A while back, we had been talking about forgiveness and how you should keep forgiving people. What if they keep doing the same things to you and really aren’t sorry. How are you supposed to forgive then?

Sincerely, Hard To Forget

Dear Hard To Forget,

It is true that christians must forgive all other christians, but there is a difference between forgiveness and trust. David forgave Saul for trying to kill him, but David didn’t trust Saul after multiple attempts on his life (1 Sam 26:21-25). When we forgive someone, we no longer hold the debt of their sin against them (Matt 6:12); this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t use wisdom in our dealings with them (Matt 10:16).

Christians often forgive people for things they haven’t repented of yet. Stephen asked that God forgive the people that were stoning him (Acts 7:60). Jesus, our Lord, did the same thing as He hung on the cross (Lk 23:34). But in both cases, it is safe to say that the people they forgave weren’t trustworthy. Their forgiveness opened the way to the possibility of a healthy relationship over time. We must follow their example. You don’t know whether the person is truly sorry, whether they are trying to grow, or what problems or trials they are going through. God is the final judge of their character and faithfulness. You can and should always treat people with kindness and generosity no matter how they have treated you.

Continue to forgive and keep yourself from bitterness (Heb 12:15), but feel free to protect yourself from harmful relationships.

I accepted the Lord Jesus as my Savior approximately nine months ago. When I became saved, I was in a sinful relationship. I was living with my fiancé (we are abstaining now) and am the mother of two children. He is the father of one of those children. What I am struggling with now is whether or not I am able to marry my fiancé.  He is a divorced man.  According to him, he and his wife divorced due to her committing adultery. I have never been married, and it is very important to me to have a marriage that is within God’s will and purpose for my life.  I don’t want to enter into a union that will separate me from His holy presence. Can you please provide me with your insight regarding this and help me understand why I might not be feeling God’s guidance in this situation?

Sincerely, Bride To Be?

Dear Bride To Be?,

The Lord tells us His will through the Scriptures (2 Tim 3:15, Eph 3:4), and no emotion or feeling should ever be our guide in things moral. That is why you haven’t been receiving any direct guidance in your situation… God already gave us all the answers in His Bible (2 Pet 1:3). Happily, the Scriptures are very clear in your situation.

Your fiancé is not married and is therefore available to get married. His prior spouse divorced him over fornication, which is the only permissible reason for divorce in the New Testament (Matt 5:32). In any case, he is no longer married to his previous wife. The divorce is long since final, and if he isn’t married – he isn’t married.

God certainly intends for marriage to be between one man and one woman for life (Gen 2:24). Having said that, God understands that, unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way (especially when people are living worldly lives). In John 4:17-18, Jesus recognizes five separate marriages that a worldly Samaritan woman had had. Jesus recognizes that in a sinful world, people don’t always make the choices God desires for them, and consequently multiple marriages do occur.

As a christian, you must understand marriage is for life. Regardless of past choices, if you and your fiancé get married… make it ‘til “death do you part.”

My dad used to say that the USA is and has been historically so blessed because we are a Christian nation.  Is this supported by the Bible?  Would the inverse be true then, that non-Christian nations suffer as a result?

Sincerely, National Interest

Dear National Interest,

All nations are blessed or cursed based upon their adherence to God’s will. Blessed is the nation whose God is Jehovah (Ps 33:12). God blessed Israel when it obeyed Him, and He cursed it when the people departed from Him (Deu 11:26-28). There are times when God raises up and blesses wicked nations, for a time, to do His bidding… but eventually, they too are destroyed if they remain wicked. Babylon is a great example of this principle (Hab 1:6, Jer 25:12).

When a nation puts God first, it receives blessings from His hand. When that nation sins against God, it is punished. Righteousness exalts a nation; sin is a reproach to any people (Pr 14:34). America was founded upon Bible principles, and many of the founding fathers are quoted placing their trust in God and the Bible. That trust and national loyalty to God are what exalted the United States over the past 233 years. Unfortunately, it is universally agreed upon that the America of today does not care about Bible principles as our forefathers did. Unless we repent, we will continue to suffer the reproach of becoming an ungodly nation.

God punishes nations that turn against Him in many ways. In Amos chapter four, God tells Israel several ways He disciplined them in order to get them to return to Him.

1. Famine and economic turmoil (Amos 4:6)
2. Natural disasters such as drought and flooding (Amos 4:7-8)
3. Disease (Amos 4:9)
4. War (Amos 4:11)

It doesn’t take long to see some of the parallels in our nation’s recent history. America, like all nations, will only find lasting peace and prosperity through serving God.

I have a question about being saved. I have heard so many things about the requirements to be saved, and I am really confused.  I think I have the basics, but I want to be 100% sure.  I know that some websites say that if you believe in Jesus, you will be saved.  I know that it does say that in the Bible, so it is true. Some people believe that this is all you have to do.  Others say that if you believe and try your best to repent and change your ways, you will be saved.  It seems like it depends on whom you ask.  This is what I “think” from all the research that I have done. I could be wrong, of course, but I think that if you do the following steps, you will be saved. Believe everything that Jesus said, believe that Jesus was “God in human form”, believe that Jesus rose from the dead and went to heaven, know that we can’t save ourselves and that Jesus died for us, believe Jesus never sinned, believe Jesus became sin for us, believe that we don't deserve and cannot save ourselves, ask for forgiveness, and then try to live by the ten commandments as best as you can until the day you die, if you slip up ask for forgiveness, and you need to be baptized. Do you think that I am on the right path?

Sincerely, Baby Steps

Dear Baby Steps,

The Bible outlines five things you must do to become a christian. The question, “What must I do to be saved?” is the most important question any human can ever ask. Plenty of groups will pick and choose what they want to focus on. Many groups say that all you must do is “believe in your heart” and you will be saved – unfortunately, this is cherry-picking out one requirement and leaving the rest behind. We must always remember that the sum of God’s Word provides the truth (Ps 119:160). Belief is obviously an important element to salvation, but it is not the only condition. The Bible outlines five separate requirements for salvation, and all of them are necessary.

1. Hear the Word. Faith comes through hearing, and hearing comes through the Word of God (Rom 10:17). Until someone hears God’s Word, they are incapable of obeying it.
2. Believe the Word. It is impossible for someone to become a christian unless they believe that Jesus is the Savior and Son of God (Jhn 20:31, Acts 16:31, Jhn 3:16).
3. Repent of your sins. ‘Repent’ means to ‘change your mind’. That change of mind always involves a change of action as well. Repentance is when we change our mind about what is important and submit ourselves to Jesus and His Word. Repentance is a necessity of salvation (Mk 6:12, Lk 13:5, Lk 15:7).
4. Confess Jesus to others. If we have sworn our allegiance to Jesus, we must be prepared to publicly confess Him as our Lord. If we won’t confess Jesus before men, He won’t confess us before God (Matt 10:32-33, Lk 12:8-9).
5. Be baptized in the name of Jesus for salvation. Many groups baptize people, but very few baptize people for the right reasons. Baptism isn’t merely an “outward showing of an inward faith” or “for membership”. Baptism is what saves us (1 Pet 3:21). Baptism is the point where someone goes from being lost to saved because they are buried and resurrected with Christ (Rom 6:4-5). Baptism is the final requirement to become a christian (Acts 2:37-38, Mk 16:16, Acts 2:41). There is not a single example of someone becoming a christian without baptism. Baptism is just as necessary as the other four requirements.

After that, there remains nothing else but to find a faithful congregation to assemble with (Heb 10:24) that teaches God’s Word and God’s Word only (see “Finding a Church” for more details) and to continue to grow in knowledge and practice of God’s Word (1 Pet 2:2).

My grandchildren have told me several times that one of their friends uses some by-words that sound pretty bad. They also said that the parents use these words, so the friend thinks the words are okay. The words used also included a racial slur. Since these people are christians, and I am sure this is not appropriate language, what, if anything, can these young people say to their friend about the language without upsetting the parents?

Sincerely, Watch Your Mouth

Dear Watch Your Mouth,

By-words or euphemism are used today as “soft” swearing. Instead of actually using a four-letter word or the Lord’s name in vain, people will alter those words (often by only changing a letter or two) to expressions more socially acceptable. The problem is that the meaning still remains the same. It is very similar to when television stations bleep-out bad language – everyone still knows what was intended.

Christians are supposed to avoid all unwholesome speech and crass language (Eph 4:29). Our language should always edify and build up other people. This is exactly why euphemisms and by-words are bad for christians to use. The euphemisms have the same intent as the ‘swear’ words. We should always talk in such a way that we impart grace and goodness to those who listen (Col 4:6). Secondarily, euphemisms give enemies of the gospel an opportunity to condemn christians. When we use by-words, our enemies can argue that christians are only using a language loop-hole; the intent behind our words is the same. Paul tells us to carefully watch our language, so that we never give enemies of Christ the opportunity to condemn us (Tit 2:8).

As for what your grandchildren can say to their friend… not much can be said. They can always request that their friend not use words like that around them and then explain why. You can remind your grandchildren that a true friend won’t use words to purposefully offend. Even if the friend will stop out of respect for your grandchildren, it is a step in the right direction. Unfortunately, euphemisms are so common amongst God’s people that it will take a lot of teaching and time to rid christians of the habit.