modern day and Christian views of marriage/relationships?

Sincerely,
Compare And Contrast

Dear Compare And Contrast,

There are a couple of big differences between the Scriptural view of marriage and the way modern culture views it.  The Bible says that marriage is more than just a tradition from previous generations; marriage was instituted and created by God at the very beginning (Gen 2:24).   God also teaches that living together and sexual relations are only for marriage (1 Cor 7:1-2).  All sexual relations outside of marriage are sinful.  Another major difference is that the Bible teaches that marriage is only designed between one man and one woman.  Homosexual “marriage” isn’t marriage at all (Rom 1:26-27).  God designed marriage to be a lifetime commitment between one man and one woman, and He never intended for divorce; even in a sinful world, God only permits Christians to divorce in very few narrow circumstances (Matt 19:9, 1 Cor 7:15).

God designed marriage to be a blessing (Pr 18:22), and when we take a biblical attitude toward marriage, it can be one of the greatest things this side of heaven.

     My wife’s grandmother passed away a few months ago.  They were very close.  My wife came from a Baptist family.  When we met, I was able to show her the truth, and now she is a member of the Church; my heart was broken when she looked at me and asked me, "Is it wrong for me (my wife) to think my grandmother is in heaven?”  I didn't know what to say.  We both know what the Bible says, and we know that no matter what, what we would like to believe is irrelevant.  The Bible still says we must be baptized.  How can I answer a question my wife already knows the answer to?  Does that make any sense?  What would you recommend the best way to word this answer?  It's much harder than I thought.

Sincerely,
Compassionate Husband

Dear Compassionate Husband,

Mourning is such a difficult process because grief isn’t logical; it is emotional.  The fact is that you don’t have to give your wife an answer at this time; sometimes the best comfort is what Job’s friends provided him with – quiet companionship (Job 2:13).  Sometimes all you need to say is, “I can’t imagine how much you are hurting at this time” and leave it at that.

However, if your wife looks for a more in-depth answer, God says that He finds no pleasure in the death of the wicked (Ezek 33:11).  That tells you that God will not send anyone to hell by accident, from spite, or out of malicious intent.  Anyone who ends up in hell really, truly belongs there, and all those who are meant to be in heaven will be there.  When your wife’s grandmother faces God on the Day of Judgment, God will make the right decision concerning her fate.  There is some comfort in knowing that God will not make any mistakes.

     What is the purpose of the communion?  We call it “Nattverd” (this question was received from the Netherlands – AYP).  I know it is to connect and participate in Jesus’ sufferings, but could you please tell a little more?

Sincerely,
Natt-Sure About Nattverd

Dear Natt-Sure About Nattverd,

Christ told us that whenever we take the Lord’s Supper, we should do it in remembrance of Him (Lk 22:19).  In the book of Acts, we see how often the church observed the Lord’s Supper.  In Acts 20:7, we see that christians ‘broke the bread’ in remembrance of Christ on Sundays.  That is when they did it, so that is when we do it.

In 1 Cor. 11:26-29, we are told that we should use the Lord’s Supper to contemplate and examine whether our lives are genuinely dedicated to Christ.  We can know whether our lives are faithful by the fruits we are bearing (Matt 7:16-20).  When you get ready to take the Lord’s Supper next Sunday (Acts 20:7), ask yourself what kind of life you have lived this week.  Examine your life and whether or not it genuinely belongs to Christ, and you will have fulfilled the commandment of 1 Cor 11:28.

Paul says that we are to take the Lord’s Supper when the church is gathered together (1 Cor 11:20).  Taking the Lord’s Supper each Sunday is an act of worship done by every congregation of the Lord.  Christ commands that we do it in remembrance of Him (1 Cor 11:23-28), the church gives us the example of doing it on the first day of the week, and Paul teaches that we should examine ourselves during the Lord’s Supper.